The Formidable Smack

Correction within marriage, when it comes to domestic discipline, is mostly done with words, or with a spanking. If convenient, some husbands use writing lines, or differing forms of physical punishment, such as mouth soaping. In the repertoire for a few husbands however, is the quick-as-a-whit smack in the face. It may not seem like a punishment per se, but merely a call to attention. Certainly it is a correction of sorts. In the spanking community in the West there are heavy influences against smacking, and some view it as barbaric, while not viewing a paddling the same way. I occasionally get asked about the smack in the face, and how viable it is, and while I don’t use it, I want to give an overview for those who are interested.

The smack in the face is obviously an immediate reaction to a wife’s very improper conduct. A husband may use it when she clearly steps over the line using terrible language, or brazenly disrespecting him. Oftentimes its effects are immediate. After a loud hand across her face, she stops doing what she was doing. She repents. If her ego was getting inflated, it settles down. If she was being obstinate and not doing what she was told, she drops the resistance and does it. If it was loud mouth she was getting into, she is now quiet. The smack isn’t nearly as harsh as a spanking, but it sends a powerful message, and often ends a problem before it becomes bigger.

The smack used to be much more common in the West, and used to silence a wife when it was needed. A woman who was argumentative, loud, or out of control would get a sound smack or two if she would not listen to reason. If she listens to the smack she can avoid further trouble. It still is very common in other cultures, even expected, as several of our Indian readers have commented. While it does carry a few unique dangers, it seems strange that the tide is against smacking, even among couples who think nothing of smacking a wife’s bottom with a belt. There are legitimate reasons to question its value, but I can see little reason to dismiss or denigrate the formidable smack.

There are advantages and disadvantages of this quick corrective measure. The advantages are that it handles a matter immediately, and requires little time or effort. It lets a wife know with one firm gesture that she has stepped over the line, and often is successful in righting the situation. It avoids a perhaps lengthy, and more difficult punishment that might occur later. Sometimes a smack in the face is simply what gets through to her. The disadvantages, and why I do not use smacking as a correction, are two-fold. Firstly, and most importantly, it can cause danger to strike towards the head. With the eyes, the ears, and the mouth there, there’s a lot of unintended harm which could come. If much force is used, it could also rattle the brain. Secondly, the head is such a personal place, and a place we generally settle our identity, that a strike towards the face or head comes across more as an act of aggression, and less as a punishment. It seems more like a strike against the person, striking at the center of their being. To be fair, men who use the smack, if they are responsible, moderate the force they use, and use care not to cause serious harm. It is a simple smack on the cheek, and when done rightly, causes only a sting, and a very temporary reddening. If misused, of course, it would be far worse.

Similar to the smack, we could bring up the safer “swat” on the behind. In lieu of a spanking on the behind, a quick, hard swat will accomplish the same as a smack does. It turns a woman away from her immediate bad behavior, and provides a warning that there could be worse to come if she continues to misbehave. Obviously, many couples swat in a playful way all the time, so a swat used as a convenient corrective needs to be hard enough to be clear that it’s a corrective. It is meant to be a wake-up call. There is virtually no injury risk as there would be with a smack though, making this option in my mind superior.

A few people even in the spanking community would have hesitation to use a smack in the face because they have issues with consent. They may view that every act needs to come with explicit consent, and since the smack is sudden, it could not possibly meet that standard. For that reason alone, some would reject it. However, I find this a weak objection. That is because a submissive wife has broadly accepted her husband’s authority, and she has broadly accepted his right to discipline her, and otherwise guide and correct her. She would not reject a smack if that were his chosen method. This is just as she has accepted his right to her body, and would not object to a quick squeeze on the bottom, or sudden kiss. For this reason, a smack is not out of place, and falls within the marriage as she knows it. If a couple is not confidant that it does, that’s fine to discuss it, especially in a culture in which many reject it, and in which some never even see one given.

Considering that I find nothing fundamentally wrong with a simple smack, and that many people are able to use it without serious problems, I find it is a legitimate method of correction for a husband to use. It has its role to play in the moment, when other methods are impractical. Like others, it must only be done with good reason, and it must not be too severe. However, its practical benefits are not hard to see, and in some respects, it has advantages over giving a spanking, which takes longer and may leave her sore for days. Much like spanking, some husbands will smack for erotic purposes in bed. They might give their wives a few smacks across the face while making love. Not too hard of course, but enough that they feel it. Wives who know to expect a smack at times learn it is nothing to be afraid of, but it should be respected.


