Managing Your Wife: The Bedroom Work

The following article contains explicit content about sex. If you find that offensive you may want to skip it:

I write the occasional article on the importance of the bedroom in the marital relationship. It is essential on multiple levels, and is core to the purpose of marriage. It would be foolish not to teach about physical intimacy, even though we keep any explicit talk out of common conversation. While many husbands and wives have no problems with intimacy, and find it one of the easiest and best parts of their marriage, it still needs to be addressed as one way in which a man leads his wife, for it is. There may not be much a wife can really do wrong in this regard, since she may be fully on board with making babies, and enjoying each other’s bodies. However, a man should pay attention to the bedroom work, and make sure his wife is doing her job there. 

One of the ways that a husband can manage his wife in this enjoyable field is to make sure they have intimacy regularly. The physical closeness they experience helps them both on multiple levels. It brings emotional closeness, knowledge of each other, a bond of trust, and a deep sense of peace between them. It can put any barriers into the past quickly. Sex also keeps the wife experiencing her husband’s power, something that will help her be receptive daily to his leadings. She will grow accustomed to being soft to him, and to feeling she belongs to him. She will remember the feeling of being opened up and having him deep inside her, and easily remember the scent and taste of him, keeping the physical bond strong each day. A man should find his wife submits easily to him in bed, and having sex frequently will help her to respond without resistance and with a welcome heart. 

A man may also make sure his wife is serving him, and train her at times to do so better, and at his command. Of course there are many ways to do this. Keeping a wife giving oral regularly is one way that successfully shapes her, and it can be very fulfilling for her to experience as well. Giving oral can be as effective for a woman as being spanked when it comes to instilling submission and meekness in her. She needs to kneel and serve and work for his pleasure, and she is rewarded when he is finally satisfied. A man should make sure his wife gets used to pleasing him on command, teach her to do it the way he desires, and have her develop the skills to take it as deep as he wants. She can develop the ability to take it into her throat over time, practicing with her fingers, a phallus, or his member. Her service orally should take plenty of time, it should include work on his cock and his balls, and should use her lips, tongue, hands, and throat. If a man develops his self-control, he can keep her serving orally thirty minutes or more. If you choose to cum in her mouth, she should be able to swallow every drop. She should know that staying down on his member after he is done will help her to get all of it, and she should only take it from her mouth once she’s gotten it all down. 

Keeping the wife in the nude at other times also helps her develop her sense of belonging to her man, and her sexual submission. You may keep her nude for part of the day, or as she does some of her daily tasks. You can have her serve you food and drink nude, or engage in other services. If you give her training in submission, that can naturally be in the nude. Posing for you will also be enjoyable for your both, and will help her learn to respond to your commands. For some men sexual service means their wife will have special attire to wear, although it’s not necessary. She may pose for him, or serve him, in an outfit that pleases him, such as panties, stockings, or garters. It is also beneficial to have her nude for any formal verbal corrections, to help instill the lesson of this milder form of correction, and have it include a sense of her submission apart from a spanking. She may need to receive a lecture or write lines in the nude, followed by time on her knees serving orally.  

Keeping a dildo or several around can be useful in teaching your woman sexually. As mentioned, one can be used to help her learn to take her man in her throat. Using phalluses of varying sizes, she can learn to take more and more into her throat. You can have her practice on her own time to be prepared for you, or have her do a practice session for your viewing, where you can make clear your expectations, while offering her encouragement or correction. Developing the skill takes time, but it is rewarding for both. A phallus also allows you to fill the lady one way, while you take her another way with your member, opening up her sex and her mouth wide at the same time, so you fill her completely. At first attempt, it may be intimidating to a woman, but with time it will drive her wild. You have the satisfaction of seeing her completely opened up to you. She gets owned more deeply than she could imagine, and experiences your control from both ends.

For most couples, sex regularly involves some smacking. Even though it is not a punishment, and not as hard, some good solid smacks on the behind during sex enhance a woman’s submission. They let her feel who is the boss. That may be while you make love, while she serves you sexually, or as she poses erotically for you. A few smacks will be good for her. A slap across the face is used in some marriages, but it does need to be done more carefully, while still hard enough to make her love submitting. I do not write much about the field of erotic spanking, but some couples have spanking sessions which are largely erotic, and which instill the same submission, even though the spanking is milder and perhaps playful. Anything in this territory helps a woman experience the ownership of her man. The power and the sting speak in ways nothing else can. It allows her to be safely under him, and to let go.

