Discipline Description: Backtalk Ban Backed Up

One way that you keep a peaceful home is that you don’t let arguments go on and on. You allow discussion, but you don’t let it turn into real conflict. My wife knows that there is no backtalk in our house, and she is normally good about not being argumentative. I know some our lady readers also try to stay out of that kind of trouble, and actively avoid verbal conflict. Unfortunately, my wife started arguing the past week when we were driving with the children, and did not heed my warning when I told her I didn’t want any arguments from her. She backtalked no less than five times, probably more. A warning is effective in most cases, but this time she did not want to stop when I drew the line, and continued to argue instead of do as I told her. I was disappointed, and when she crossed that line, I knew I would take action later. One of the reasons why this is so rare in our home is because I spank her soundly for it, and this time, I had to give her another lesson about what is acceptable. Sometimes you have to learn by facing the consequences. So many more women would do better with their mouth if they had to face the same. 

I announced my wife’s fate later that day, as we had a few moments in the room together, while she did a few things at the closet. “The arguing was unacceptable today. You know I don’t allow that.” 

She at first tried to deny arguing, even though she’d done it over and over. But she clearly knew something was coming. 

“I told you one thing I needed you to do,” I explained, “but you would not listen.” The message was beginning to get to her. 

“I told you specifically more than once I did not want to hear more from you. Did you hear me say that?”

She answered hesitantly, “Yes.” 

“And then you continued arguing and didn’t do it, correct?”

She had no way to deny this, and said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“You surely did, because I told you. You knew because I said to listen, and I told you I didn’t want to hear arguments. If you had listened to my warning, things would be different. All the children heard you arguing with me, and it was very obvious.”

Then I gave her the news: “We are going to have a talk later.”

My wife was tearing up, apologized again, and left the room. 

In the evening, she knew what was coming, and prepared for the correction I would give her, undressing, then kneeling before me as I waited for her in the chair. 

“First, I have several questions I want you to answer. Sit at the desk, and write a full answer. It doesn’t have to be long, but it should be clear enough to answer the questions.” 

She proceeded to the desk where I had left her the paper, and sat naked in the chair, reading and answering in pen. 

—–

When she came over and knelt, I took the page from her, and reviewed some of her answers. 

“Now you will learn you may not backtalk your husband. If you backtalk your husband, you will get a spanking — That is correct.”

“It does not bring peace to the home, if you continually backtalk.”

“It will send a message to the children that you are disrespectful to their father — That is correct.” It was important for her to know that her poor behavior was before the children, setting a terrible example for them. I’m sure she knew as a mother to be ashamed of that. 

I continued responding to her answers, commenting, “A spanking SHOULD hurt, and it should be shameful. There is a reason for it.”

“Now your backtalk will come at a price, and you are going to have to pay that. I do not accept that. Do you understand?”

She answered quietly, “Yes, sir.”

“I told you I don’t know how many times, all you have to say is ‘yes sir’ and do it. I even reminded you that I am not telling you that to hear an argument. And that should have told you to stop, but you did not.”

I went to the key question so she could acknowledge her wrong: “Were you respectful to your husband?”

She looked down. After a few seconds I reached out and lifted up her chin with my hand, so as to raise her face. She looked me in the eyes. 

“Were you respectful to your husband?”

“No sir,” she managed to say.

“You disrespected your husband, and I don’t allow that. I stop that as soon as I see it, and you’re going to learn a lesson tonight. And you’re going to have to learn a lesson to listen respectfully and to do as you’re told, and not to argue with your husband.”

“Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Okay. This is what your backtalk earns you. Hand me the loopy right now.”

She reached over to pick up the instrument, and presented it to me. I took the loopy and gave her further instructions. Pointing to the low stool by the dresser I told her, “Take the stool, put it right there, bend over and put your hands on the stool.”

Using a stool is not common in our discipline sessions, but I have had her bend over or hold onto a chair before. She had an idea already what I wanted.

She picked up the short stool, placed it where I pointed close to the center of the room, and bent over deeply to hold onto its edges. 

When I saw she was fully in position, her bottom up and sticking out, I began her spanking.

“You do not backtalk your husband.” Slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, the loopy came down across her buttocks. 

“I do not allow disrespect from my woman, is that clear?” I asked, giving her several light taps on the behind. 

“Yes, sir.“

Slap. 

“Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir,” she managed, beginning to choke up and come to tears.

Slap.

“I do not allow disrespect from you.” 

Slap, slap, slap, slap, 

“Oooh”

slap, slap, slap, slap

“Oooh,” she cried again.

