Discipline Turns Around a Marriage

This is a guest article by Mark, who brought spanking into his marriage after it had started, and during a time of difficulty. Since having difficulty, and introducing discipline some time into a marriage, are both common situations, this is a topic I thought would greatly benefit the readers here, and anyone else who might be in a similar situation. I have made only minor edits to his writing:

Several years ago,  my wife and I found ourselves bogged down with work,  two young boys, and the challenges of everyday life.  The honeymoon phase of marriage had been long gone and we were experiencing considerable difficulty getting along.  We were arguing more, having sex less, and slowly becoming strangers.  I was at the end of my rope and was very frustrated.

It was at this point that I confided in a close friend who allowed me to vent my feelings.   He asked me what I thought the problem was and after some deliberation, I said, my wife argues about everything, she is disrespectful to me, and is almost non-existent in the bedroom.   His reply: “have you ever considered giving her a spanking?” I nearly fell off my chair.   I was no stranger to being on either end when it came to spankings for punishment,  but I had never considered spanking my wife as a form of discipline.  He then began to explain the tenets of domestic discipline to me and how it worked.  And for the next several hours,  I listened intently to my buddy explain what he claims saved his marriage from ruin.  I was nothing short of fascinated, particularly when he told me his wife had received her most recent spanking only days earlier.    By the end of the night I was exhausted,  but somewhat eager to consider whether I could actually employ domestic discipline in my own home with my wife.

I spent the next few weeks scouring the Internet and reading every possible tidbit about domestic discipline.  I spoke to other man who spanked their wives and sought their advice.   Now before I go on,  please don’t think that domestic discipline is just about spanking,  it’s much more than that,  but spankings are a very important component. It’s much more about husbands taking the lead and teaching their wives to obey their commands and regularly demonstrate submission to her man who lives her, protects her and teaches her. She learns through discipline to better submit to him, and he learns better to lead.

Then came the night when I approached my wife.   I don’t think she believed I was serious.   I decided to pick five things I wanted to change in our home. These were issues that I felt were related to my wife being either disrespectful, dishonest, or disobedient.   I told her that if these new rules were broken that I would be putting her over my knee and teaching her a lesson.  To be honest, she seemed intrigued,  almost excited to be given such clear-cut guidelines and consequences.  We then put the rules away and returned to our normal ways.  It was only two days later that my wife started arguing with me.  I asked her three times to stop and she didn’t.  What followed was her first punishment spanking. I’ll return to that experience later,  what I’d like to explain now is how domestic discipline has helped save our marriage.   

Through a great deal of time and patience,  my wife has learned how to become a submissive wife and obey her man.   She has been over my knee many times for some very severe spankings that have left her sore for quite a while.  She has spent a great deal of time writing out lines, standing in the corner and on occasion, had her mouth scrubbed clean with a bar of soap.   But after all is said and done she has become a most giving and loving submissive wife.

Domestic Discipline has improved the line of communication between us.  She understands my expectations of her.  She does not argue with me.  She obeys my rules.  She pleases me sexually and during times of discipline will provide additional gratification to demonstrate submissiveness.   We enjoy each other’s company more, laugh more, and spend more time together.  Our sons are growing up in a loving, nurturing environment under my lead.   My wife is allowed to express her opinion,  but knows that I have her final say.

Taking the lead is not an easy thing to accomplish.  There were times where I was tired and didn’t want to spank my wife.  I have learned that in order for domestic discipline to be successful, a husband must always follow through on his word and spank his wife when it’s necessary.  By providing clear expectations,  a wife will respect her man and know he means business.  Knowing she will have a sore behind if she ignores his command will make her feel secure and taken care of.   My wife hates getting a spanking but understands why it’s necessary.  

Just as this website suggests,  I spank my wife soundly so that she will learn from her correction and improve her behavior.   I want her to be very sore for a while for her to remember that she must not demonstrate the inappropriate behavior again.  I will make her write the lesson several hundred times to reinforce this and I will make her stand in the corner to feel shame and remorse.  My wife receives all of her punishments nude, so as to contribute to her vulnerability and embarrassment, which are key components in the learning process.   Finally,  my wife is required to perform oral sex on me at the end of a session as an act of gratefulness and submission.

