The Spanking Lecture: What to Cover

If you have read Spank Your Wife for some time, you will know that I place much importance on the lecture during a wife’s spanking session. There may be some variety in how you give it of course, and there may be variety in whether you lecture during the spanking itself, or only before and after. I will be speaking to her before, during, and after the spanking. What cannot be denied is the importance of the content of the lecture, and that it should be given in both a firm and loving way. The lecture should include lessons for her, as well as times for her to affirm her end of the deal, which is her behavior and submission. I’d like to cover some of the main verbal points of this with you.

There are some topics which are common to every lecture, and some which are unique to the circumstances of the offense which needs to be corrected. Common points will include that a wife must be obedient to her man. They will include that she belongs to him and serves him. Points which may change are those surrounding the specific offense, the problems it causes, past problems which may have led up to it, and strategies for her future behavioral improvement. This discipline guide includes detailed descriptions as well as transcripts of lectures I’ve given, which cover some of that variety as well as commonality.

While I place great importance on the lecture, I don’t always do a great job. There have been days when I was fairly tired, and I thought my lecture was half hearted (she probably wished the spanking was as well), and I didn’t have the presence I should have, or reinforced all the points I should have. This will happen to anyone. One thing I’d advise is to prepare beforehand for the session, both how you will order it and what you will say. Plan ahead for the points you wish to cover during the lecture, so you don’t have to rely entirely on spontaneity. For the longer and more severe corrections I’ve had to give, such as when I caught her lying, I’ve actually written detailed notes so I did not forget my words. I did not want to let anything be missed. 

It is also important to call to mind the offense and the upset it has caused, so that you can provide the lecture with the right attitude, which is an attitude, while self-controlled, which is stern and no-nonsense and which realizes this matter deserves punishment. You should have in your heart the righteous indignation at her poor behavior, and often the disrespect which accompanied it. She should be able to hear that in you as you lecture and spank her. What she did is absolutely not acceptable and you do not allow it in your house. She’s been bad and has earned a serious punishment. She will be sorry for what she’s done.

A typical lecture should cover points such as these: Your wife should know what she did wrong and accept responsibility. She should know the harm it caused or the harm it could have caused. You are disappointed in her and expect better. Disrespecting your rules is disrespecting you, and that does damage to the marriage itself. She should express that she is sorry for what she has done, and that she knows she has earned her spanking. She needs to know that you make the rules, and you expect her to follow them. You do not allow what she has done. 

A lecture should also include a portion about your expected behavior of her. She will hear how she needs to behave and affirm she knows that. If she had not broken your rules, she would not be in the position she is in right now. She should promise her good behavior, surely more than once. She should promise both a right attitude and obedient behavior, and promise to avoid the offense which earned her the spanking. She should acknowledge whom her lord is, her husband, and whom she needs to obey. She should promise that she will listen to your words and take them seriously. 

During the lecture, the husband can also offer up instructions about how not to get in trouble again. I usually save this for the end, after the spanking, but you don’t have to. Part of avoiding trouble simply means doing a better job listening to you. It could include listening to your warnings as well, since warnings often precede spankings, and give the lady a chance to avoid one. Some very specific instructions will include how to be more responsible, such as writing her responsibilities down, or managing her time better. Instructions to avoid disrespect may include keeping her voice gentle, saying yes sir, and learning not to say no to you. Obviously there is a lot of variety in how you choose to instruct your wife in better behavior, and these are only examples. Any husband needs to know how to do it. 

Some common questions I will ask my wife during a lecture include:

Who is your man?

Did you earn this? 

Do I allow that behavior from you? 

Do you wish you had behaved differently?

Am I going to have to spank you again?

Are you going to listen next time? 

Who does your backside belong to? 

Some common statements I make during the spanking are similar:

You’re my woman, and you need to do as I tell you.

I do not accept that behavior out of you. 

You’re going to get a good lesson tonight. 

You’re getting that tail whipped because of your disrespect, and because of your bad behavior.

You didn’t listen to your man, and now you’re going to face the consequences. 

While for the most part I lecture in a calm and even tone, it’s not a bad idea to raise your voice occasionally if you want to emphasize a point. Raising your voice for a reason is not anger, but can be good communication. It communicates to her that you mean what you say, and her behavior really upset you. It is not a light matter, and she may not treat it as such. Short, strong words can help the lesson of the spanking sink in better, as her heart is softened along with her backside getting tanned. That helps her to be truly contrite, and not just give shallow apologies. She needs to know the seriousness of disrespecting your rules and how she has failed, and should be humble before you. Her complete belonging to you should not be in doubt.

After spanking

After you’ve finished her spanking, and perhaps given her time in the corner to calm down, there will usually be a short talk. I do not do a lot of lecturing at this time, but I do reiterate the points I’ve given her, and then I give her tips which may help her perform better from now on. I also expect her to explain to me what her future behavior will be like. What can I expect from her in terms of attitude and behavior. I also take this time to tell my wife that I believe in her, and I trust she will do well. Even when I have to punish her, I still love her, and I know that most of the time she does a good job. She just has to make the changes in this situation. I always hold her in very high esteem. I care for her, and her good is my ultimate goal. I often have her thank me for the correction, even though I know this is difficult for her. It connects her mind to something which is true and valuable for her, which is that her man just gave her loving guidance, and in the long run it is something to be grateful for. 

Unique cases

There are some elements to a lecture which only appear in unique cases. This will likely occur for you husbands as well. For example, one thing I may do with more severe or longer punishments, is give her questions in writing, and have her give detailed answers in writing. This helps focus her mind on the topics, and do so apart from a conversation. I believe mentally that is better for learning, and I’ve done it when I want to emphasize things for her. Technically this is not a lecture, but it does involve words, my teaching and her learning, along with her own affirmations. 

Another aspect which may appear only in certain lectures is dealing with acts which are themselves sinful. This is not true of a simple mistake or careless rule breaking, as far as I can see. But it is true for some offenses, such as lying or intentional disobedience. In the case of sin, I will spend time talking to her about what Scripture says, and why this is so offensive to God. I will assure that she spends time alone to confess to God these specific sins. That is a necessary part of being washed clean, and one that only her own confession can do. I expect her to be mature enough to see the terrible weight and consequences of sin. 

When it comes to a punishment for not getting her work done, which she had been continually procrastinating, I often add a check-up in the future. She will have to show me soon that she has done it. I will give her a time limit, and she has to have it done before then. I’ve never seen her fail at meeting that challenge. I will warn her that if I do not see it done on time, it will be another spanking for her. That motivates her.  

In Conclusion

It is important to take your time and make sure you have an effective lecture. It should cover the areas of correction and further guidance she will need, as well as be appropriately stern. With time, it will come more naturally, and you will make the needed adjustments to improve it. Spanking is only half of the session, and your words and management of her are the rest. They help her mind see clearly. They help her feel the importance of your lesson. They help her feel the necessary shame. 

Lecturing can be so effective that it brings a wife to tears even before the spanking begins. The words humble her, just as needing to undress and to kneel before you humble her. I consider that a success. However, even if she does not cry from the start, tears will flow as you spank her, and I will verbally chastise my wife as I spank her. She will wish she didn’t end up in that situation. All those words are part of her guidance system, teaching her the lessons and instilling the seriousness of them. Being strict and commanding, they also affirm her belonging to me, which is strengthened in the hours and days to come. They work hand in hand with the physical pain to bring success, one which is found in her diligence with her work and gentleness in the future.