You Might Need a Spanking If . . .

There are many women who know they need a spanking, and they wish they had one coming up. They need little more than to have their skirts tossed up, get thrown over their man’s knee, and spanked on the bare bottom for a while, as they cry out. There’s simply no avoiding this.

There are many reasons why then need a spanking right now. Mostly, I write about the punishment spankings, given to her for breaking the rules and to provide necessary rails on her future behavior. Yet I do not deny the many other less obvious reasons a lady will need a spanking, knows she does, and wants it. Some of these reasons border on punishment, while others clearly are more in line with therapy and sexual release. We can all guess what they are, but I’m going to go over some of the major signs here that mean you might need a spanking.

You might need a spanking if . . .

  • You’re beginning to get mouthy and a little attitudinal, and in your heart, you just want to argue. Being quickly stripped and spanked will give you the cure. Mouth will be over. Heart will be content. You will want to serve him on your knees instead of mouth off. 
  • You just have a negative perspective, and want to complain about everything. There is foulness in your soul. Once your man bares your behind and gives it a good tanning, you’ll have much less desire to complain, and will be calmed and much more grateful. You will look at that bright red bottom and know that life is good. 
  • You are directionless, discontent, and can’t find a thing which interests you. You have become consumed with boredom. A spanking will give you some immediate direction, motivation, remove any distractions, and focus you on what is important. Then you will get right to living life, and you will do it with purpose. 
  • You are doing your job in a rather half-hearted way, and just mailing it in, as they say. Such lack of care and borderline laziness can be turned around with a spark of motivation and encouragement. This comes with a little time alone with your man, and his encouraging smacks on your backside. It will train diligence into your soul. 
  • You just want to feel your husband’s power and experience his strong body close to yours. You don’t want to give it to him, you just want him to take it, and take it relentlessly. This may already happen when you make love, but it happens powerfully when you get bent over and spanked. It is a major dose of manhood for a lady needing one. For some it ends in passionate sex. Even when it does not, it can seem like a sex act in alternative form. 

Naturally, getting the spanking she needs comes with the man giving his lady a good lecture, and providing some direction in how she needs to behave. The spanking is the biggest and most important part of this therapy session so to speak, but his mind and thoughts need to direct her in what she needs to do. He needs to tell her what to do, give her any needed chastisement verbally, and then give her meaningful activities to fulfill the soul, and which of course will be useful. He needs to communicate his ownership of her. If the spanking is not truly a punishment, it is natural that it’s milder than the punitive kind, even simply a long hand spanking. She still may cry, cry out, and beg, but it’s not severe like a punishment. The tears will cleanse her of the dissatisfaction in her soul. Your strength in correcting your woman will build her up inside, and provide her that inner stability. 

You might think what I’ve listed are some mild reasons for a spanking, and maybe they are. They would definitely increase the number of spankings daily in the world if we acted on them, and not all of them are truly necessary. However, an unnecessary spanking never hurt anyone (at least not in the real sense of the word), and they just may do some good. Considering the number of unnecessary prescriptions for psyche meds, for real meds, and for dangerous addictive drugs, a few unnecessary spankings are not the least bit dangerous. Overall, I believe they will help, because they are therapy in a way, and spanking is a deep act of union between man and wife. That inherently is good. It is a spiritual act just as sex is a spiritual act, and it bonds them both together. 

Some readers will recognize the value in giving a spanking for these reasons aligns with giving a normal maintenance spanking, at least in part. The maintenance spanking helps remind a wife of her place, and keeps her in a good and respectful mode. It may also be used to shore up on any smaller failures in her behavior which do not warrant a punishment. Altogether, some may find that a weekly maintenance over her man’s knee takes care of most of the needs I write about here, as it will speak to her attitude on multiple levels, and bring her the inner peace that she needs. No need to pick up on those subtle cues of inner turmoil if you are placing her OTK weekly to begin with. That said maintenance may miss some of the specific purposes of correction I mention here, whether they are her desire for the erotic charge, or her minor failings, which themselves ought to be spoken to uniquely.

If a woman is dissatisfied, and she is inching into dangerous territory, she may just need a spanking. If she is directionless, and needs his guidance, she just might need a spanking. If she’s giving her man the eye, that’s a good sign too. Stripping her naked and bringing her to tears with the hairbrush is a medicine for many ills. No husband should be without the important marital phrase: Does somebody need a spanking right now?

