Discipline Description: Backtalk Ban Backed Up

One way that you keep a peaceful home is that you don’t let arguments go on and on. You allow discussion, but you don’t let it turn into real conflict. My wife knows that there is no backtalk in our house, and she is normally good about not being argumentative. I know some our lady readers also try to stay out of that kind of trouble, and actively avoid verbal conflict. Unfortunately, my wife started arguing the past week when we were driving with the children, and did not heed my warning when I told her I didn’t want any arguments from her. She backtalked no less than five times, probably more. A warning is effective in most cases, but this time she did not want to stop when I drew the line, and continued to argue instead of do as I told her. I was disappointed, and when she crossed that line, I knew I would take action later. One of the reasons why this is so rare in our home is because I spank her soundly for it, and this time, I had to give her another lesson about what is acceptable. Sometimes you have to learn by facing the consequences. So many more women would do better with their mouth if they had to face the same. 

I announced my wife’s fate later that day, as we had a few moments in the room together, while she did a few things at the closet. “The arguing was unacceptable today. You know I don’t allow that.” 

She at first tried to deny arguing, even though she’d done it over and over. But she clearly knew something was coming. 

“I told you one thing I needed you to do,” I explained, “but you would not listen.” The message was beginning to get to her. 

“I told you specifically more than once I did not want to hear more from you. Did you hear me say that?”

She answered hesitantly, “Yes.” 

“And then you continued arguing and didn’t do it, correct?”

She had no way to deny this, and said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“You surely did, because I told you. You knew because I said to listen, and I told you I didn’t want to hear arguments. If you had listened to my warning, things would be different. All the children heard you arguing with me, and it was very obvious.”

Then I gave her the news: “We are going to have a talk later.”

My wife was tearing up, apologized again, and left the room. 

In the evening, she knew what was coming, and prepared for the correction I would give her, undressing, then kneeling before me as I waited for her in the chair. 

“First, I have several questions I want you to answer. Sit at the desk, and write a full answer. It doesn’t have to be long, but it should be clear enough to answer the questions.” 

She proceeded to the desk where I had left her the paper, and sat naked in the chair, reading and answering in pen. 

—–

When she came over and knelt, I took the page from her, and reviewed some of her answers. 

“Now you will learn you may not backtalk your husband. If you backtalk your husband, you will get a spanking — That is correct.”

“It does not bring peace to the home, if you continually backtalk.”

“It will send a message to the children that you are disrespectful to their father — That is correct.” It was important for her to know that her poor behavior was before the children, setting a terrible example for them. I’m sure she knew as a mother to be ashamed of that. 

I continued responding to her answers, commenting, “A spanking SHOULD hurt, and it should be shameful. There is a reason for it.”

“Now your backtalk will come at a price, and you are going to have to pay that. I do not accept that. Do you understand?”

She answered quietly, “Yes, sir.”

“I told you I don’t know how many times, all you have to say is ‘yes sir’ and do it. I even reminded you that I am not telling you that to hear an argument. And that should have told you to stop, but you did not.”

I went to the key question so she could acknowledge her wrong: “Were you respectful to your husband?”

She looked down. After a few seconds I reached out and lifted up her chin with my hand, so as to raise her face. She looked me in the eyes. 

“Were you respectful to your husband?”

“No sir,” she managed to say.

“You disrespected your husband, and I don’t allow that. I stop that as soon as I see it, and you’re going to learn a lesson tonight. And you’re going to have to learn a lesson to listen respectfully and to do as you’re told, and not to argue with your husband.”

“Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Okay. This is what your backtalk earns you. Hand me the loopy right now.”

She reached over to pick up the instrument, and presented it to me. I took the loopy and gave her further instructions. Pointing to the low stool by the dresser I told her, “Take the stool, put it right there, bend over and put your hands on the stool.”

Using a stool is not common in our discipline sessions, but I have had her bend over or hold onto a chair before. She had an idea already what I wanted.

She picked up the short stool, placed it where I pointed close to the center of the room, and bent over deeply to hold onto its edges. 

When I saw she was fully in position, her bottom up and sticking out, I began her spanking.

