When to End a Spanking

One of the most common questions about giving a spanking is when to end it. Even men who are experienced in giving a spanking often simply make a judgment call. Those who are new beginners have less of an idea, and will benefit from sound advice. They naturally do not want to give one which is either an insufficient punishment, or an extreme one. The question of when to end a spanking, like the question of how hard to spank, if fairly subjective, and requires forming a decision based on a number of points. Both of those questions are wrapped up together in understanding what amounts to a fair punishment. Experience giving a spanking, and even making a few mistakes, helps any husband learn when it is best to end the spanking.

I use several indicators to decide when I will end a spanking, and they all work together. It is certain that I may make a mistake from time to time, but I believe I deliver most of my spankings as long as they need to be. The first indicator I use is a general sense, through experience, that the punishment is severe enough for the offense. No punishment I give will be mild. It ought to be long enough that it is a trial to undergo, causes her to regret her actions, and has her wishing it was over. The more serious offenses will ensure I spank for longer and spank harder. I will aim for a thorough enough punishment that her bottom will still be sore several days later. 

My spankings are also long enough that I get through the lecture I plan to give, and through questioning her on her behavior. This alone assures a spanking will not be very short. I have a number of points to get through in my lecture. I impress on her how wrong her bad behavior is, that she knew better, how serious the wrong is, the harm it could cause, and then go over the better behavior I expect in the future, and her need to be submitted fully to me. I may pause a few times during the spanking and lecture, other times I simply lecture as I spank. Any number of those points I may repeat a few times. Some of the answers she needs to give me she may also have to repeat. That means since my spanking will accompany a stern verbal correction of such detail, it will never be a brief one. 

The spanking I give ought to bring her to tears. Not every woman is the same, but most will cry during a firm spanking. When I bring my wife to tears, I spank well past tears, and this is generally best. Do not view tears as a time to stop, but a time when she is realizing better her predicament, and still needs to learn to regret her actions more much fervently. She will have to pour out many more tears. She will have to be more sorrowful than she is. A spanking should leave her knowing her behavior was wrong, and just how serious that is. Her bad behavior will not be tolerated. Spanking her well past tears tells her that and instills it on her soul.

I also look for other signs that the spanking is long enough. My wife may express that verbally, with cries or expressions of sorrow. I will also look for a change in color as I deliver strokes. Over time, with enough strokes, her bottom should be turning bright pink or red. I work for a change of color all over, and may leave some on the top of her thighs, although with less force. Color should be spread around from top to bottom, and on both sides of her behind. That painting will take a while to do. She needs to be aglow.

One major factor in deciding when to end a spanking is to see that she is contrite. A wife should be sorrowful for her actions and also be fully accepting of your lecture and the spanking she is receiving. She accepts she has done wrong. She is fully submissive, and not resisting your correction. I would not stop if I see she is showing me some attitude or otherwise resisting. If there is any ongoing attitude like that during a session, I would either spank longer, of give her a second spanking for showing a bad attitude. Any of that attitude needs to be spanked out of her. 

Some couples use a set number of strokes during a discipline session, and the number of strokes will decide when the spanking ends. It is possible to give a thorough spanking this way, especially if you are experienced, and you know about how many will get the job done, and will be a fair punishment for the wrong. However, I do not do this, and I find it would take away from my own ability to make judgment calls in the moment. It may end up with a correction which is too short, or which leaves her not fully contrite. Sometimes using a set number of strokes is done together with counting strokes, as the wife must say the number of each stroke, and repeat each time that she is sorry for her behavior, and won’t do it again. This method is an attractive way to have a wife participle in the punishment, and learn from it, although it does not require a set number of strokes. One can decide the final length of a spanking another way, while still using this method for a part of the session, if it helps get the message to sink in. 

Don’t expect to come to a perfect understanding overnight. These points are fairly subjective, and you are going to judge them based on what you see, and just make the call. Over time, experience will help you make that call, and you may bring in other methods to decide when to stop as well. If you find one of these methods not useful, you are free not to use it. For example, some wives never come to tears, and others come to tears very late. Either of these could affect when you decide to stop. Other husbands may do shorter lectures during the spanking, so the lecture cannot be such of a guide either. There is not formula, and even if you decide on a set number of strokes per punishment, where you draw that line is up to you. 

It is very important to give a thorough spanking. A woman who is feeling half spanked may not feel she has been punished for her wrong, and she may still feel rebellious towards her husband. A thorough strapping will get those feelings out of her, and leave her knowing her wrong has been repaid, and that she belongs to her man. It will leave her more deeply submissive. She will find it much easier subsequently to respond immediately to her husband, and to obey without resistance. Spanking has got to be a hard experience, and she should regret the behavior that earned her getting stripped and bent over. She should be regretting it every second during the spanking, seconds which will seem to stretch on. Make sure that the discipline you give your wife continues until it has reached its goal.


12 responses to “When to End a Spanking”

  1. DarcyNH Avatar

    As always a very thoughtful article Aron, thank you. I always try to be gracious in accepting my punisments and trust my husband and God to know when it is time to stop. I don’t think much about the signs that they are looking for because I am busy taking the punishment and praying.

    Blessings, Darcy.

    [Comment edited by Aron for content]

    1. aronhusband Avatar

      Thank you for the comment, Darcy. Prayer is one good thing to be doing during punishment, unless your husband requires you be engaged with something else. I hope prayer aids you in learning the lesson. I’m sure prayer would be valuable for others too in the process of receiving correction. I’m glad you have such trust in your husband. Blessings.