Despite the mutual enjoyment, some wives will still have obstacles to overcome in bed. This is normal. For the most part, they are very easily overcome, as she develops trust in her husband, familiarity with his desires, and learns to submit without resistance. She will grow to be humbler, and will reject that prideful instinct which doesn’t want anyone telling her what to do. She will learn to love doing what her husband tells her in bed, since she learns to love his power, and feels joy in her naked femininity, the way her whole body serves him. Clothes become as useless to her as independence. Responding to her man becomes something she longs to do, and finds deep pleasure in. She looks forward to the chance to serve him and to move at his command. 

Some people live by the idea that a man should never ask his wife to do something in bed she does not feel comfortable with. However, this idea is false. Most feelings of discomfort are quite minor, and most feelings of discomfort go away with time. Women enjoy sex, just as men do. Women enjoy pleasing their man, and learn to take pride in being able to keep him satisfied. The momentary discomfort she feels is no major point of resistance. While a husband may be patient with his wife, he has every right to do what he desires with her, even if she is temporarily uncomfortable with it. She will learn. It is no great horror for her. Men do things they are uncomfortable with all the time, whether it is the stress of work or the pain of physical labor. A man should not say — it is a bit uncomfortable sacrificing myself for my family, so I’m going to refuse. Of course, that would be a ridiculous and selfish thing to say. He faces discomfort, and the fact is, even if it does not go away, he continues experiencing that discomfort, because it comes with his role — to sacrifice for his family. You tell me how comfortable snow-blowing is during the winter, and then tell me that a woman’s little “Ick” in bed is horrible by comparison. Virtually any woman can learn to please her man, to do what he desires in bed, and to overcome a distaste she has for certain acts. She is not a little girl.

Of course, the first purpose of a husband becoming one with his wife’s body is having children. We are uniquely designed for it. Marriage is instituted for it. Sex is not mere entertainment, but brings new life; life which will be trained in goodness, redeemed, and bring us a future. Without that, we have no future at all. We are dead men. For that reason, it is negligent for a man to make sex about nothing more than physical and spiritual intimacy. To rightly treat his wife, a man should give her children. Without this, she is being short-shrifted, and treated only for pleasure. While I do not teach that every single sex act should bring children, the marital union as a whole should, and spouses should not be avoiding it. It is a duty, just as sex is a duty, and it robs the community and the church for marriages to intentionally be without them. It also gives the wife the fulfilling and necessary work of a wife, which is nurturing children, raising them, a process which brings the feminine heart much joy, a joy which she will never find anywhere else. There is nothing like the beauty of a woman holding her baby. Unless there is physical impairment, any marriage ought to bring forth many. Today especially, as the secular world commits suicide by refusal to produce children, those who worship God can bring us an entire new world by bearing them. It is serious work, but it is not beyond us. No man is rightly treating his wife in bed unless he respects her purpose in being a mother to his children, which is why she has a wonderfully-designed womb, rounded hips, and a bosom to begin with. Her much celebrated curves and her mysterious allure are all about being the bearer of life. A womb full of life is the right use of the woman. 

To summarize what I’ve discussed, a man should assure his wife is serving him in the bedroom in a number of ways. These include:

1) having regular sexual intimacy, producing bonding and instilling submission

2) having her serve him sexually on command  

3) training her to please him better, and give herself more fully 

4) assuring she is fertile and bearing his children 

If you are doing these things together it will draw you closer as man and wife, and it will fill up your home with life. The bond it creates will nourish peace in your home, and put minor obstacles quickly into the past. That’s truly enough knowledge about marriage to offend countless western people. But remember, the same people who are offended that a man might enjoy his wife’s body when he desires, that he might keep her bearing children and caring for the home, are the same people who would rather the woman be able to kill her babies, divorce her husband, practice sorcery, and become a lesbian. That’s what they think of women. They do not love women but hate them, just as they hate men. It honors a woman to have her do her job in bed and fulfill her character. It dishonors her to rip away her femininity and lead her away from her man. Women need to be led, and they need their men over them. That includes in the bedroom, which ought to be attractive to all.

NOTE: I want to thank whomever posted my link up at spankingchat.com. I’m sure most meetups are casual there, but there may be a few people seriously looking for a future in marriage, one which will include discipline