“You do not backtalk your husband.” Slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, the loopy came down across her buttocks. 

“I do not allow disrespect from my woman, is that clear?” I asked, giving her several light taps on the behind. 

Yes, sir.

Slap. 

“Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir,” she managed, beginning to choke up and come to tears.

Slap.

“I do not allow disrespect from you.” 

Slap, slap, slap, slap, 

“Oooh”

slap, slap, slap, slap

“Oooh,” she cried again.

“That little backside belongs to me. Do you know who you belong to?”

“Yes”

Slap “Oooh,” she cried out again, her voice trembling. 

“Who do you belong to, woman?”

“You sir.” 

I tapped her backside a few more times. She was crying freely now.

“Who does that backside belong to?”

“You, sir” she said in trembling words. 

Slap, slap, slap, slap, slap

“Mmm, ah, ah,” she cried.

Slap, slap, slap, slap

“Oooh.”

“Are you glad you behaved the way you did? Are you glad you were disrespectful?”

“No sir,” she said between gasps. 

I brought down two, hard, heavy strokes: Slap, Slap, “Mmmmm,” she groaned. 

“Are you glad you gave your man that backtalk?” 

“No, sir,” she murmured.

“You may not behave like that. You will be very sorry for your behavior.” 

I treated her to strokes up and down her bottom, to the top of her thighs.

Slap, slap, slap “Aaaah”

Slap, slap, slap “Mmmm, oooh.”

“Are you sorry you backtalked to me?”

Through a quivering voice, she managed, “Yes, sir.”

“You better be.”

Slap “Mmmm”

Slap “Ah”

Slap, slap, slap, slap, slap “Mmm.” She sniffled through her tears.

I gave her upturned bottom a few light taps.

“How do you need to talk to your man?”

She sniffed, but didn’t answer.

Slap “Mmm” Slap “Mmm” Slap, Slap, Slap “Ahhh”

“How do you need to talk to your man?”

“Respectfully.”

Slap, slap, slap, slap, “Mmmm”

slap, slap, slap, slap “Oooh” 

“How do you need to talk to your man?”

She sniffled through her tears, “Respectfully.”

I showered down more strokes from the top of her bottom down to her sit spot. 

Slap, “Aah” slap, slap, 

slap, slap, “Mmmm”

slap, “Ah”

slap, slap “Ah”

She began sliding forward out of position, so put my hands on her waist and brought her back to form, her legs straight, arms reaching down on the stool, and bottom raised.

“Keep that butt in the air, like that.”

I gave her a few more taps.

“Do you know who you belong to?

“You sir.”

I brought a hard one down across her backside, Slap!

“Are you going to be a good girl from now on?”

Through tears, “Yes, sir.”

Slap “Oooh”

“Are you going to talk with respect from now on?”

Sniff. “Yes, sir.”

Slap

I don’t want to hear any more backtalk out of you, is that clear?” Tap, tap

“Yes, sir.”

Slap

“When I tell you something you need to do it, is that clear?”

Bawling, she managed between heavy breaths, “Yes, sir.”

Slap, “Ah.”

“If I tell you not to argue,” Slap, “You don’t argue, is that clear?”

“Yes, sir,” she spat out through deep breaths.

Slap

“I do not allow that in this house.”

Slap, “Oooh,” Slap

“Are you going to be a good girl?”

Sniff, “Yes, sir,” she said remorsefully, the tears still flowing, and her voice quivering.

Slap, Slap

“You butt belongs to me.” 

Slap

“Mmmmm,” she groaned, sniffling, and still in tears.

“You earned this.”

I have her behind some light taps.

“You promise to be a good girl?”

“Yes, sir,” she managed, still bawling. 

Slap “Aah” 

“You earned that.” 

“I do not want to see that behavior again”

Slap

“Is that clear?”

Slap.

“Yes, sir,” she cried out loudly, this time.

I brought down one more, Slap!

Sniffling

I spoke to her quietly, “You can stand up.”

She stood up slowly, my hands at her waist, with tears flowing. 

“Stand up for me.” I walked her over to the corner, then handed her the instrument of correction to hold onto. “You think about what you learned this evening.”