Feel free to add to my list of reasons in the comments below! 


Comments

20 responses to “You Might Need a Spanking If . . .”

  1. PatriotInPearls Avatar
    PatriotInPearls

    I found this article amusing. Not in a comical way, but more in a mind-blown, “How does he even know this?” kind of way. 😂

    If one is asking the last question in this article, the one asking and the one being asked already know the answer. I know from experience. 🤭

    1. Thank you. I would have trouble extending the list of reasons for needing a spanking much further than I have. I am open to hearing more of them.

      1. PatriotInPearls Avatar
        PatriotInPearls

        I’m not sure if this is at all different from what you’ve stated, but for me, anxiety is probably the biggest one I could add from personal experience.
        It doesn’t always come out looking like anxiety, either. A lot of times it comes out in ways you’ve described in this article—being restless, irritable, mouthy, overthinking everything, or just being completely wound up.

        Sometimes I just need help regaining control of my emotions. For me, it’s worse to continue spiraling in anxiety than to be corrected for the behavior it brings out. Oddly enough, it’s a kindness, really.

        1. That’s a good way to explain it. If prayer and useful activity does not help in a situation like that, a spanking can bring the soul back to where it needs to be. Sometimes, it’s the direction a spanking provides which can rid the mind of such negative thoughts. Plus, the connection to the person who cares about you helps.

  2. LindatoBehave Avatar
    LindatoBehave

    I enjoyed reading this article. There are times that I do some small things that need or call for a little correction to point me in the right direction. For example, I have a tendency to leave a jar cover off or do not take the time to empty the lint out of the dryer, or play music a little too loud.

    For these situations, my husband will simply turn me over his knee or bend me over, lift my skirt and spank my bare behind enough to get my attention and some teary eyes. I then fix the problem.

    On the music thing, if an neighbor complains, I get a full spanking and time in the corner and give an apology to the neighbor.

    thank you

  3. Looking back on the early days of my marriage, no matter how desperately I wanted to be a traditionally feminine bride, one who was submissive to her husband, obedient, respectful, and reserved, I hadn’t ever been taught those skills. I was childish in many ways, immature and prone to laziness or vanity, unable to control my emotions when I felt strongly about something. My parents hadn’t provided me with the discipline I so badly needed from them, and I just wasn’t capable of drawing strong boundaries for myself in the few years of adulthood I experienced on my own before God blessed me with a husband.

    I share that just to explain how ripe I was for marital training, and that my husband never had a shortage of reasons to spank me. There was always a clear act of misbehavior or disrespect to which his punishment was linked. My persistent need for discipline and training have given me the spankings that I craved so badly, with all of the additional benefits for a woman which you’ve described so well above. But my husband has shaped me well, and the frequency with which he needs to take me over his knee declines a bit each year I am under his care. After the birth of our first child, we discovered that much longer than a few months without physical discipline was not good for our marriage, but that was due more to my husband’s misdirected empathy for his postpartum wife than to a lack of cause. With God’s help, my husband once again provided me with physical punishment when it was warranted, and our budding family is better off as a result of his fortitude.

    It has made us wonder what this aspect of our marriage might look like as I continue to grow under his leadership, becoming more and more of the godly woman I was meant to be. There are many rituals in our marriage which help to remind me of my husband’s righteous authority over me and my sacred position in service to him, acts which bring joy to us both. Perhaps the most fulfilling for me is serving as a vessel for my husband’s children, and we never feel more blessed than when we are expecting a new member of God’s flock to join our happy home.

    But there is no substitute for the deep emotional reset a long, hard spanking can provide, and that very immediate reminder of just exactly what man I belong to. My husband has prayed over this, and he has assured me that a “just because” spanking will have a place in our future if it’s ever been too long since I’ve technically earned one. It may sound odd how much of a comfort it is to hear him say that to me, given how much I do truly fear being spanked harshly by my husband (his “love pats” on the other hand are always very much welcomed). For all of the reasons you’ve mentioned here and elsewhere, there are times when I need to be overpowered by my man and forced to submit to him, when I need to be made to squirm and brought to tears, to feel his strength as a fearsome, powerful reality in my world. It supercharges all other aspects of our love, and I don’t want to lose that simply because I’ve been good. The idea that this need might be met for us both with a more intimate hand spanking that requires less recovery time is intriguing to us, and my husband looks forward to experimentation. Knowing myself, though, he may have to wait awhile before he truly has to conjure a “just because” reason to bend me over.