Comments

35 responses to “The Formidable Smack”

  1. dominant male Avatar
    dominant male

    As a man, I wouldn’t hit my future wife in the face. I would NOT however criticize another husband for carrying it out though. My preference is more have your wife strip off all clothing but her wedding ring. Not even a hair tie is allowed on. I’d have her on all fours with her breasts and head to the ground with her bottom up and either caned or paddled to tears

  2. dominant male Avatar
    dominant male

    As someone who is very observant to the world around him conscience of my sin, women/girls should be under rules that regulate their movement, dress, media consumption and speech. My future wife will be greatly loved and protected by the boundaries I have for her. Its better in my view that a woman is meek, obedient and also importantly quiet. We as christians must struggle against the spirit of antichrist. When a society loses its belief in God, traditional gender roles and discipline, it will crumble and burn to the ground. May God protect all of us from deception especially the women in our control.

  3. Well, I know it as a “kind cheek slap,” mostly on a clothed behind but occasionally on the face. It is quick, very fast, open-handed (not back-handed,) and yes, the sound. As to the face, it’s a light yet stingy attention getter! Meant not to be damaging! No black eye, no broken skin, no bloody lips or ear, no eardrum damage, no loose or broken teeth, no jaw fracture, no concussion, no bruising (although redness is a given,) no swelling, and not being knocked on the floor or across the room. It’s a sure fire wake up call to behave or else! A word of caution though: regardless of the severity, a slap to the face is almost always considered assault and battery! Some would even say domestic violence (not CDD) or emotional distress or mental anguish! Thinking about saying it was a love slap, nope, that’s not considered a defense. Even though the Bible says “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also,” again, not a defense! Then one may say, I have consent! But wait, by law, no one can legally consent to bodily harm/voluntary assault!! However, “Reasonableness” does come into play. It’s much easier to say I “reasonably” spanked my wife’s bare bottom than it is to say I slapped or worse smacked her face!! By the way, if someone else sees it, they can independently report it to the authorities. Another thing, for those of you who say I have a signed private written agreement / contract in place, sorry Charlie!, lol, no such thing would ever hold up in today’s (this century) court!!! TOTAL LOVE, TRUST and being private between two consenting adults is all you have. Plus being a submissive faithful obedient accepting discipline kind of woman. Yes, I have had a few surprise kind cheek slaps. It definitely wasn’t by my choice but it got me to straighten up as it was intended to do and “mostly” able to avoid a good bottom blistering!

    1. dominant male Avatar
      dominant male

      Kat, the only reason why I believe that a husband and wife should have a written contract of what the marriage dynamic will entail is so that there will be no surprises. My future wife will have to agree that she will be obedient and submit in all things to me as her husband. This will include she is not allowed to work outside the home. She will rely on me financially, look to me for spiritual guidance and accept spankings. I as her husband will have a right to as many children as i wish. Of course i would like to add that I will always have her take on things and safety in mind. I would also like to add that because I’m a very wealthy man, I have a lot of free time. My wife is entitled to my help and support in all things which will include caring and raising children since that is afull time job in itself. God willing I would love to have 10 children.

      1. submissivewife_05 Avatar
        submissivewife_05

        This comment is so sweet. I’m sure your future wife will appreciate such forethought by her husband. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said

  4. RespectfulWife1 Avatar
    RespectfulWife1

    I’m familiar with the immediate corrective swat to the bottom. It’s humbling in a way thats hard to describe. You’re dressed and going about your day, then suddenly interrupted and chastised without warning, punctuated with a swat on the bottom like a disobedient child. It embarrasses me even when we’re alone, and instantly puts me in a meek and apologetic mindset. He’s done this in public a few times. I know that may sound reckless, but I don’t think it was. My husband is boldly traditional and unashamed of that fact, but he also has very good judgment. I’m sure he chose each of those moments wisely, plus the swat (just one each time) was never so severe that anyone would complain. It was mostly just plain embarrassing in the sense that anyone who saw it knew immediately that I was NOT in charge and that I was required to respect and obey my husband. It deflated my ego instantly, like popping a balloon. I fear and dread that embarrassment, so I guess it was a successful way for him to teach me what consequences look like in public. Wether by words or with a quick swat to the bottom, I know that if I get out of line, he will correct me, no matter where we might be.

    1. A swat on the behind is definitely an attention getter, and is safer than a smack in the face. I can see how it helps you to be respectful to your husband. What a quick solution to bad behavior. Thank you.