As she stood in the corner I went back to relax, and do some reading. That is the kind of firmness I find useful to have when I need to give a lesson in respect. It could have been longer, but it was strict and hard. She cried through most of it. Literally she spent under five minutes bent over being strapped, and the lesson will last a very long time. As I would remind her later, most important for her is to watch her attitude, and if I need to give her a verbal warning, listen to those warnings, and get back on the path. If she does this, no more backtalk, and she won’t end up sorrowfully as she did this evening. A sound spanking, however sorrowful, makes self-control and wise choices much easier for her, and establishes a very comfortable communication between us. I enjoy a pleasant, helpful, and obedient wife, and keeping her on the path is a big part of the reason why. She knows that I love her, but she also knows to look to me with respect.

NOTE: Like several recent discipline descriptions, this spanking session was transcribed from a recording of the event. I’m sure many of you reading have had to give a spanking or receive one for too much lip.


Comments

37 responses to “Discipline Description: Backtalk Ban Backed Up”

  1. Aron, I always appreciate your honest accounts of a real discipline session with your wife. I’m certain their primary purpose is to instruct other men in how to hold their own wives accountable for misbehavior, but as a woman I find them incredibly reassuring. Knowing that your wife sometimes struggles with the same temptations that I do helps me to feel less shame. My husband never fails to forgive me when I have given him cause to discipline me, but I can find it more difficult to forgive myself.

    Your word for word, minute by minute descriptions of an actual wife-spanking help to normalize the process for me. Your wife forgot herself, as I sometimes do, too. She let her emotions cloud her judgement, as mine sometimes do, convincing her that her objections, whatever they were, were more important than the fact that you’d made a decision and expected to her comply with it. Like me, she may have doubled down on her line of reasoning, thinking that just one more “but…” would help her to get her way. Pride or stubbornness may have sharpened her tongue and caused her to speak disrespectfully to you, as I have, sometimes, to my own husband. To treat our men this way within earshot of our children is especially shameful and only adds to the severity of the resulting punishment. (My husband also uses the “straight arms and legs while bent over” pose for a more serious transgression or when he needs to pack more punishment into a shorter session, because it’s so difficult for me to maintain the position.)

    Disrespectful arguing is rare in the peaceful homes headed by strong Christian men who embody God’s truth. Rare, but not unheard of, and the normal, natural path to restoring order in these homes is for the man to spank his wife soundly. Knowing this happens in other Christian homes helps me to dwell less on the shame of my sins and focus more fully on learning the lesson my husband has taught. Loving, obedient, submissive wives will fail sometimes. (Even the best of us!) This is rare, yes, but also normal for a woman, even expected. This is why God has tasked men with restoring peace and harmony within their marriage by delivering spankings when they are needed, and it’s okay for wives to rely on this help.

    We must do our best each day, of course, but I try not to feel too badly about myself for being a woman who is made better by her husband’s hand. Most days, it is by his leadership, love, praise, and reassurance. Other days, his lectures and warnings are the necessary, helpful reminders which keep me on track. But on some, as you said, “sorrowful” days, only a hard spanking will deliver the message that I need so badly to hear. I try to remember that my actions are shameful, but my periodic need for my husband’s firm discipline is not. It comforts me to be reminded that I’m not the only woman God made this way, so thank you for sharing the real moments of your marriage with us and for making wife-spanking feel normal.

    Blessings always,
    Sophia

    1. You’re welcome, Sophie. I’m glad you appreciate the realistic accounts of discipline. I know you’ve been through some of the same learning, and can relate. It’s a trial sometimes, but for your good. Blessings.