    Thank you for sharing, Aron, always. My husband and I enjoy the opportunities to have heart to heart discussions about such important aspects of marital dynamics. I feel like I always learn something new here.

    Blessings,
    Sophia

    1. Thank you for sharing about your growth as a wife, and in your relationship with your husband. A spanking can certainly be an “emotional reset,” as you say. It has a way of getting everything back in order. I’m very glad the article gives you a chance to consider the role that spankings serve in your marriage, far beyond punishment, and to discuss it with your husband. That kind of communication is valuable. Blessings to you both.

  4. So basically if you need more of his attention and he doesn’t know any other way of giving it.

    1. It’s a bit more than mere attention. You may already have his attention, but not the kind that really cleanses you. I would call it his guidance, a form which is separate from punishment. It could also be described as a reconnect, or simply a chance to experience his power. With that it is a chance for a woman to experience her submission to him more deeply.

    2. ALifeSurrendered Avatar
      ALifeSurrendered

      I am not currently receiving such discipline from my husband, but I felt compelled to comment here.

      I believe I’ve seen you comment on other posts on this site. From your comment, I felt, perhaps erroneously, bitterness in what you wrote.

      I can understand where that might be coming from, if you’re the sort that doesn’t appreciate the desire that some women have to be under the authority and even dominance of their husbands. I don’t think that desire is particularly uncommon, given the state of “romance” content, of which the worst I know of is “50 Shades of Grey.” I didn’t read those books, but the fact that many millions have tells us all we need to know.

      I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a husband setting boundaries and enforcing them with his wife, and I see nothing wrong with her even wanting to be spanked for erotic reasons.

      I wouldn’t care to spanked for real, but I know that I deserve it at times. And there are times, like at this very moment, when I’m irritable for no reason and just out of sorts, when I would benefit from an emotional cleanse.

      I wonder if the bitterness stems from feeling neglected in your marriage or life. I hope not, but if so, I hope that is resolved soon.

      1. Thank you, truly, Surrended, for sharing your honest thoughts with me. I’m honored that you felt compelled to respond to me and express concern for my well-being. But I want to reassure you that I am very much the sort of woman who wants to be dominated by my husband and ruled over by his heavenly authority as the head of our marriage. I was confused as to why you might think this if you’ve read my other posts, but I have to admit that some commenters blend together for me, too. For instance, I recognized your name here, but mistakenly thought you were also a disciplined wife. I was very surprised to read that you haven’t been spanked and don’t have any interest in getting spanked, even when you deserve it, even if it might offer you the benefits of an emotional cleanse when you are, by your own admission, unreasonably irritable and out of sorts. Are you here just to learn about submission? I would encourage you to keep your mind open. Has your husband read Aron?

        But, Surrended, the real reason I’m commenting is that I’m very confused and ashamed that you picked up on any bitterness in my comment. Saying that obedience and submission are more difficult in practice is very true statement, for me, at least. My parents were very permissive, and I just wasn’t prepared to submit to real authority, as much as I desperately wanted to. All of the things you wrote that were acceptable for women to desire, including the erotic element of discipline, were things I very much wanted, even before I met my husband. I am thankful that he rewarded me with the strong male leadership I craved, swiftly followed by physical discipline a few months into our marriage. These are things I thank God for everyday! Even on the days my husband spanks me (maybe especially on those days), I never fail to get down on my knees and thank God for my husband above all else, truly the greatest gift He has ever given me.

        My cheeks burn with shame that I wrote something interpreted as bitterness towards my husband or his right to discipline me as he sees fit. Would you please respond and tell me what I could have said differently? I’ve reread what I’ve written, and while I believe there is nothing but love behind it, I worry that I might have given a woman who’s never been spanked by a man a different impression. And if there is truly lingering bitterness in my heart, I need to atone for it. Please share your thoughts with me, Surrended.

        Respectfully,
        Sophia

        1. ALifeSurrendered Avatar
          ALifeSurrendered

          Hi Sophia,

          My reply was to Cerah! I’m so sorry you thought it was directed at you!

          No, for myself, I crave discipline, though my husband doesn’t see fit to give it to me. I know it would benefit me in many ways, and our marriage, but he’s not comfortable with the idea. I pray in time he will change his mind, but I’m not going to keep hounding him for something he is unwilling to give me.