I cherish, adore and love my wife.  Domestic discipline has been the number one contributor in the renewed success of our marriage.  If you are considering giving it a try, I would strongly recommend doing so.


38 responses to “Discipline Turns Around a Marriage”

  1. I am very curious to all the men that discipline their wives, do you just do it as a chore to keep your marriage in order or is there a part of you that gets satisfaction from exerting authority over your wives (spanking her).

    1. Thanks for visiting the site and for your question, Eric. Any of our readers are welcome to answer it, of course. The women who comment here could surely express their husband’s view of it, since the question is for men.

      To generalize, I’d say nearly all husbands who spank their wives view it as a responsibility, in terms of keeping the order in marriage and guiding her behavior. Many also find some level of satisfaction or excitement in it, as it is a naturally intimate act, expresses authority, and humbles her. Naturally, there are times you don’t really feel like giving discipline, and it can feel like a “chore” as you express, but we still do it because of its importance.

      I’d be in hearing other experiences though.

      Take care.

      1. Thank you for your response. I spanked my woman for the first time this past week and felt guilty that there was a part of me that enjoyed it even while she was crying. I think it was because it was the first time in our relationship I truly felt in control.

        1. Hi Eric, That is a common way to feel. No need to feel bad. Even the sight of our woman in that position bare is naturally an attractive thing to see. Congratulations on starting discipline in your home. I believe you will both enjoy the rewards of it. Feel free to share more of your experiences here.

  2. Mark, thank you for this post. V. interesting. I began bending my wife to my rules back when we were dating. It was easy because her father was a good disciplinarian who spanked her, her sister and her mother. IN fact, we had a lovely few rituals when we got engaged and then married signifying the handing over of primary authority from her father to me.


    [Comment has been edited by Aron to remove material inappropriate for this website]

  3. hamiltonman Avatar

    Perhaps I can frame my question that had to be edited better. Mark, I’m wondering if you are raising your sons to follow in your footsteps as husbands. And, if so, how are you going about that. It would be helpful guidance for others of us who have young sons. Thanks.

  4. I feel that spanking my wife is a duty that I must fulfill if she has earned that. In order for the spanking to be meaningful, it must be unpleasant, long and hard. While there are times I’m tired, I will always spank my wife when required to as the head of the house.
    Having said that, I do admire and enjoy seeing my wife nude in the corner. I enjoy her body and her submissiveness. While she may feel very differently because she’s being punished, I think it’s quite normal for a husband to have some satisfaction from giving her a spanking and the oral sex that in my house, always comes when she is released from her cornertime. I hope this makes sense.

  5. hamiltonman Avatar

    Thanks, Mark. I’m still not sure how you teach your sons about this. Are they aware of this discipline?

  6. CoTxGrl83 Avatar

    I am a wife, but through conversations with my husband this lifestyle has freed him as much as it has me. He is free because like mentioned above he has control. When things are not going the way he believes is right, he can change the direction. He can and does control us from getting stuck in the dreaded martial cycle where the arguments literally go on for years! Where a wife is able to control her husband my withholding love (I feel like I want To say I have never done this, even before we started CDD but I hear a lot of people struggle with it) and withholding herself, where a wife puts her husband down in front of friends or the children, or heck even in private. Stuff like that. There is a finish for everything! Arguments do not last forever or until the man gives in because he is tired of dealing with his wife being ugly and withholding. If you argue it’s gonna end that day one way or another. I have Learned for it to end by respectfully, gently, quietly, and calmly talking through it with my husband. He will either say to me, you know honey I see What you are saying. Ok let’s do it that way. Or me saying oh I see What you are saying…. or disagreeing, but respecting his decision, or it ends with him busting me because I can not handle one of those three
    Options. Then it ends with me saying I’m sorry I respect your decision through tears and a sore throbbing butt. If y’all knew me before you would understand what a miracle it is that I have been blessed to live this lifestyle. I say That I am free because sometimes I get Goin and before I know it I have lost control of my emotions, I’m upset, I’m frustrated, I’m hurt, I’m this I’m that… I’m free because now I have boundaries set up around me. They are constant, and they do not ever let me cross them, no matter what. Even when he is tired and doesn’t feel like dealing. He always does. These boundaries have become the most comfort I have ever felt. The safest I have Ever felt. I know If I lose my mind, my husband has me. He is gonna be there for me. Even if it is to spank me til I can Not sure down for 2 days. He is there to love me before, during, and, after. I feel better after always, I see my husband as such a strong leader and place I can be my absolute worst self. He doesn’t run away and leave. He doesn’t shut down and ignore me. He stands up, he sees I’m not in a place where I can stop myself, he takes me down the stairs, he puts me over the side of the bed, he holds my back with one hand, he grabs the brush from the drawer with the other, and in a millisecond pulls my pants down and the next thing I know I am feeling that pain radiate through my soul. Its not fun. It hurts. I’m even afraid. I’m afraid because I know I’m going to get it now, then I let my guard down, he kinda breaks through it after awhile. After even just a minute what I was mad or stressed about is GONE!! All that matters to me now is for my spanking to stop and my husband to allow me to say I’m sorry and show him I’m sorry, and show him I’m ready to be calm and get back on with the program immediately. He is always there to accept my apology, to remind me how special I am, and how he understands me, but he must not allow me to go backwards. We can handle any situation together, if I just Communicate calmly…