      1. Aaron, I’m new to this website, but I’d like to warn y’all about the potential risks of such physical discipline. I have had a similar lifestyle for about the last 10years, where I occasionally corrected my wife when she had disobeyed the rules I had set, often with my hand or my belt for a thorough spanking over my knee. However, this summer, my wife experienced some sort of muscular tearing or contraction in her sitting area. It still has not resolved on its own, and it has now been more than 5 weeks. She could not really sit for over 5 weeks now, feeling kind of desperate of how it would redeem one day. Yesterday we had a 4 hours flight where she was squirming on her seat, poor love. She has to take about 3 painkillers every day-which is what the doctor she consulted after the first 4 weeks prescribed her- which still did not reestablish a comfortable sitting feeling. I feel extremely repentant for the current state of my wife, and know that I will never discipline her that way again. The intention behind every punishment was never to create lasting hurt, but simpy to give her the release and frame she needed. I pray every night for her to heal properly, as she is the being I love most in my life. I am simply writing this to ask you to reflect on ways to ease up on your wives, before you might regret it later. Best, Arthur

        1. Hello Arthur, I am glad you have realized the value of discipline in marriage. I am aware of the fact there are minor risks with spanking, and I have one article discussing how to be safe. The topic has come up in the comments several times as well. In my experience, serious injury such as you describe is extremely rare. I’ve been spanking for many years in marriage, and spanked women before then as well. That means in my evaluation, the value of punishment easily outweighs such minor risk. We take minor risks all the time, including with getting into a car, and including with playing sports. It is best to be aware of them, and to be careful about how you administer discipline, but the risk does not prevent me from strongly recommending spanking in marriage. I hope you wife improves soon.

          Take care.

          1. Kruggerand Avatar
            Kruggerand

            https://www.spankingyourwife.com/2020/06/03/better-to-be-safe-and-sorry/

            A husband must sometimes balance matching the punishment to the infraction with the punishment needed to correct behavior. I remember advising my wife that I did not want her using certain substitute swear words. I explained why. I heard her slip one time to which she immediately apologized. Many years later she still has never slipped again. Sometimes when you have a hammer everything looks like a nail. Spanking need not be the only tool in the box. Some visitors comments recently seem to lack that perspective.

  2. Not talking back or arguing or disagreeing was one of the biggest attitude adjustments that I had to make after meeting my husband, and I’m ashamed to say that I had to feel the belt to make me understand. A home needs to run smoothly under one voice. It’s a waste of time and energy to talk back since I am not ever going to win the argument. My husband’s word is law and the only useful thoughts for me to have are how best to obey his commands. Once I accepted this our marriage has been a well oiled machine for which I am grateful.

    1. Thanks for your comment, Monica. It is a tale as old as time that a woman gets in trouble with her mouth. Thankfully the belt is there to make sure she reconsiders. It gets much easier once you learn the lesson. The goal is to serve your husband.

  3. I shudder to think if I back talked. Hubby would first pick his jaw off of the ground. I work very hard at proper communication.

    1. Good job, Lisa. I’m sure your husband is very happy with that.

  4. Back talking is bad enough but when done in front of other people especially the children. this is a direct challenge to a husband’s authority and always requires a severe punishment. My wife is always allowed to express disagreement with me on anything. as long as she does so with respect. And she knows I will carefully consider her points but once I decide and I tell her this, she must understand the conversation is over, her task is to obey.

  5. After using my new Loopy on my wife for back talk over a month ago I haven’t had any more back talking since. However I have been reading about other husbands using maintenance spankings and last night my wife got her first one. I didn’t use the loopy as I will reserve it for punishment. But she got my hand and the strap. She was told it will be every Monday from now on and she understands that she needs it as a reminder that I am in charge.

    1. Maintenance can be very helpful in some marriages. I would take the time to see if it is necessary though, and not jump into it. If there are continued attitude problems, it could be a useful reminder for her.

      1. My wife just got her second weekly maintenance spanking. Once again my hand followed by the strap. Right now in the corner for 15 minutes,bare behind, hands on head.

        1. Kruggerand Avatar
          Kruggerand

          Rick, I’m curious about what your goal is with the maintenance spankings. You mentioned that the talking back issue has been resolved. Is there something with that that is lingering, or is there something else lingering?

          1. I had chatted with a couple of husbands about my wife being quite well behaved after a punishment spanking, but lately the good behavior doesn’t seem to last very long. Several of them recommended maintenance spankings to remind her that I am in charge. I already see an improvement and may not continue with them if I feel it is no longer needed.