          Again, sweet lady, I didn’t intend that to be a reply to you.

          1. Oh, Surrendered, I can’t tell you how relieved I am! I was so worried that I had misrepresented the life of a disciplined wife as one of simmering resentment and bitterness. I can bear those difficult moments precisely because I know the peace and happiness they bring to our marriage. They help me to release negative emotions before they have a chance to take root and harden into something evil. Discipline, when properly applied, actually prevents bitterness. Truly, I embrace my husband’s sovereign authority over me with abundant joy and gratitude in my heart!

            Yes, I also felt there was bitterness in Cerah’s comment, but I forgive her because think it stems from a deep unhappiness in her own life. (Perhaps a bit of jealousy, too?) I don’t know her circumstances, but I do pray for her happiness. She’s come here to learn, and that’s the best first step she can make. God will help her if only she can open her heart to Him.

            Now your reply makes so much more sense! I believe I’ve read your previous comments about your husband’s reluctance, and maybe we’ve replied to each other before? I get so lost in the comments sometimes, but I’m certain that I have prayed for you, too. There are many ways for a man to lead a woman, and if your husband believes that discipline is unnecessary, you are right to respect his decision and not pester him to death. All you can do is be patient and know that God will guide his hand when the time is right, but only if that’s what He has in mind for you. My own husband was opposed to marital discipline at first, and I know that it was not my pleas that convinced him in the end. He had to make up his own mind, with the help of prayer and a renewed focus on Biblical study. All I could do is offer my whole self up to him, ready to accept his decision without question, whatever it might be.

            Thank you for brightening my day, sweet friend!

            Many blessings to you and your husband,
            Sophia

          2. ALifeSurrendered Avatar
            ALifeSurrendered

            Also, yes, we have commented back and forth a few times in various posts on here. I couldn’t tell you which ones, though.

            My brain and heart aren’t in a great place right now. I had a horrific family tragedy beginning of August that devastated me personally and my family in general. I’m still coming to terms with that.

            We could take conversation to email if you would like to talk further. I think my email is linked with my username.

          3. Surrendered, I am so sorry to hear that your family is going through such a hard time right now. Take care of yourself. I am praying for you.

            With love,
            Sophia

    3. Oh, Cerah, you couldn’t be more wrong! My husband is wonderfully, lovingly attentive to all of my needs, and I am so very blessed to be his wife. I do not suffer from a lack of non-spanking attention in our marriage.

      I have heard some parents describe their child”s “attention-seeking behavior” and how the child’s impatience and inability to express their needs in words more often earns them a spanking than the one-on-one time with mommy or daddy that they were really after. I wonder if that’s what you may have been thinking of in your comment. But, sweet Cerah, you should know that this is far from the truth. I am a grown woman, not my husband’s child, and he has many ways in which he expresses his ample affections towards me. Only occasionally does his “attention” involve the need to spank me, but always because I have genuinely earned a punishment, and not because my husband is at a loss for how else to show me his love.

      I’ve also heard adults describe a young boy physically bullying a little girl as evidence of a crush. He is childishly seeking her attention by yanking on her pony tail or pushing her off a swing. Maybe that’s what you are thinking of, Cerah? Is there someone in your life seeking your affection by acting like a little boy rather than the grown man he should be? A real man doesn’t bully a woman. He leads confidently and commands her respect, winning her hand in marriage before ever gaining the authority to rightfully punish her. It’s not a schoolyard stunt to try to get her to see him as a man.

      My thoughts on “just because” spankings are just that – thoughts and wonderings about my future. For now, spankings serve a very solid purpose in my marriage to my husband, just as Aron has described (far more powerfully than I ever could), both in his article above, and in the direct response to you which he took the time and care to write to enlighten you. I hope you will take the time to read it and learn from him.

      Cerah, I pray that you are blessed in marriage with a strong man capable of showering you with his love and attention in all of the wondrous ways God intended. And if the tone of your comment is any example of how you might speak to him, then I pray that his headship is thorough enough to include the spankings you surely need. (I suspect you’re only here because you already know this about yourself. The title Aron chose to use here struck a chord in your heart. Admit that it did! It why you clicked the link and stayed not just for the article, but the comments, too. Were you looking to find yourself in one us? Even if you’re resisting it right now, God led you here for a reason. Open yourself to His righteous truth!)