    This lifestyle truly, TRULY changed and saved our marriage. I have Always had a submissive heart, but I am also kinda a hot head too. I am beyond grateful I have My husband to hold me accountable when needed. I think Every man kinda withdrawals, or leaves, or whatever it is to cope when he is super unhappy with how his life is running, but he has no say, no controls no
    Respect at home. Men with drawl because they would go crazy otherwise.

    This lifestyle allows men to not only stay focused, they are even more in tune than ever. They learn to be more a part of every single aspect, which is what SO MANY woman wish for. A husband who is present, and aware of her feelings, who is hands on with the family, and her! This lifestyle allows for that!!! I would almost bet money most woman would rather their husband stay and handle them (spank), come to a conclusion, and it be done, rather than her husband saying I need some space, I need to get away for a minute… nothing feels worse!!

    Not that each do not need their own space and room to go do things alone sometimes, but I’m talking about after an Argument.

    Sorry this got really long. I hope it helped to hear from the woman’s perspective in this one.

    Thank you all, and I hope Everyone is finding joy and peace in their marriages.

  7. my husband says it is not a sin to take pleasure in punishing his wife
    he says it is the wife’s obligation to give pleasure to her husband
    a woman should take pleasure in satisfying her husband, even if it implies some pain or discomfort for her
    “the wife’s pleasure must be the husband’s pleasure”
    “the wife’s pleasure belongs to the husband”

  8. Thank you CoTxGr83, that does make me feel much better about it. We had specifically set rules over a month ago or so and vaguely discussed discipline. She has a submissive nature, but we’ve always strived for equality in our relationship believing it was “right” but without any leader, you are correct about arguments lasting indefinitely and no one really being content.. anyhow, we’ve always disagreed regarding how she dresses. It may seem irrational, but seeing her exposed to other men even slightly sets me off even more than lying or disrespect. Things were going great for a good while. I thought I may never have to discipline her actually. Anyhow, I saw a snap of her wearing a low top and quite frankly went off. I hadn’t even bought a paddle or anything thinking I may not need it, but I knew after everything that ANOTHER conversation about her dress wouldn’t make a difference and we had explicitly agreed on this rule. That’s when I was confident she needed a real “talking to.”When she came home, I gave her an ultimatum about being spanked or leaving because I can’t tolerate that.. she cried and got very emotional but conceded. Like I said, I never got a paddle, so I sent her to wait in our spare room while I cooled down some and decided to use our wooden spoon. Mostly I took advice from here, but it was still a little awkward and “rough,” not everything went exactly as I intended, but I did put her over my knee and pulled everything down and paddles her til I was satisfied. I showed her the picture and the list of rules she’d agreed to beforehand. It took longer than I thought to give her the punishment I felt she deserved because the spoon doesn’t cover much at a time. When I was finished and she was in tears and jumped up to grab her butt, that’s when I felt “good.” I just kept thinking, “I bet she doesn’t try that again.” After the spanking she was I think somewhat angry and left abruptly and I sort of forgot to tell her to stand in the corner so I just let her, she did not pleasure me and we didn’t talk much that night. The next day things were more peaceful.. now I do plan to purchase a paddle and training her orally in the near future.