      2. Maintenance spankings are thankfully something we never do. I do submit to punishments, of course, but I don’t know how I would cope with my emotions when getting smacked for something I didn’t actually do, just to remind me who is boss. I think I would truly resent that, if I am perfectly honest. Like you say, with this man’s wife, is it strictly necessary. She misbehaved, was disciplined and has since improved her behaviour. Quite what he’s trying to prove with the maintenance spanking is beyond me. It seems to be more of a case of someone who simply enjoys doing it for his own pleasure than for any learning opportunity or chance to improve the marriage. I’m very glad that you reminded him that maintenance is not always necessary.

        1. Some people like writing fiction. Or exaggerating reality.

          1. Lola, One of the first comments I got here after I started the website was: I see your comment section hasn’t filled up with creative fiction yet.

          2. Aron, hahahaha you certainly don’t lack those now! At least it shows how much you’ve grown, to the point you have multiple audiences.. Maybe it’s something to be proud of!

          3. Thanks, Lola. I am happy and grateful to have the readership either way. But I much prefer the real comments to the fiction ones.

        2. nikki223 Avatar

          Same. My husband has never given me a maintenance spanking. He spanks me for punishment and discipline, and that I do accept without question.

          As a submissive wife, I aim to obey and accept he’s the boss so I don’t believe I need maintenance spanking to me remind me. I admit I make mistakes at times and mess up his direction, and sometimes even argue to the point where it unintentionally comes off as me questioning my husband’s authority, but for such acts I get warning or a punishment spanking.

        3. Kruggerand Avatar
          Kruggerand

          CC, I see very limited practical purposes for maintenance spanking. Rick mentioned his wife’s good behavior doesn’t seem to last very long. That could suggest specific behaviors that he sees could improve with discipline. In my mind, then he’s effectively administering discipline for behavior. I don’t see that as maintenance. Consider the root of the word … maintain. That suggests keep the status quo. Well, if there is unacceptable behavior, that is not something to maintain. I can see the potential resentment that you mention as severely undermining the trust that a woman shows in her husband when she submits to his authority. I can see value in a brief maintenance spanking period for new couples or couples newly embracing a husband’s authority role and his role as disciplinarian. It could play a role in establishing that new baseline to be “maintained. In such a case it could help establish trust that the discipline will hurt but not harm. However, once roles are established and accepted, I see no positive value in maintenance spanking. At the same time, Aron makes a strong case elsewhere for the possibility of preemptive spanking. Still, that has a clear purpose. As head of the household, if spankings linger extensively into a relationship, then the husband should do some serious soul searching into what HE is doing wrong. Does he need better lectures, does he need to set a better example, are his goals unrealistic, has discipline been applied too sporadically or too leniently, or disproportionately harsh. Whatever it is, if he’s skipper of the boat and if it’s not going where it should, he needs to figure out why. He can’t blame someone who isn’t the skipper. Spanking has valid and beneficial applications. If a husband truly embraces his role as it is reflected between Christ and the Church, he must also learn when to use positive reinforcement and mercy. The husband /father has the role of guiding his family towards heaven. Instilling bitterness and resentment is not that path. Of course, tolerating bad behavior is not the right path either. If behavior is good, then it is a time for positive reinforcement, maintenance affection.

          1. Okay, so last reply for a bit, but, I’d like to add, that something that I learned while reading Lisa’s blog, is that maintenance can be used to keep the wife happy and very peaceful!

            Which, might seem counter intuitive, but Lisa, in her blog, admitted that it’s something that helps her release stress and cry for a bit, while also keeping her grounded in the relationship and their roles. And to remind her that she can always trust her husband and rely on him! Without it being a punishment.

            Although, judging by some comments, in some relationships it might not be this way, as spanking itself will always makes us think of punishment first.

        4. DarcyNH Avatar

          I also do not get maintenance spankings. I don’t believe I would react well to it and it would be more a detriment to me and my submission than a benefit. Other people may feel differently. I don’t need reminders that my husband is the head of the household and certainly not painful reminders like that. I think prayer and scripture studies are the most maintenance I need.