      1. Aron, I am very thankful that my husband has never smacked me across the face. That would shame me in a very different way than his usual punishments, I think, and given his strength, he could very easily leave a tell-tale mark where others could see. But as you rightfully said, my body is his to rule, and were I to offer him shamefully improper and brazen disrespect, he could very well decide to get my attention in this manner. Thankfully, he leads me well, and my misbehavior, when it happens, doesn’t rise to this level.

        But like you, Respectful Wife, I am no stranger to a sudden, sharp swat on the bottom. Sometimes, before our girls came along, this might develop into a full blown spanking, given right there in the kitchen or wherever we were when I began to argue with him. More often, it is a quick volley of two to four swats whose suddenness shocks me into closing my mouth and obeying without delay. It was much more common in our early days, when I was still learning the parameters of his rules, but it continues to be instructive now when my husband can see that I am becoming overwhelmed by my emotions. A swift, firm swat (or three) startles me enough to bring tears to my eyes, allowing me to release the arrogant ego (yes, Respectful, like popping a balloon!) that had been threatening to build within me. In this moment, I am quickly humbled and softened, changing my attitude on the spot. It has saved me many times from a longer and far more unpleasant punishment, and for this, I am grateful.

        He has never done this publicly, as we fear the retribution we would experience if others knew the extent to which he practices Christian headship. But I like to imagine a world in which we could be open about such things, and I’m sure this would mean that rather than a whispered warning at a family gathering, I would receive a chaste but corrective smack on the bottom (without, of course, the quick lift of my skirt that he usually performs when we are alone). In that situation, I feel like all eyes would be on me, in support of my husband, as Respectful Wife said, looking to see an obedient shift in my tone or actions. It would add a layer of shame, for sure, but it would also be an exceptionally effective deterrent. I wouldn’t mind others knowing I am spanked from time to time, but I would be very embarrassed to receive an actual swat from my husband in front of people we know. I can imagine running in tears to the bathroom. For now, I am glad that this is a private act within our home.

  5. Dominant male: although I’m sure you can care less what I think, but if I may say, I’ll certainly agree with you on certain things but not on others. I do follow the old strict traditional Lutheran thinking/beliefs.

    I believe we both come from very strict upbringing and see the benefits of a CDD (Lutheran) relationship. I agree with “women/girls should be under rules that regulate their movement, dress, media consumption and speech. … It’s better in my view that a woman is meek, obedient and also importantly quiet.” I guess “quiet” says a mouthful!!!! I surely understand and appreciate speak only when spoken to. Personally experiencing severe spankings, corner time, and wearing a ball gag for at least 12+ hours, reinforced such a rule. Unfortunately, my openness over this weekend probably has earned me another experience! I’ve had several over the years. I’m sure no surprise to anyone! Even if it is so, I’m still glad I had my say, as it’s my beliefs!! I’m sure Aron is tired of my openness too and thank him for schooling me earlier on some of my comments and I’ll remain “quiet” now. Thank you sirs and thank you to the readers. Shhh…

      1. I thought it would be only proper to respond here. And most likely will be my last correspondence on this wonderful site. Aron is exemplary!

        Thank you sir (dominate male!) but no thank you sir! No desire to further communicate. Although similar in some ways, definitely not in many other ways! As previously stated, I believe in deserving punishments (even severe, when necessary,) and I surely receive my share, however, given what you already said, you are looking for someone you can frequently “beat” very harshly!!! I think anyone would honestly fear you!!! And that’s not the way it should be. I’ll make an assumption, fair or not, you canning an adoring submissive woman 100x and then giving her another 100 just because you can!

        Also, I’m a young professional woman who loves her career and driven to make partner one day. All while having a loving, kind, respectable CDD relationship and children that are raised in a proper loving environment.

        Best wishes to all!!

        1. Best wishes to you, Kat. Thank you for visiting.

  6. Kruggerand Avatar
    Kruggerand

    I see three reasons I would not choose a slap to the face. 1) It strikes me (ha ha) as typically an emotional response. It portrays a weakness in self control. A well thought out discipline is more in line with my approach. 2) I see a face slap as confrontational. That it would more likely evoke emotions of escalation rather than humble submission. 3) I see face slapping as feminine. I would expect lil’ Johnny to get his face slapped by his mother for talking back.

    That said, it might be useful in an attempt to interrupt hysterics. But, I have no experience to back up that idea.