    1. That’s a good start Eric. A spanking should certainly bring her to tears. I think you’re moving in the right direction with getting the paddle, and giving her oral training. You are able to evaluate well, and see what worked, and what could be better. Naturally, make sure by the end she is in full submission, and committed to her better behavior. I think you will see improvement with her, but give it time. Be consistent, firm, and unwavering.

  9. Also, CoTxGrl83, sorry if this is too personal, but I’m curious if you pleasure your husband after he spanks you and how that has went/how it began..? I would like that and feel it’s appropriate, but not exactly sure how to introduce it during a punishment.

  10. I can say the use of spankings saved our marriage. I met Jane at a church function and was drawn to her immediately. Jane came from a large family but unlike the turmoil that was all too common in the home I grew up in, her family’s relationship was harmonious. Jane’s mother was interesting, she would call her husband sir in front of me. She was deferential even with me. I learned that Jane’s dad still spanked Jane when we missed a date curfew , we lost track of time, Her father scolded me and said it was partially my fault Jane was spanked for missing curfew. I was shocked that Jane was still spanked by her father. Jane herself accepted that it was her dad’s duty to correct her when she was disobedient, I also found out that Jane’s mother was no stranger to her dad’s strap either. At the time I thought this was barbaric. I vowed I would never lay a hand on Jane after we were married.

    On our wedding day her dad gave me a nasty looking strap, he had talked to me previously of my duty to correct Jane if she was disobedient or disrespectful, which I tuned out. He told me that strap was no virgin and he expected me to use it to begin our marriage. I had no idea what he meant with the virgin remark, but I found out on our wedding night, it was obvious Jane had been strapped by the marks on her behind. I threw away the strap. Jane seemed surprised.

    Things went well in our marriage at first, but Jane began to be a problem. She would neglect chores, spend too much money and as time went on, I would come home to a note, and no dinner. We began to argue, it just got worst and worst. Finally, after about a year of this after coming home again to an empty house, I called her dad in desperation I knew she listened to him. He said he would be right over. She was still not home when he arrived with a strap in his hand. I decided that if her father spanking her would get her to behave then I was going to be OK with it.

    When Jane walked in and saw her dad, she went white and was obviously fearful, she could see the strap laying on the table. He told her you know what is going to happen now don’t you? She started to cry nodding her head. He said to her come here, which she slowly did. He unbuckled her jeans and belt and pulled her pants and panties down and had her step out of them. He then had her bend over the couch end, I thought he was going to spank her, but he handed me the strap and said this is your job.

    So, I began with the strap, tentatively at first but soon I gave her a severe spanking. Jane wailed and begged but her dad just said give her a lesson she needs it. When I was done, I let her stand up, she was dancing around rubbing her behind, any thought was of modesty were forgotten. After a bit, her dad told her to go stand in the corner.

    While Jane stood in the corner, he lectured me about why Jane was acting out, she needed someone to correct her and be strict when she misbehaved. After he left, I put Jane to bed after a trip to the bathroom when I finished stripping her and cleaned her up, removing all her pubic hair, this would be a new rule. I was surprised that she was not angry at all, instead she craved intimacy. Before the spanking she seemed to have lost interest in having intimacy.

    We have been married now 49 years, we raised five children and Jane is still subject to spankings if she misbehaves. She also gets a maintenance spanking after her Saturday night bath, about five with the strap before she is allowed to get out of the tub. Without the tool of spanking, our marriage would not have worked.

    1. If I could have a question- to Bob or Aron. Why do women (maybe not all) crave for intimacy after being spanked? As I have written before I’m not spanked by my man, but I’m trying to introduce this idea to him. And after reading Bob’s description of his wife’s first punishment and her reaction to it, I started wondering what my reaction would be. After all my bottom would be sore, probably I would be in tears. I have no idea how I would react myself. Maybe the same way like Bob’s wife or maybe I would like to have a bit of time for myself to think everything over. I hope I’ll find out one day.