“That little backside belongs to me. Do you know who you belong to?”

“Yes”

Slap “Oooh,” she cried out again, her voice trembling. 

“Who do you belong to, woman?”

“You sir.” 

I tapped her backside a few more times. She was crying freely now.

“Who does that backside belong to?”

“You, sir” she said in trembling words. 

Slap, slap, slap, slap, slap

“Mmm, ah, ah,” she cried.

Slap, slap, slap, slap

“Oooh.”

“Are you glad you behaved the way you did? Are you glad you were disrespectful?”

“No sir,” she said between gasps. 

I brought down two, hard, heavy strokes: Slap, Slap, “Mmmmm,” she groaned. 

“Are you glad you gave your man that backtalk?” 

“No, sir,” she murmured.

“You may not behave like that. You will be very sorry for your behavior.” 

I treated her to strokes up and down her bottom, to the top of her thighs.

Slap, slap, slap “Aaaah”

Slap, slap, slap “Mmmm, oooh.”

“Are you sorry you backtalked to me?”

Through a quivering voice, she managed, “Yes, sir.”

“You better be.”

Slap “Mmmm”

Slap “Ah”

Slap, slap, slap, slap, slap “Mmm.” She sniffled through her tears.

I gave her upturned bottom a few light taps.

“How do you need to talk to your man?”

She sniffed, but didn’t answer.

Slap “Mmm” Slap “Mmm” Slap, Slap, Slap “Ahhh”

“How do you need to talk to your man?”

“Respectfully.”

Slap, slap, slap, slap, “Mmmm”

slap, slap, slap, slap “Oooh” 

“How do you need to talk to your man?”

She sniffled through her tears, “Respectfully.”

I showered down more strokes from the top of her bottom down to her sit spot. 

Slap, “Aah” slap, slap, 

slap, slap, “Mmmm”

slap, “Ah”

slap, slap “Ah”

She began sliding forward out of position, so put my hands on her waist and brought her back to form, her legs straight, arms reaching down on the stool, and bottom raised.

“Keep that butt in the air, like that.”

I gave her a few more taps.

“Do you know who you belong to?

“You sir.”

I brought a hard one down across her backside, Slap!

“Are you going to be a good girl from now on?”

Through tears, “Yes, sir.”

Slap “Oooh”

“Are you going to talk with respect from now on?”

Sniff. “Yes, sir.”

Slap

I don’t want to hear any more backtalk out of you, is that clear?” Tap, tap

“Yes, sir.”

Slap

“When I tell you something you need to do it, is that clear?”

Bawling, she managed between heavy breaths, “Yes, sir.”

Slap, “Ah.”

“If I tell you not to argue,” Slap, “You don’t argue, is that clear?”

“Yes, sir,” she spat out through deep breaths.

Slap

“I do not allow that in this house.”

Slap, “Oooh,” Slap

“Are you going to be a good girl?”

Sniff, “Yes, sir,” she said remorsefully, the tears still flowing, and her voice quivering.

Slap, Slap

“You butt belongs to me.” 

Slap

“Mmmmm,” she groaned, sniffling, and still in tears.

“You earned this.”

I have her behind some light taps.

“You promise to be a good girl?”

“Yes, sir,” she managed, still bawling. 

Slap “Aah” 

“You earned that.” 

“I do not want to see that behavior again”

Slap

“Is that clear?”

Slap.

“Yes, sir,” she cried out loudly, this time.

I brought down one more, Slap!

Sniffling

I spoke to her quietly, “You can stand up.”

She stood up slowly, my hands at her waist, with tears flowing. 

“Stand up for me.” I walked her over to the corner, then handed her the instrument of correction to hold onto. “You think about what you learned this evening.”

As she stood in the corner I went back to relax, and do some reading. That is the kind of firmness I find useful to have when I need to give a lesson in respect. It could have been longer, but it was strict and hard. She cried through most of it. Literally she spent under five minutes bent over being strapped, and the lesson will last a very long time. As I would remind her later, most important for her is to watch her attitude, and if I need to give her a verbal warning, listen to those warnings, and get back on the path. If she does this, no more backtalk, and she won’t end up sorrowfully as she did this evening. A sound spanking, however sorrowful, makes self-control and wise choices much easier for her, and establishes a very comfortable communication between us. I enjoy a pleasant, helpful, and obedient wife, and keeping her on the path is a big part of the reason why. She knows that I love her, but she also knows to look to me with respect.

NOTE: Like several recent discipline descriptions, this spanking session was transcribed from a recording of the event. I’m sure many of you reading have had to give a spanking or receive one for too much lip.