Does a Long Discipline Session Teach a Better Lesson?

Will a longer discipline session make the correction more successful? While I always have appreciated spanking as a punishment for its fairly speedy character, being practical and faster than other kinds of punishment, I have also found that when time allows, a longer session can do the job better. It can make the lesson sink in better, and allow time for more teaching and learning. With a longer spanking, it also ensures that the seriousness of the offense is recognized. I do not have longer sessions often, but when it comes to punishing what I consider to be absolutely intolerable behavior, when the lesson has to be learned, I will make extra time to provide my wife a longer correction. 

One of the differences in a longer session will be that I may lecture my wife for longer. If I have enough to say, I will have a few notes in front of me. I have done this when I had to punish her for lying, and also when I gave her one for a major speeding ticket. I need to get through my points, and I also want her to express that she understands fully, and knows what she should have done. Another element which can extend a session is to add writing to it. While I sometimes use writing lines as a punishment, other writing assignments which are more thoughtful can also be useful, and will add time to the correction. I may prepare a few written questions for my wife to answer, in terms of what she did, what the consequences were, and what she should have done. Then when she is finished, she relates them to me, and I can add anything I need to at that time. This can engage her mind and soul in the learning process more than a simple lecture. 

A longer session naturally will also include a longer spanking. In some cases that just means more strokes of the instrument on the behind. In other cases, it may mean you give a warmup spanking by hand, followed by one strong and long with an instrument. I have punished my wife this way several times, always for more severe infractions. Two spankings take time, and the one given by hand, since it is not as severe, will be more time consuming. A solid hand spanking can easily be several hundred hand strokes.  If you can do so safely, there is also the option of using two instruments, one after another. When I have given a warmup followed by an instrument spanking, I divide up my lecturing and questions similarly as well. The first part of the spanking by hand will be more about the wrong she committed and the harm done. The second part will be more about how she needs to behave and how she will behave in the future. Each part is not mutually exclusive though. This does not only extend the session, but having that difference allows my wife to process the lesson better, because there is a clear distinction with each one. A longer spanking ought to hurt more and leave the bottom sore for plenty of time, so the lady will feel she just got a proper whipping for her behavior. 

Some husbands will provide a longer discipline session through longer corner time. In general I find extended corner time unnecessarily long, but there may be benefits, whether it is given before or after the spanking. It gives plenty of time for her to recognize her situation, and focus on the right way to respond, filtering through unnecessary thought and emotions, to settle on coming to the right attitude. My normal time I have her in the corner is about fifteen minutes, usually just once. However, if occasion calls for it, I may place her in the corner twice, and I may extend it if her behavior during the session has been poor, or if she has been complaining about the punishment. That could easily make corner time thirty minutes or more. 

While it is not common in our marriage, offenses which amount to what is clearly sin — such as lying, direct disobedience, or foul mouth — will demand a correction include a spiritual lesson. That may be as simple as reminding your wife of the teachings of the Lord, and making sure that she does private confession to God. You may take her to the relevant passages of Scripture. She should be reminded of the importance of her purity and obedience to God; the importance of her godly character to the children, and to brothers and sisters in the church. In cases when she has sinned directly against another, she should be required to confess to that person and ask forgiveness. If it’s not possible in person, she may seek forgiveness and reconciliation by phone. This is guidance you do not have to give during the punishment itself. It may be a part of your regular interactions and the counsel you give her, so in that case it will not extend your discipline session. If it plays a part in the discipline, however, then it will add time as well. This kind of counsel is not to be avoided, and it is worth the time to do it well. 

Other things which may extend a punishment session are poor responses by your wife to being corrected. Lack of cooperation, or open disrespect during the session has to be addressed. Take the time to reject any excuses she is making, and humble her of her pride. If it is bad enough, of course, it can earn her a second punishment, but on nearly any occasion you should be able to accomplish this with firm verbal guidance and rebuke. She should know she is completely in your hands, and she should not be showing any resistance. Humble her. Be serious and firm, and she will learn to follow you. If she thinks you are weak, she will try to get out of it with complaints and tears. If she knows you are firm without fail, she will fall into line much faster, and be easy to manage during the session. 

All in all, increased time of discipline definitely instills in a wife the sense of the seriousness of what she’s done, as well as the importance of her positive change. It helps her give up any inner resistance that she has, and drop all excuses, placing her better in the mindset to learn. Having what may seem formalities, such as writing along with question and answer, work with her soul so that she is manageable within, and not just afraid of a spanking. More corner time equally focuses her mind on the lesson. Each part plays its role. Quick spanking sessions have a danger of trivializing an offense, as they have a danger of missing the importance of repentance. They can become too routine. Important communication may be missed, or not expressed clearly enough during a short session. While I prefer discipline to be fairly quick, and most are, I have to recommend the longer session when a lesson really needs to be established in your wife.