      1. Thanks for your question, Joanna. Sure, all are welcome to share helpful insight into your question.

        Having spanked many women myself earlier in life, I can say that reactions vary. Some women immediately want to be intimate after a spanking, or simply want to serve their man sexually. Sometimes it amounts to a barrier to that intimacy being removed, since the spanking took some of the coldness or hardness out of her, and now she is drawn to her man very easily. She craves that renewed connection, that had grown a bit cold. A spanking also places her in a deeply submissive position, in which intimacy seems natural, since the act itself is very submissive on her part. I would add that there are other motivations as well, but I think those are two of the main ones.

        Other women are still fighting the correction quietly in their mind, or need time for their humbled ego to be soothed a bit. They are still feeling bad about themselves and ashamed, so sex after a spanking would appear to be doubly humbling. For a woman like this, intimacy immediately after a spanking can be hard, but after she is calmed down more, and has had a chance to talk, and be held, it becomes easier.

        I think most couples who practice marital spanking would say it does draw them closer sexually in their marriage as a whole, not just at the time, but in the future as well. The man’s taking charge of his wife in correction seems to overflow into taking charge of his wife in the bedroom, and most usually love it.

      2. Joanna I am not really sure why Jane craved intimacy after her correction. This does seem to occur fairly often. My guess would be that Jane needs to know she is still valued and loved even though she disappointed me by her behavior

      3. Joanna, as a spanked wife, I guess I can try and answer your question.

        To begin with, I was the one who introduced the idea of DD. However, my husband had already spanked me before that. Once. He was fed up. We had argued. I had disappeared and just gone to bed without saying anything. Next thing I know, the covers are being pulled from me and I was being spanked.

        My husband owns his own construction company and works out of state during the week. His jobs right now are close enough he drives home every weekend. We have 4 kids ranging from high school to prek. I am a full time teacher. I am the Next of Kin/POA for my disabled father who is in a nursing home so I have the responsibility of all of that also. All of our kids are in multiple sports/extracurriculars. I work in the same school that all 4 of our children attend (I dont think he would allow me to work if this wasn’t the case. I used to be a stay at home mom. I had applied to a job that would not match our kids school schedule and when he found out he was less than happy about it). Its a low income school and my class can be very challenging.

        All of that being said, I get very stressed out. We had a dear friend coming in to clean the house once a week because I am so busy. She was in a horrible accident that almost took her from us on our son’s last birthday. Luckily she is strong. She is still with us and doing amazingly well. However, she is not recovered enough after 3 months to begin working again. Our house is a disaster. Laundry is not done. Dishes are not washed. On top of all of the stress I already had, now there was this. I knew I could do it. But I just couldn’t seem to make it happen. My husband understood this. I flat out confessed I just can’t seem to make myself get it done. He said “if you can’t I know I sure can”. I started with a simple everyday to do list and added daily weekday chores to make sure by the end of the week, the house should be clean and everything should be taken care of. The first week was horrible. I knew I had it coming when he got home. And I did. Second week, a little better. Not even close to great. But better. Again, I knew I had it coming. You see where I’m going with this.

        But, to answer your question, I know I need help. He knows I need help. After he spanks me, he is loving. I get hugs and kisses and I have no problem getting on my knees to thank him and then being bent back over the bed to let him take what he wants. It is such a strong emotional and physical connection. You can literally feel the love he has for me. And it also confirms he is not mad at me. He knows I am trying and he still loves me with all his heart. As i love him with all of mine for being so strong and even after working so hard for our family of 6 all week and driving hours to get home to us every weekend and then helping me, by spanking me, to stay focused on my job at home.

        I hope this helped.

  11. Hamilton man, you’d be surprised what kids know, especially as they get older. I don’t think it’s appropriate to share it with younger children, but I do when they are about 10 and older. My sons first hint was seeing lines that I made my wife write that included the word spanking. They are punished with lines as well but neither of them drive! I will get a spanking if I drive recklessly written several hundred times and bingo! See what I mean. Eventually you have to come clean and you’ll be surprised how well they handle it. If they trust you, you’ll
    have no problem. And then they can begin their marriage confidently and know that domestic discipline and spankings definitely have a place in a loving marriage. Hope this helps.