    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the subject. The idea is challenging for many people today, but in the past it seems a smack in the face was not uncommon.

  7. I don’t get slapped in the face, not because I demand he doesn’t, he just does not slap my face. However, he does get my attention by doing the following…

    1. He will grab my face with his thumb and finger on either side of my mouth so I see his eyes.
    2. He will swat my bottom hard.
    3. He will (if we are sitting side by side) squeeze right above my knee.
    4. He will grab my upper arm.

    All 4 of these things brings fear and stops my behavior immediately.

    1. Those are some useful additions to the quick corrective measures. Thank you.

    2. RespectfulWife1 Avatar
      RespectfulWife1

      Yes, the upper arm grab! That gets my attention immediately and is a common tool that my husband uses to redirect me.

  8. HappyWifey1 Avatar
    HappyWifey1

    Respectfully I’ve never been smacked on the face. It would probably have a high chance of doing real damage. My husband can give very hard hand spankings and that would be too much across the face. He does make me repeat things during spankings and sometimes holds my head during that but it’s just a firm hold. He also may push my head down during a spanking but again not an actual hit on the face. He doesn’t spank as long, just hard and fast. Punishment spankings are always hard and not anything I want to repeat but I did ask for him to correct me this way and it does help me!

  9. unsure67 Avatar

    I wouldn’t call it abusive, but I do think it needs to be measured, and if it’s going to be used, at least put some clear parameters of how and when it’s going to be used.

    I say this, because bad behavior would warrant a spanking, so for a wife to be slapped it would to be less than that, or at least that’s how I see it. Or how I’m reading it, please don’t be afraid to correct me if I’m wrong.

    But if it’s the first response, instead of being used scarcely, I think it would cause the wife to feel unnecessary dread whenever her husband moves too quickly or raises his hand, and I don’t think that’s something that most people would enjoy to happen in their marriage.

    I think spanking to be much better because it’s way more structured, so the wife has time to reflect, and even if she’s told to bare herself suddenly, it’s not as agressive as I think a slap would be.

    It might be somewhat dangerous because some husbands do get angry when their wife does wrong, and they usually cool down before disciplining (based on some comments that I’ve read), so a husband has to have self control so he doesn’t hit too hard, and has no rings on. (Wedding ring for example, I know most people are right handed, but there is no shortage of left handed people)

    Anyways, I don’t have many complaints, but as some people suggested here, a snack on the butt is obviously safer, and even with a lot of strength nothing much could happen…

    And as someone mentioned, if someone sees you slapping your wife, they could probably report you. Spanking can be more easily explained, since it’s not that uncommon in the west…

    (Especially because a wife has to comply with the process.)

    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Unsure.

  10. ALifeSurrendered Avatar
    ALifeSurrendered

    Respectfully,

    I find slapping the face incredibly disrespectful. Whether you smack a kid or an adult in the face, it is equally disrespectful. To slap your wife across the face… This feels to me like the man has no self control and is acting from anger. I can see spanking, and I would readily accept that, no matter how severe, but if I received a slap across the face, I would not get past that very easily. I would certainly stop speaking, IMMEDIATELY. But I would likely not speak again, unless specific information was required to be spoken, and once I had done so, I would return to absolute silence.

    The idea just goes against everything I can think of. I can’t really explain it.

    1. Thanks for your comment. It is rather subjective how a person takes a smack in the face, and some of it depends on the culture. However, in the past it was significantly more common, and some would deem a smack effective in dealing with a problem in the moment. In some instances it may reflect a lack of self control, but in others it may not. It may be chosen with self control and with purpose. I don’t have a strong opinion about it either way, but I don’t see anything essentially wrong with it.

      1. ALifeSurrendered Avatar
        ALifeSurrendered

        What would be your feeling about being slapped across the face, as a man, by another man, or even a woman? Would you find it disrespectful? This is an honest question, not me looking to argue.

        I could almost see the justification if a woman was really being extremely verbally disrespectful or starting a fight in public, but the latter would get the husband arrested and charged.

        1. I really can’t answer the hypothetical, since I don’t have much experience in that. Men generally fight with their fists or wrestle, rather than slap someone. In general, I believe a slap seems like more of a personal slight, while spanking more of a formal punishment. In the past it definitely was used more for a woman who was out of control, or who had mouthed off in a very serious way. In some respects it gets the problem solved better than a spanking, since it is quick, and perhaps that personal nature helps it to be effective.