  2. readybutnotwilling Avatar

    This is an important topic. Learning the details regarding how to spank is teaching me how to be spanked. Before my husband started punishing me (after many years of being married), I hadn’t been spanked since I was a child. I would have thought, as a spanked wife, that my ideas regarding length and pain of correction and/or maintenance mattered. But, they don’t. Those are my husband’s concerns. Mine are to offer my behind respectfully and learn my lessons, even if my husband decides on a butt burner, or especially if he does. A hot, red, striped bottom helps me become a better wife and woman. I’m so happy that my husband and I are now on this path.

    1. aronhusband Avatar

      I’m glad glad you can learn something from the article from your perspective as a wife. How to handle discipline ultimately comes down to the husband, and the wife needs to put herself fully in the place of learning, and humbly submit to her man’s correction. She needs to bear the punishment her man gives her. She is not in control of those things, and that is a part of why spanking works so well. It sounds like your husband is doing a very good job.

  3. readybutnotwilling Avatar

    Thank you for the compliment to my husband. I agree and told him. He is becoming my sir. He has not required me to call him that yet, but he has told me that he might. He seems to be taking the role of leader and hoh on more and more seriously and I am becoming, little by little, a proper submissive wife.

    1. aronhusband Avatar

      You’re welcome. That’s very good news. I will have my wife address me as “sir” during discipline or during a verbal correction, but I know there are some couples who use it more often than that. It can help to instill the reality in a woman’s mind of her man’s authority. I am confident that submission will grow in your deeply, step by step. Keep working on it. Humble yourself to your man.

  4. Merichelle Avatar

    A responsible man will develop a feeling about how much spanking to give a lady. As my man is a much older he has experience and intuition- but a young man who feels the call to lead a family will find an instinct on how to spank. A normal day-to-day correction will be with the hand, naked on the part to be spanked. I will be in shock and in tears for a lot of the process but try to maintain the position- which is usually standing. My man will usually finish more agressively and with an instrument, but he will take time to comform me when it is over with an amazing embrace, but also with some gentleness as we get back into the daily routine. Possibly there are readers who don’t get it right- maybe a very young man with an older lady at his charge may find the leadership role he is called to more of a challenge- but with experience, the intuition will grow and the household will become more ordered.

    1. aronhusband Avatar

      There are frequently questions about how long a spanking needs to be, and I find a basic set of things to look for works better than just picking a number of strokes. However, there are some husbands who stick to a certain number, and do not stray from it. Since my spankings, and those of other husbands, tend to be long and include some lecturing, they do need a point they are working towards, one which will bring it to a close. Correction can certainly include both the barehand and an instrument. The last one I gave was that way as well. Thank you for your comment.

  5. readybutnotwilling Avatar

    My husband is both a number of years younger than I am and new to spanking. I am impressed by how quickly he took to authority in discipline. Like Merichelle’s husband and Aron both do, he often begins with a hand spanking and switches to an instrument. I appreciate this kind of warm up very much, think it makes a spanking much easier to take, and, in my opinion, doesn’t make it less effective. I’m probably in a sort of honeymoon period as far as receiving correction in this way, but I am, at present, very happy with the security it makes me feel.

    1. aronhusband Avatar

      That’s great. I’m glad that spanking is benefitting you through changed behavior and the security you feel. Some men are naturals when it comes to discipline, and you wouldn’t always guess which ones. Take care.

  6. I just wanted to say I was DD wife and I 100 percent DD marriages I think they would be best for all. I would like to say this to all the women readers: domestic discipline spanking worked for us because I hated the spanking (while being spanked). I worked hard to be the best I could be and avoid another spanking. And I admire my husband for being man enough to give me what I needed. Aron so many of word struck home with me: “No punishment I give will be mild. It ought to be long enough that it is a trial to undergo, causes her to regret her actions, and has her wishing it was over. ” My husband did no warm up spanks just hard from the start and by the 5th or 6th or 7th spank I was wish it was over. But I had many more to go (40, 50 o 60 more spanks).

    One of his goals was often the same as yours– you said: ” I will aim for a thorough enough punishment that her bottom will still be sore several days later.” He liked to see me sitting down very gingerly for several days too. And you said, “The spanking I give ought to bring her to tears.” Going into each spanking, I would tell myself this time I am not going to cry but by the 5th or 6th or 7th spank, I would be bawling like a baby.

    Then these comments of your made me really swallow. ” I would not stop if I see she is showing me some attitude or otherwise resisting. If there is any ongoing attitude like that during a session, I would either spank longer, of give her a second spanking for showing a bad attitude. Any of that attitude needs to be spanked out of her.” I got it both ways, early on more second spanking, then spanked to exhaustion- spanking any fight right out of me. I always had trouble taking a hard spanking so he did me a favor in holding my right hand behind my back with his left hand and putting his right leg over my legs to put me in a leg lock.

    His hard spanking never caused any real damage or harm more than few days of painful sitting. And I want to say he was a very loving, gentle man and very fair man. No one would ever guess he would spank me like he did. I never got a spanking I didn’t deserve and at the same time he didn’t miss an opportunity to spank me if I had broken our family rules. He found it enjoyable to spank me when had broken a rule.

    1. aronhusband Avatar

      That states it very clearly. Thank you, Jelena.

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