  12. We have children, some younger and some grown, they have not been told their Mom gets spanked and we do not intend on telling them. We believe this is a very private matter, a husband and wife matter. However, what they very much do see and is most important that they do see, is a mother who fully and sweetly submits to their father in everything. They see the fruit from the discipline.

  13. The question of what the children should know about the corporal punishment of their mother is certainly made difficult by accepted norms today. But I do not feel there is much choice. I began the use of strappings as a correction tool for my wife before our first child was born. I decided that if we really believed that spanking is an acceptable , even mandatory practice , in a Christian marriage , and since parents are charged with the important job of teaching children by example Christian practices , we could not keep it a secret. For my wife who grew up in a home where punishments by her father of her mother were done quite openly, she would not even understand her punishments by me being a secret. Of course you do take on some risks when punishment of a wife is known , but if handled carefully and if the wife obediently accepts her punishment , we found you can be open about this Christian marriage practice. In addition, this really demonstrates proper gender roles in a Christian marriage, roles we expected our sons and daughters to fulfill in their own marriages. Jane was much influenced by her own mother’s obedience and submission, as were our Children by Jane’s submission.

  14. […] of the biggest encouragements in teaching discipline is hearing the stories of marriages that turned around because of spanking. I did not go through that myself, having led my marriage in […]

  15. […] by their stumblings. They can and do change, and learn to be gentle reverent wives. They will accept your authority with your patient […]

  16. […] You don’t need to introduce it in the middle of a marriage, previously undiscussed, to right a sinking ship. You’ve talked about it. She understands what will happen, and you can bring it in if you […]

  17. swansong Avatar

    Mark, your situation really resonated with me (but from a wife’s POV). My Hoh and I have been married 7 years and have two young sons. We live in one of the most expensive counties in the country and will for the foreseeable future (we have aging parents, my husband likes our area and is not open to relocating). I have a graduate degree, I’m politically liberal and we are Catholic. I am very independent and I’ve been supporting myself since I was 17. I was not spanked as a child.

    All that said, it was starting to feel like my Hoh and I were like two ships in the night. We were both so tired all the time and all of our patience seemed to go toward the kids and our jobs. We were fighting often and going to our separate corners once the kids were in bed. The house was in constant disarray and trying to find clean masks, water bottles for Little League, clean laundry etc. just felt frenzied. This has been building for a long time.

    Recently, I had a rare weekend to myself. I thought hard about how chaotic our lives are, how guilty I feel about how I take things out on my husband, and how there are several things I want to change in order to be a better person and have a more peaceful home. I looked up domestic discipline and found Aron’s blog. I think I read every post and comment. While I don’t agree with everything, I started to get excited that there was a general framework for accountability and that what my marriage was experiencing was not only common, but that there was a path forward.

    I actually sat down and wrote lines based on 6 things I wanted to start with, and wrote each rule until I filled two sides of the paper. The rules were about spending less money or sticking to an allowance, using a respectful tone with my Hoh, being sexually available, keeping the house tidy, going to bed earlier, etc.

    When my Hoh got home and after the kids went to bed, I poured my heart out and told him I wanted to be a better person. I showed him my list and asked him if we would read through this website and help hold me accountable to my goals. He was really excited and surprised that I revealed a lot of my shortcomings. He’s not perfect either, but having two competing egos coupled with my huge amount of pride is just not working. He’s going to spank me this weekend and I have only been spanked erotically. I’m scared but I am resolute in making this work. I love him and our family and I love myself too. We can do this and come our stronger for it.

    Thanks for the inspiration.

    1. That’s really wonderful to hear, Swansong. Thank you for sharing. You are welcome to let readers know how discipline works for you, either this first time, or in the long run. You’ve made a wise decision, and it reflects a humble heart.

      I do have one article on facing your first spanking, if it would help you, right here: https://spankingyourwife.wordpress.com/2020/08/15/facing-your-first-spanking/


      1. Swansong Avatar

        Thanks for the link, Aron. I have read it multiple times. 🙂
        Also, thanks for holding space here and living out your conviction. I realize it may not be easy and it definitely exposes you to controversy and criticism, but I appreciate your candor and intentionality. It helps with the stigma.