    2. Theophilus Avatar
      Theophilus

      There seems to be little Scriptural support for “maintenance” spankings other than those Aron describes. God seems to chasten in direct response to his people’s sin. The closest thing that comes to “maintenance” may be the Day of Atonement, in which every year God’s people would “afflict” themselves as they remembered their sin. (For you geeks out there, the Hebrew “anah” used for “afflict” in this verse is an interesting word study.)
      .
      “And it shall be a statute to you forever that in the seventh month, on the tenth day of the month, you shall afflict yourselves and shall do no work, either the native or the stranger who sojourns among you. For on this day shall atonement be made for you to cleanse you. You shall be clean before the LORD from all your sins.“ -Leviticus 16:29-30
      .
      However this was a command for the people to humble THEMSELVES. God did not do it to them. That being the case, perhaps a periodic time for a wife to acknowledge her husband’s headship (however you choose to do it) would be a more Biblical approach to maintaining proper roles.
      .
      Our goal as men is to resemble Jesus Christ as much as possible, and though there are countless times in Scripture that he employed chastening, I have yet to find an instance of him doing it without a direct and specific cause. If anyone finds such an instance in the Bible, I would be interested.

      1. Hello Theophilus, I don’t think any Christian would contest that God brings hardship to His children at times when the purpose is not punishment. Often, He brings hardship to refine us, apart from any punishment. The book of Job itself describes terrible hardship which God brought, albeit through tricking Satan to do it, upon a man who apparently was not being punished for anything. He was righteous. It does not seem that Elijah’s suffering was due to his sin either. Much of David’s suffering and persecution by others was not related to his sin. Jesus promises suffering to His children, while not making any mention of sin. 2 Corinthians 4:11 makes it clear that suffering and death is for the sake of manifesting Jesus more deeply, as it says: “For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.”

        It is clear in the economy of God there are other reasons to afflict His servants besides punishment. There is working towards the overall good, and there is refinement of the saints. However, in general we do not decide what we can or cannot do just by seeing what God does or does not, because we are not God. Some things we are meant to reflect, of course, but we certainly are not to do all the things that God does. A husband may use discipline to train his wife if he believes that is for the benefit, being rooted in his authority and his love for her. Those are both God-given responsibilities.

        Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  6. Hi Aron,
    I am wondering reading this, what you mean by the term “backtalk?”
    It can be a nebulous sort of term, and can be taken to mean anything from being sassy and impudent, to something much less insolent such as expressing even the most gentle and respectful presentation of something one fears is being misunderstood, or sharing facts one knows were perhaps not taken into consideration, or even merely asking for reconsideration of a decision in view of some other rationale.

    Thanks for your consideration of my comment,
    Cresta

    [Comment edited by Aron for brevity]

    1. Hello Cresta, I think I have been fairly clear on this website when arguing becomes an infraction. That is when it continues past a certain point, lacks respect, and ignores clear statements that the matter has been settled, often ignoring warnings to stop as well. While I cannot relate exact words or phrases my wife says in instances she has gotten in trouble, if she got spanked for it, then it fit the mold I have just described, and was clearly too much. In this case, as in others, my wife admitted she had been disrespectful.

      There is definitely a line between simply offering up other ideas, and arguing in the disrespectful sense, and I punish the latter. That should not be tolerated in marriage.

      Take care.

      1. LindatoBehave Avatar
        LindatoBehave

        I did a little research, mainly for my benefit, and found the following:
        Backtalk means responding to someone—especially a parent, teacher, boss, or other authority—in a disrespectful, argumentative, or defiant way.

        Examples include:

        Arguing: “Why should I? You never make him do it!”
        Talking back: “I heard you the first time. You don’t have to keep telling me.”
        Sarcasm: “Oh, sure, because you’re always right.”
        Disrespectful tone: “Whatever. I don’t care what you say.”
        Challenging authority: “You can’t tell me what to do.”
        Blaming: “It’s not my fault. You should have reminded me.”
        Eye-rolling or scoffing while responding to an instruction.
        Interrupting: “Yeah, yeah, I know! Can you just stop talking?”
        Mocking: Repeating someone’s words in a sarcastic voice.
        Refusing rudely: “No, I’m not doing it, and you can’t make me.”

