It is natural for a woman to have some illusions going into the world of spanking, and also some worries in her head. For women who are getting married to a husband they know will spank them, or who are expecting that their husband will start soon, after years living together without discipline, it can feel like a step into the dark. She doesn’t know exactly how her husband will handle matters, how he will spank her, exactly what she might get in trouble for, and if she will be able to handle it. She may doubt its efficacy, and think her own problems will be insurmountable. Beginning discipline can inspire awe, attraction, and irrational fears. The spanking world is new, and likely so are the rules she has to follow. I want to offer some simple words of advice for such women to help them enter into a life which will include being humbled and being spanked.
1: You have to trust deeply. Marriage includes trust and so does discipline. You will trust your man to make helpful rules. You will trust him to decide when a spanking is called for. You will trust him to carry it out in an effective manner, including that he is safe and does not injure you. You put all of your body under his power and his care. Being under authority and being spanked is much easier with deep trust, and you will have to let go of trying to decide things for yourself, let go of wanting to argue and be right, and just be still at heart and trust your husband. Your role needs to be to follow. Be still and trust him to do right.
2: Do not linger on fear. While fear is natural when entering a lifestyle being disciplined, do not hold on to it, or it will grow irrationally strong. It will also dampen other feelings, ones which will let you grow from your spanking, and serve your husband better. Dwelling on your fear will mislead you. Let your mind linger instead on what you have to learn from your discipline, and how much you love and respect your husband. Let it think about how you will express remorse to your husband and how you will please him. If you trusted this man enough to marry him, you trust him enough to receive correction from him.
3: The short-term pain and humbling is more than worth the long-term fruit in your life and character. A spanking sometimes gets pumped up into a mere act of giving and receiving pain, but it is much more than this. Whatever the hardship of a spanking, it is passing, lasting a matter of minutes, alongside verbal correction. The fruit it bears is the good fruit of discipline, which is long lasting, blessing the woman and blessing the marriage. That benefit makes the brief pain of the spanking, even a harsh one, more than worth the effort.
4: Don’t think you need to know how everything will work, since some things will always be worked out with time, and be adapted to new situations. What is the way at the start of the marriage may well not be the way five years later. Discipline will evolve, and your husband will make adjustments based on what is working best, and on what he sees you need. As always, don’t try to be in control, and know that some of what you fear and do not like is good for you. Something you think your husband is wrong about you will find he is right about. Let discipline take its own form, regardless of your preconceptions and regardless of how others may practice it. The end goal is what matters most.
5: It is a journey in giving up pride, giving up false autonomy, and in being refined. To enter into a life in which you’ll be disciplined is to lose things which are bad for you. It is an upward slope, not a downward one, despite the shameful feeling you have when you get in trouble. You are being lifted up in the long run. Being humbled and corrected betters your attitude by lowering your ego. Pride is foul, and is the cardinal sin, taking us away from God and from a close walk with Jesus. It is humility and a childlike character which is of the kingdom of God. Come to your husband in this manner to receive his instruction. Come as a humble child ready to learn.
Punishment also takes away any false sense of autonomy, which might leave you acting without the authority of your husband, or even against him. Autonomy creates chaos and battle, and removes the easy functioning of the home, replacing it with distance between spouses and conflict. It severs the parts of the body, harming it, making it inefficient. Forget about being independent or in control. You are placing yourself under the sculptor, who will shape, mold, and refine you. You are losing any false autonomy.
You should see the value in the refinement you receive. The spanking your lord gives you betters your character and behavior, removing your bad habits, whether apparently small ones like being tardy, and obviously terrible ones, like dangerous behavior. No longer puffed up, you can be perfected, and are now free from the domination of your ego to know the beautiful freedom in your husband’s protection.
6: You know in your heart it is fair, even if you fear it. As a mother who may have already spanked children, or who soon will as a parent to come, it is common sense to understand that getting spanked is fair. Wrongdoing gets punished. Offenders need to pay a price, and learn a lesson. They need to turn their behavior around. They need to learn respect for authority. Fear cannot get in the way of knowing this truth, which any woman knows, despite her desire to protest. It is a justice system in miniature, and no wrong will be done to you when you earn a spanking. It is punishment and restoration just like any other correction system, and in the case of marriage, one by a man who loves you deeply and is committed to you. Who better is there to put you on the right path? You should put aside any complaining because you know the spanking you’re going to get is earned.
7: It will hurt, and you can take it. No matter how horrible you imagine spanking to be, a grown woman can handle being spanked, and spanked hard. Millions of women do it. Not only can they handle it, but can learn to respond with the appropriate remorse and gain benefit in working on their behavior. If your husband is doing his job, he will make sure your spanking makes you sorry that you ever misbehaved, and makes you want to never repeat the behavior. It’s not medieval torture, but a sound spanking is supposed to hurt, making sure you don’t want to experience it again. There is soreness which may last a few days, and there are marks which may last long, but no real injury is done. Your bottom is built to take it, and you can.
8: It is an act of giving and of service to accept spanking. Whatever thoughts may be going through your head about running from your spanking, or about blocking the strokes, you need to remember that accepting your spanking is a way that you give yourself to your husband. That giving is a holy part of marriage. Your submission is a holy part of marriage. Despite the fear that may be there, hold on to the fact that your giving is a central part of your marriage, and actively present yourself as his wife to be corrected. Bend over and take all that he gives. It is a part of living out your submission, expressing your service to him, devotion, and love. Your husband will admire you for it.
9: Talk to your husband about any worries you have to feel more at ease, but do not refuse him. There are endless questions a wife may have before entering a marriage in which she knows she will be spanked, but there is comfort in sharing those with your husband, and listening to his answers. He may explain how he will handle you, and also give you tips and encouragement for how you can do well and avoid being spanked often. He will explain the purpose fully to you, a purpose which you should take to heart. Ask questions about the rules, the nature of punishment, and restoration, and seek any reassurance you need. There can be comfort and rest in the soul that way, even though a spanking can be an ordeal.
10: It probably will not be like your fantasy. Whether your fantasy is an erotic one, or a nightmare of pain and sorrow, most spankings do not live up to the imagination. It will not stimulate you in the way you may think, nor will it feel the first time how you expect it to feel. Your own responses may surprise you, as you respond to your remorse, your fear, wanting the spanking to be over, and your shame, all at once. It is an experience having to bite back on your pride, often harder than accepting other kinds of corrections. Over time, your husband and you will go through this experience numerous times, and then you will see more clearly what a spanking is and how it works on you. The fantasy is replaced with reality. Perhaps not as smoothly efficient and even erotic as the more positive fantasy, and not as horrifying as the fearful one. Let yourself find out over time what the experience will be, and how it will act on your heart.
11: Stumbling is not the end. Expect that even if you try hard to be good, you will falter and repeat the same wrong. It’s human. That is part of the journey of refinement, and you respond with repentance, and with further refinement. Your husband may help you with this, not only by giving you the needed discipline, but also by careful instruction, advice, and loving encouragement. Some behaviors may indeed improve quickly, but others will take years. This is not failure, but is a sign that the process requires work, learning, and repetition. Do not give up just because you fail. Look towards the end goal and persevere. Every couple has failings, and the victory is in persevering through them, and returning back to the path. Discipline is there as your helper, for a needed lesson over your man’s knee, but you also have to put in the work yourself, and set your heart on growing as a woman. It will all act together, and it will take time.
I hope these words of guidance help you grow as a disciplined wife.
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