      I truly apologize, Aron, if I have overshadowed your wise and succinct comment with my own long and rambling one. I just have such a soft spot in my heart for all of the women out there without a strong, godly husband (like you or my own) to guide them properly in the confusing times in which we live. Without God’s intervention in my own life as a vulnerable young woman, I might have been successful in rejecting His truth for my life. But in finding you, by the grace of God, I quickly came to realize that He had in fact been steering me in the right direction all along, and that the type of marriage you described here was everything I had always wanted for myself. But I know there are other women still resisting the natural softness of their feminine hearts, drawn here by an innocent curiosity that they’re deeply ashamed of. Sometimes they might ask you gentle, respectful questions, allowing you to serve as a mentor and example. Other times, they might make sarcastic, barbed attacks at the bold masculinity they see in you but have been taught all their lives to hate.

      Mostly, I think they are quiet. They read your words slowly at first, not fully understanding why they are soothed by your message when they should be angered. They puzzle over this privately as they go about their day, while the seemingly shocking things you’ve described settle neatly into parts of themselves they hadn’t ever really acknowledged. This might scare them a little, and so they return, looking for evidence of the evil tyrant you must be, but finding only loving headship and cleansing forgiveness instead. They reread what they soon discover are their favorite parts, realizing that you’re speaking to an inner ache they had always felt but hadn’t known how to name. They devote some of your words to memory, only realizing this when they find themselves repeating a phrase silently, returning to it like a worry stone, grounded by the small weight of it in their minds. Before long, they are turning to you regularly, eagerly devouring your latest post, no longer fighting the warm comfort your words can provide. It is wonderfully liberating to finally find your true calling as a woman, but also painfully lonely when you are lacking the very male leadership you crave. Ladies, following Aron’s advice is the best way to prepare for a disciplined marriage, or to encourage real leadership in the man you’ve already married, and I just try to do what I can to lift him up. Godly Christian men deserve our praise.

      Ladies, whether you are curious or resentful, I pray for each of you.

      Love to all,
      Sophia

  5. Sophie, I was a lot like you. I was also very childish in many ways: immature, disrespectful, and I was always late to everything. And I was not always honest – especially about spending money. And often put us overdrawn at our bank. My Mother had spanked me/whipped me growing up, but that stopped about age 13, and now, married, I was 25 years old.

    In my first year of marriage, I must have gotten 100 spankings, or about 2 times a week. Each year after that, my spanking became less… Spanked over his knee, bottom bare, and crying like a baby. i have to admit, those spankings really helped me to mature. After several years of marriage, my mother commented: “Marriage has really helped you to mature into a fine young lady.” Well, it was just the fact that I was married; it was time spent over his knee learning to behave as a wife and Mother.

    And, ALifeSurrendered, I totally agree with your statement: “…. I see nothing wrong with her even wanting to be spanked for erotic reasons.” And might add punishment reasons. I have been chatting on spanking for 25 years now; thousands of wives want discipline and think they need a spanking, but too many husbands are soft and have learned never to hit a woman. And they mistakenly think hitting and spanking are the same thing. Hitting can occur anywhere but spanking is only to the site that God provided for disciplined.

    1. Sweet friend! (Elena? Jelena?) What a blessing it is to be married to men who practice true Christian headship, including the firm discipline that God expects of them. It certainly helped me to become a mature, obedient servant of God. The one I was always meant to be but had struggled to become without my husband’s help. I, like you and so many other women, need the firm hand of my husband on the very spot God designed for such purposes. The moments spent over my man’s knee have shaped me for the better in ways evident to everyone. His overall leadership, his guidance, and his sheer holy example keep me on the right path the majority of the time, of course, but a firm course correction from time to time is necessary for his words to carry the proper weight. There’s a balance between the two that I wish I could openly acknowledge when I’m praised by others for growing into such a lovely wife and mother.

      And 25 years?! I pray that God continues to bless your marriage.

      Much love,
      Sophia

      1. I totally agree with you: I wish we could acknowledge the secret of what has made us better wives. I wish domestic discipline or CDD was socially acceptable. I hope this site makes dent any negative opinions regarding being face down, across our husbands laps.

    2. ALifeSurrendered Avatar
      ALifeSurrendered

      I have never seen spanking as abuse. It could become that if the husband were to take it too far and break skin/damage muscles. But the correct application of impact shouldn’t do that.

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