        Important: Simply disagreeing isn’t necessarily backtalk. Someone can say, “I don’t agree with you, but I’ll do it,” without being disrespectful. The tone, wording, and intent are what often make the difference.

        Aronhusband, Sir, talking back, eye rolling, and interrupting have gotten me paddled most recently in the past few months. Talking back also gets me a mouth washing. Believe me, it is not done on purpose and mostly, I just do not think before opening my mouth or rolling my eyes. Any of the above that are thought to be willful, results in the strap or loopy. My husband is new to the loopy and it is something I totally hate. Even while out it fits in the glove box. Just a hint to have to go to the glove box while out, straightens me out immediately.

        1. Thank you for that detailed overview of different kinds of disrespectful speech. That’s very helpful. I hope in the future you learn to pause and consider what you will say and how you will say it before you speak. That will keep you out of trouble.

    2. nikki223 Avatar

      It’s definitely a gray area. My husband has at various times spanked me for backtalk. Mostly it’s if I take an argument too far and continue to press after he says the matter has been decided, and I admit I’m guilty of this. The rare times he’s considered something I say to be sassy, snarky or disrespectful, I’ve gotten disciplined far harder than for simple backtalk.

  7. Despite all the comments that focus on spankings and the supposedly sinful nature of women, I think spankings are a good way to just set things straight and correct behaviors that ought to be corrected. As they cannot be accepted for a good marriage.

    Sadly, spankings do not clean the inherent sin present in all of us, only God does. So I hope nobody thinks too badly of women when they end up making natural mistakes.

    This doesn’t seek to justify any sin that women commit, however… we’re also giving our men another way to love us, even if it’s by tanning our bottoms to reach our hardened hearts.

    And spanking just gives us another way to submit. And obey.

    I hope Aron can agree with me too!

    1. Thank you for your comment. If I understand correctly, you are saying that God is necessary to cleanse the soul, and that God uses other means, not just spankings. That is all correct. Even through the husband, as His instrument, there are other means of guidance besides spanking. A husband uses verbal correction, encouragement, praise, affection, and sets a good example himself. These all come together when it comes to getting a wife on the right path and keeping her there. Spankings are there when a firm punishment is necessary. Nobody is free from sin, except by the blood of Jesus.

      1. Thanks for your reply, Aron!

        Yeah, that’s what I wanted to say, but I hoped to be brief, although that might’ve ended up a bit too vague. A husband’s love and leadership includes all of that and so much more

        1. Lola, I’ve enjoyed reading your comments, and I’m always encouraged to find another woman here, seeking to learn while lending her voice to the discussion, praising the men who lead their marriages with courage and conviction. It is natural and forgivable for women to make mistakes, and it gives our men a unique opportunity to show us their love by firmly guiding us back onto the path of the righteous. Spanking is a tool of last resort, when a man’s other efforts have failed to soften our hearts, but it is also a beautiful expression of his love for us. It is my husband’s way of telling me, “I will not let you fail. I will not let you fall from God’s grace. I know you can do better, and I will help you grow. I will not abandon you to divorce. I will ensure that you are by my side in the eternal kingdom of Heaven.”

          Sophia

    2. Theophilus Avatar
      Theophilus

      Proverbs 20:30 says, “Blows that wound cleanse away evil; strokes make clean the innermost parts.” This is not a “thou shalt or shalt not” command. This is an observation, probably made by Solomon, on what happens when physical correction is applied.
      .
      This cleansing is two-fold. First, it is by HIS (Jesus Christ our Head’s) stripes that we (as his body the Church) are healed from sin. Second, when someone is physically corrected or spanked (in the proper way, excluding abuse of course), there is usually an emotional cleansing in their “innermost parts.” It is amazing how a spanking can genuinely change a mood or attitude from rotten to carefree and happy. I have seen it many times. Sometimes an “inner cleansing” is needed.

      1. I actually agree! Spanking prunes a woman, cutting off the parts that won’t give fruit.

        What I meant by inherent sin, (as something that can only be really fixed by God) are the parts of the plant that sometimes grow in directions we do not want them to.

        Thanks for your reply, Theophilus!

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