Starting Your Discipline Blog

I know there are many of our readers who would like to see marital discipline become more widely known and widely practiced. If you have thought about starting your own website to share information about it, I would definitely encourage you to do so, since this is perhaps the commonest way that people learn how it works. I know several of our readers already have marriage websites of some kind, and I’d like to offer some tips for those who are considering one, but aren’t sure how to start. Some of what I offer you is unique to spanking blogs, and some is generic advice regarding websites. I believe it will help you, but if a tip is not helpful, then move on and try a different strategy. There is no formula. You have to set out with your own vision, motivation, and commitment. However, I will do my best to offer the help that I can for running a blog.

Make First Contacts: It is a good idea before your website goes online to contact the owners of similar sites, and let them know you are starting a website about domestic discipline. Tell them a little about it, and ask if they can perhaps do a post about it, or at least share a link for their readers. I did this before I started mine, and had at least two owners agree to do so, and I got a sudden uptick in views in the coming weeks. Even after that, the views continued to trickle in from those sites. You can also do a link exchange with another site, although I don’t think the more popular sites will need the publicity, since they already have many readers. Some websites compile long lists of DD links, and you can have yours added if they like it. 

Pack on the Articles Before You Start: I would recommend writing a set of articles before you even put your website up. That way you can have more than a tiny amount of material when people finally start reading it. They’ll have articles to scroll through, and be able to get a better idea broadly of what your site is all about, and whether they like it. Consider what topics are most appropriate for the start of the blog. I used to post three a week for a while, although I probably continued at a fast speed for too long, since people need time to digest what is there, and also to comment. If it is too fast, readers may miss spending time on your articles. That brings me to my next tip . . . 

Pacing is Important: Early on putting up articles with speed is good, but later on in may be a problem. If you feel obliged to put up frequent articles, you could end up with short or generic ones which aren’t of much interest. You could also burn yourself out, as I think happens to many bloggers, seeing how many stop posting after several years. If you need to take a pause from writing, feel free to take a pause. Remember, readers need some time to read, digest, and respond to your most recent article, so pace yourself to allow for this. 

However, in terms of online ranking, regular posting is good, and it can move you up in the rankings. Not everyone has the art or skills to do so, but if you can, posting regularly often amounts to providing similar material as before, but with a new interesting angle, package, or details. This is what I’ve seen the best do, not only on blogs, but also on social media. New material needs to fit in there too, but much of what you see from guys who post frequently is artfully repackaged, or at times outright repeated material. 

Bring it on, Men: We need more men posting about marital authority and discipline. I’m not the only one saying this and I’ve heard the same thing from some readers. It appears most of the spanking blogs are by women. We need to see men both teaching about discipline and giving examples of how it works. We need men explaining how authority in marriage is applied, and how they handle their wife’s misbehavior. Since men are the heads of the home, it is more than appropriate for them to do so. Many men simply don’t want to be lectured by a woman about how to be the head of the home. I believe more men would listen and learn if more men were teaching.  

Be Nourished by Your Audience: Your readers are a great source of ideas, as I have found many times since starting Spank Your Wife in 2020. Readers provide you with new material through the questions they ask, their observations, and by sending article requests. A significant number of my articles have come about that way since my first year. That is in part how you keep going as a writer, and how you keep your blog alive. The wonderful life of your visitors, some of whom become your friends. 

The flip side of the coin is that you cannot let your readers determine your content. While you may take suggestions sometimes, you need to have a clear vision and values, and then follow that. If you let your readers decide, your material loses its focus and its unique character. Therefore, have a clear idea of what is objectively valuable for people to hear, and what their needs are, and let this be the main indicator of what you write. Suggestions come second to that. 

Stay Focused on the Topic: Since a discipline blog is about marital authority and discipline, keep that subject in your sights always. That’s what you founded the blog for. If you lose sight of this goal, the blog can easily devolve into a general marriage blog, lost is main focus on discipline, and likely end up with an almost entirely female readership. It’s not a bad idea to have the occasional article, or section, about related topics which are not discipline, but keep that brief, and then move on. Return to your topic. 

Engage with Your Readers: Any website will get more people interested if its readers are engaged with the content and with the author. It’s also part of the pleasure of having a public blog. How much engagement you do or how you do it may vary, but you definitely want to let your audience express their ideas and experiences, answer their questions, and be involved through e-mail, which can be more personal and engaging. 

However, I do set some limits on this. Everyone does. You do not want comments going way off topic. I am not fond of long debates, so I generally cut them short. Something which I believe will go off topic, or be very provocative, I often invite to move to e-mail instead of the comments section. It’s quite subjective where you draw the lines, but if your blog is focused on marriage and discipline, comments should engage on those topics too, and not become a distraction. 

Having a good amount of comments generally improves your rankings.  

Be Clear and Your Christian Faith and Values: This is part of what defines your website, gives it its character, and provides a foundation. Being open about your faith and values will lose you some readership, but there’s nothing wrong with that, and it comes with the territory anywhere. Trying to appeal to a secular godless world will remove that Christian character of your work, as the secular version is radically different: it turns you into partners, it has a reversible authority structure, and allows for others to be involved in your intimacy and discipline, among other conflicting ideas. Your faith should affect all that you write and how you respond, just as it should affect your marriage life and any discipline you practice. Do not compromise this to be popular. 

Language Reflects Your Faith: Similarly, use language which reflects your faith. Don’t rely on the world’s language. You are husband and wife, and not partners. Avoid generic terms like dom and sub, head of home, or TIH, unless they are clearly in the context that they are part of a marriage and what that marriage is. You are husband and wife, not dom and sub. You give spanking as deterrent and correction, not as S/M. Discipline helps a wife grow as a Christian woman, not in mere obedience to a master. There is no discipline contract, but a marriage. 

Photo Approval: People love pictures, and pictures attract and keep many readers to your website. I do not use them often, and it may take time to track down the pictures you want, but they’re generally going to help you attract people. Looking at an image is easier than reading, and more instantly pleasurable. On a discipline blog they may include public domain photos of a husband and wife, of spanking instruments, of life situations related to discipline, and other appropriate images. Others share images of themselves, without showing their face or identifying marks. However, I should qualify this by saying that it’s possible an obsessed reader could find you via the metadata on your photos, if the pics have ever been on your computer. That means from a tech standpoint you may want to find a way of erasing the metadata, just to be extra safe. It’s a fairly easy process to do.

Try Other Venues: You can put up some of your website material on other venues, since the internet is a very large place, and people may not find your website. That could include blogs or social media. You can also get an account linked to your website, and comment online regarding marriage and discipline. I do some of this, and I get some views directly as a result. Look for groups about domestic discipline, or a similar topic, and comment there. Consider X, Facebook, Youtube, Quora, or any other venue which allows it. If enough people visit your website, eventually some will put our link up elsewhere, whether on their blog, or on a forum. I’ve gotten a few clicks from Fetlife and BDSMLR, even though I do not visit them, and they veer into very different territory. 

Problem People: Know that it’s unavoidable that you will have to deal with harassers and fakers of all kinds. This is true anywhere online, but it seems that the spanking sites attract a great deal of those people. As far as the ideological haters and harassers, men will attract more of them, because in the eyes of the delusional opposition, you are basically mean oppressors, and they imagine the worst about you. Consider their hatred an honor, and a sign that you are doing a good job. Others write in for fun with their fantasies about spanking and pretend that they are real, often with a great amount of detail. Do not trust anyone, unless you know for a fact they are legitimate.

Add Yours: If you happen to have a website already which is oriented towards traditional marriage or marital discipline, please add your link in the comments below.