        1. My pleasure. It’s what I believe in!

    2. i hope this works really well for you but in reading this and remembering my own days of trying to do everything with two young kids I would also advise you to seriously consider hiring a part time housekeeper if you can possibly budget it. A research study I read found that mothers who are stay-at-home and not working outside the home spend over 60 hours a week on childcare, cooking, and housekeeping. If a woman is also working outside the home as you are, you could not possibly put in that kind of hours without either being very dissatisfied with the degree or organization and cleaning at your home and possibly dissatisfied with things on your outside job because of being so pressured. If you are feeling pressured and unhappy or even physically exhausted all the time, that will very likely spill over to conflict and resentment with your partner especially if you don’t feel he is contributing enough. I have heard these things over and over with woman I have worked with over the years. Just an idea!!

      1. Hello Beth, Thank you for your suggestion. In my experience, a dedicated homemaker can typically handle the work of the home, as well as caring for the children. I know a number of women who accomplish this. There may be family members who can help her out as well, and once the children are old enough, they pitch in. One of the great ways girls learn to be women is by helping their mother around the house. While the husband is often too busy with other work, a man with free time can help take the load off of his wife by taking care of a few tasks. I would discourage hiring housekeepers, but if this truly is necessary, there’s nothing wrong with it. A man who works many hours on the job, plus works on his own property, may need to hire someone at times to mow the lawn, or do other work. He’s not always able to do it all.

        Despite the sometimes harried pace of being a homemaker, it will not lead to conflict or resentment, because when a man and wife are living as God calls them, she looks to her husband with respect, with kindness, and with love. They work out any problems with peace. She would never think to start conflict with him, but only asks for his guidance or help. Naturally much of the work of raising children and caring for the home is impossible if a wife works full time outside of the home. This is why couples should plan to the man to be the provider, so she can fulfill her work in the home full time, and they don’t need to turn their children over to strangers to raise. It is impossible to do both.

  18. Best of luck Swansong. I just read your comment today. Writing Lines is a great punishment to help you remember what you need to do. I use this punishment regularly either on its own or in conjunction with a spanking. I hope your husband was proud of the effort it took to write so many lines.

  19. […] are the couple who entered into domestic discipline for this very reason, and found in virtually turned around their marriage. A good bare-bottomed spanking can do what no long discussion, argument, counselor, […]

  20. I just want to add to this thread and answer the question “Why would she want to be intimate after a spanking?” For me, after the first time I was spanked, I was SO ashamed and put into my place that it was just natural to fall to my knees. He commanded me, “Take off my pants.” I did and just automatically started pleasuring him with my mouth. I had NEVER done that before. I just felt like it was the next natural step to say, “I’m yours. I submit to you.” I think I wanted to please him to abate his anger, too. I think he was surprised. 23 years of marriage and I had always said “no” to his requests for me to even put his member in my mouth. And now I was full-on giving him oral pleasure. He didn’t climax– he made me stop just before. Then he told me to get on the bed and he took me from behind. That was also a natural continuation of submission for me. Facedown, on the bed, giving myself fully to him. It restored our relationship and brought us together.
    I hope this helps. I know everyone is different. For me, I was the one who asked him to start CDD, so I wasn’t angry at him… I was angry at MYSELF for my behavior and wanted to fully give myself to him. The love and closeness between us, and my softness, lasted for several days. Then we had Session #2, lol. There was still a lot of rebellion and hardness that would rise up in my heart, so he spanked me 4 times the first week. Each time, my submissive heart lasts a little longer. As crazy as it sounds, the RESULTS of being disciplined with spanking is worth the pain of during the Discipline Session.

    1. Those are great results. I expect you will both have more fulfillment as you continue to work at your God-given roles. Let him grind down any resistance in you. Headship and submission fits the wonderful design God gave each of us, which is why it feels so natural for you to respond to your husband’s power that way.

      It doesn’t really need to be explained that certain sex acts manifest submission, as the human reaction just tells us anyway, and teaches it deeply. Kneeling alone is a deep-seated reaction to power. Serving a man with your mouth, or being taken on your knees, is a submissive response, as well as a teaching tool for further submission.

