One of the difficulties many men face in beginning to discipline their wives is their own fear of giving a spanking that hurts. Just as they often have discomfort in stepping into a clear authority role, they also have discomfort with the idea of “hurting” their wives, even for their own good. IF this is the case, they hand out light and insufficient punishments. This will not do the job. These tender tappings do not justly punish a wife’s bad behavior, and they certainly do not make her feel submitted to her man. They do not firmly give her the show of strength she needs. They don’t soften her. A man who is new to discipline needs to overcome fear, and give his lady the hard spanking that she needs.
A wife being disciplined needs your firmness. If she doesn’t have it, a variety of wrongs can appear. With punishment being light, it becomes hard to her to see how her behavior was wrong, since it clearly did not merit a serious response. She can start to view her disrespect, disobedience, or negligence as something more or less tolerable, and certainly not a terrible wrong. This is an obstacle to her remorse, and her growth as a woman. Light spankings also do not make for much of a deterrent. A woman rapped gently on the bottom isn’t going to fear it the next time. She isn’t going to get nervous about stepping out of bounds and getting in trouble. Moreover, her man’s instructions and warnings will carry little weight. If she gets in trouble, what’s the worry, it’s just a little talking time. She will feel she can do whatever she wants. Moreover, the woman who lacks serious discipline from her husband will not feel the kind of submission to him that being firmly spanked leads to. She’ll feel she is still in charge, and he is not really that strong. She still has her strength and may be harder than he. A soft man like that doesn’t carry that much respect with his wife, and he doesn’t make her feel soft inside, and ready to follow him. If anything, he might actually earn her scorn, and strong distaste. She has to walk around knowing each day she has a weak man, and that’s not something many women are proud of. Even if she wants to be a good wife, she may quietly hold him in derision.
A spanking needs to be a clear show of force, and a very undesirable punishment. It needs to let a woman know her behavior was wrong, and so wrong that it merits some time in the fire, and a sore backside the next day. It merits her needing to be humbled, kneel before her lord, cry, and want to do anything but have to go over his knee. It merits her being ashamed of what she did. She has to look at that strap each second and wish it was NOT about to be lashing her now bare bottom. She knows her man is about to see her at her most vulnerable and ashamed. She may have rebelled before, but now she’s going to be quivering and weeping over his knee.
A woman might hate the experience itself, but after she is spanked hard by her husband, she returns to deep submission to him. Whatever was rising up inside, like that puffy leavened dough, is subsiding and laying flat. Her hardness to him or her anger is spanked out of her. Perhaps the stress that caused her to become rebellious is gone, and replaced with inner quiet and tranquility. It relieves her greatly inside despite her previous rebellion. She knows she can serve him now. She knows she is clay in his hands. She feels his hardness and strength. It is natural to kneel before him now. It is easy to follow him. His instructions and his strap have brought her back to her good and beautiful place.
Husbands new to spanking need to understand this. They also need to know how to deliver a hard spanking, one which is a just punishment for her offense. Do not fear hurting her. As long as you are reasonably safe you will not injure her. Do not fear her tears either. They are natural and good. Continue spanking, and punish her through her tears. In any instance I have spanked my wife, I make sure to cover her upturned backside from top to bottom. I will also lay some strokes on the top of her upper thighs, a very sensitive spot. I make sure the blows are hard enough to hurt, though usually not full strength. I strap or paddle her solidly, and cover her bottom multiple times up and down. The fact I have a good deal to lecture her about as I spank her ensures it’s not going to be very short, because I will cover a number of topics as I chastise her. I talk, and spank. I talk, and spank. I ask her questions, and spank. Repeatedly.
I also look to the color of her bottom, to know I have not been strapping too lightly. I expect to see her bottom a deeper color than pink. Some instruments will begin to raise small welts during the spanking itself. Afterwards you will come to expect other colors to arise, usually with some bruising here and there. I also make sure that her reactions are appropriate to being firmly disciplined with my words and my paddle. I nearly always will see her in tears, and I expect her apologies for her behavior, along with her sincere commitment to changed behavior in the future. She needs to assure me she will be good in the future and never wants to end up over my knee again. My harder spanks are usually met with vocalizations of her displeasure. I hear either muffled or open cries. When she tells me she does not want to be over me knee again, I have no doubt that she means it.
A spanked wife is being trained inside rightly. When that spanking is firm, she is going to have a reminder in her heart and mind into the future. You can be confident of that. She has a reminder of the authority of her man and the authority of his words. When she hears her man instruct her, that spanking acts like a trigger to give more power to those words. When she is tempted to do wrong, or feels like rising up against her man, a spark goes off in her mind and reminds her both that it is completely out of place for her, and that there are a mountain of consequences. You find your warnings, like your instructions, are taken seriously and can by themselves bring a changed attitude from her. A hard spanking alters your wife’s behavior for the better. It gives her help in sustaining the right attitude. She wants to be pleasing to her lord. She is less apt to stray from his words. She knows most deeply she belongs to him.
This is all not to say that I encourage you to punish in the cruelest, or most medieval kind of way. A good spanking husband does not mimic the bdsm world. He is not going after extremes of pain. He simply knows how to correct a bad girl, and that a spanking needs to teach a lesson, and put a woman back into her submission. Spanking not only has different methods from bdsm, but has a different spirit. Wife spanking says — you’ve been bad, now you’re going over my knee to learn a lesson. Bdsm says — you’ve betrayed the King of England, and you will be tortured before you hang. A spanking husband is firm and is not afraid to leave marks on his dear wife’s bottom. He is also self-controlled, and not seeking to injure or achieve the highest possible levels of pain. He adjusts the severity according to the offense. He loves his wife, who is his beloved helper, not his prisoner.
If you are not prepared to give firm discipline, you can expect a wife who has difficulty following you. It’s that simple. At worst, you may also expect a wife who scorns you, openly or quietly. You can expect a wife who has no fear of disobeying you, and no respect for your strength because she cannot feel your strength. Her desire in bed is also not as strong, because it’s harder to desire a weak man. Teach her clearly, and spank her firmly, and you will nearly always see the opposite. You will find your wife follows you more easily and with more success. You will find she is consistently obedient, often with immediate response to your commands. She does not disrespect you, but openly honors you. Her words become soft. Her desire in bed is overwhelming, as she is magnetically drawn to your power and she knows she needs it. Learn to be hard with your wife. You will see she is loving, soft, and gentle. And she does NOT want to get spanked.
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