      I think you’ll find that other spanked wives respond in a similar way. I am truly happy you are seeing the benefits of discipline in your home. It functions on so many levels.

  21. […] unique challenges for some individuals, and can be applied wrongly. Just as some marriages find they need it over time, others find they should not be using it over time. What qualifies for the latter? For […]

  22. Thank you, Aron, for this blog and your ministry. It is a blessing to read it and helpful to have a place to learn about discipline within the context of a Christian life and without being exposed to pornography.

    I have always wanted a husband who would discipline me and lead, ever since I was a little girl, but I didn’t know anyone else who thought that way. I thought I was just weird and never told a soul. There was no internet when I was young.

    I have been married for 15 years and a few years ago I asked my husband to spank me. It took a lot of courage for me to reveal my secret, even to him. I started with telling him I liked erotic spanking but eventually admitted I wanted him to do it “for real” to help me and our marriage.

    He took me seriously, thought about it and decided it made sense, but was (and still is) afraid to hurt me. Just last week I worked up the courage to read him something from this blog and I think it helped him understand why on earth anyone would WANT to accept pain and punishment from her husband.

    He gave me my first spanking last week. It wasn’t hard enough but it was a big step for both of us and I am grateful. We had a horrible weekend with me being stressed and rude and arguing. The spanking fixed it. Instead of days of resentment and silence I felt love, respect for him and closeness.

    Swansong, your comment resonates with me. I am also Catholic and politically liberal. I have a graduate degree too and work in a position of authority at work.
    I have three sons and struggle to keep a clean house and speak respectfully to my husband. I tell myself I don’t have time to clean, but I do. I just have to learn to make my home a priority.

    I am trying to understand the paradox of my liberal values and desire to be empowered at the office while craving discipline and submission at home. I do know I am one with my husband before God and am willing to give all of myself to him. It’s a relief to give in after all these years.

    I will keep reading, searching and learning here.

    1. Hello Amie, Wonderful to hear about the change in your life and your marriage through marital discipline. If men and women really knew what it could do, many more would try it.

      You did what it takes, which is learn with an open mind, have the courage to try and introduce it to your husband, and be humble enough to receive a correction. So many things start falling into place easier when man and wife are doing their jobs. That’s especially true when men know their authority, and have effective means of correcting their wives. Spanking is good for both. It is a change of mind and of lifestyle. You would be amazed what you can do once you have it in your life.

      I hope you continue to keep an open mind about what is true or not. If the headship and submission taught in the Bible have shown they are successful and beautifully natural to you, remember the same is true of all its truth. It is in harmony with our natures, how we exist as individuals, families, and societies.

      The Bible does not only teach that the man is the head, but also that the woman is saved in childbearing, and is the keeper of the home. That is what the bulk of Christians accepted throughout history as well. If you can see that headship and submission is right, then know in your heart that being a mother and homemaker is right too. It is the godly calling. It is in tune with your nature.

      Moreover, if your views are the same as the “liberal” culture, know that the Bible’s teachings on the family are equally true, bring peace, life, and protection to human beings. The only sexuality that exists is one man and one woman for life. What the culture promotes in the way of fornication, sodomy, divorce, adultery, are only a perversion of the right way, and don’t amount to valid paths themselves. They are demonstrably against our design, and demonstrably harmful.

      The divine light of the Bible and the common light of nature agree on this too. If we are Christian our value system is rooted in the Word of God, and does not conform to the ways of the world, especially not in an unbelieving, decadent, selfish society. To love God is to obey God. Let your heart be convinced of the totality of His truth.

      I think you will see your husband continue to grow as a leader, and in correcting you. You may find he delivers much harder spankings soon. Those that are thorough are most cleansing and effective on every level. I know we’d love to hear about your continued growth.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    2. Amie, I *so* relate to you. I don’t talk to anyone about this paradox except for my comments on this post. Like you said, it was so difficult just to confide in my husband who is my best friend, and I still feel embarrassed when the topic comes up. I don’t think any of my friends would understand – plus I am pretty private in general.

      I think it takes a lot of courage to bring this into your marriage and it can be lonely and confusing without social supports. I am rooting for you.

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