          Today, of course, people are more likely to put that kind of punishment in the category of abuse, even when they do not view a spanking that way. Certainly, like spanking, any couple that uses it in today’s society which rejects discipline, should be safe and make sure it is an understood form of correction by man and wife. There is no meaningful harm in the slap, unless it is used in an out of control way, and very often.

    2. Theophilus Avatar
      Theophilus

      Do you think a corrective action to the face inherently shames?

      Consider Numbers 12:14 – And the LORD said unto Moses, If her father had but spit in her face, should she not be ashamed seven days? let her be shut up without the camp seven days, and after that she shall be brought in again.

      1. In general, the face as well as the head are very personal, and signify a person’s dignity. So I agree, it is easy to communicate shame through doing something to that area. Of course, the example you cite from Scripture is also connected to Torah and to ancient culture, and would not necessarily work the same today, and most would deem it a little too extreme. Similarly in Torah, the person who refuse to produce children with his brother’s widow, assuming they had had no children, would also be publicly shamed. In contemporary times, I am reminded of the practice of having a misbehaving child wear a funny hat, so as to deem him a shameful person in some way. It seems to communicate shame more strongly than other actions. The face represents our being much more than any other part of our body.

      2. ALifeSurrendered Avatar
        ALifeSurrendered

        I just now saw your reply to my comment, Theophilus.

        I can see that “corrective action” to the face would be inherently shameful, in a disrespectful sort of way.

        You mention the passage in Numbers, and it sounds as though such an act as a man spitting in his daughter’s face would indeed be shameful, and from the sounds of it, would have made her unclean (hence the need to be kept outside the camp for seven days). One cannot really go by the ways of the Israelites in the Torah, though, unless one intended to be bound by all of the laws, which would include, if I recall correctly, all women having to be excluded from cities and their homes during their time of the month and for weeks after the birth of each child.

        Many things are mentioned in the Bible that are NOT commands, and are not acceptable to God. Examples of this would be slavery and the keeping of multiple wives.

        The use of physical discipline, however, would not seem to go against biblical principles, based upon many different verses in many different chapters/books.

        The idea of submitting myself to my husband for punishment is unpleasant, but doesn’t stir the absolute revulsion that the idea of slapping my face does. As I stated above, that would impact me at a deeper level than just an impact on my face. It would be devastating. And unforgivable.

        1. Those are all good points, Surrendered. We don’t have to do everything which the Bible describes. We don’t follow every passing example of human behavior. However, I would note that both Old Testament and New endorse slavery, and the New Testament even commands servants to obey their masters. Paul sends a slave back to his master (a practice actually prohibited in the Old Covenant), advising the master to treat the slave as a brother in Christ. Scripture DOES regulate slavery in a way to make it more humane, and outlaws kidnap slavery entirely, but there is nothing essentially wrong with the practice.

          In fact, the slave himself is benefited by the relationship, gaining necessary work and resources for his life because he works for his master. Slavery would also be much more reliable and long-term work than employment today, as employers could get rid of you next week, you’d be out of a job, and they wouldn’t remember you for a second. Much of so-called human trafficking today is just people who have agreed by their own choice to go work in a place for long enough to pay back the people who brought them to the job, and they definitely want to be there. That kind of thing shouldn’t be under the table and run by mafias, but should be normal and allowed. It benefits all involved. Something to think about.

          1. ALifeSurrendered Avatar
            ALifeSurrendered

            A lot of human trafficking is sexual slavery. Although it’s true that these people often enter into the situation by choice (they want to go somewhere they can’t afford to go), they are not well provided for. Many young men and women (as well as boys and girls) that enter into these circumstances and end up in the sex trade. The average life span of these unfortunate people is seven years before they either overdose or get killed for someone’s pleasure.

            Being a servant in a household would be one thing, but one could hardly think that being worked to death as can be the case in the modern slave trade would count as advantageous to anyone.

            There certainly could be situations in which such a thing could be good, but not the way it is today, as you pointed out, under the control of the criminal cartels.

          2. Sure, prostitution is another issue really, since it is immoral to begin with, and carries its own inherent dangers to begin with. I am speaking of licit work. People from all over the world see some advantage in it, even though it’s technically slavery, since it brings them to a country they want to be in, and provides them some money, some of which will go to them and their family, beyond what they have to pay back to the people who bought them. Plenty of Asian restaurant workers like that.

            Certainly if that kind of arrangement were accepted by law, and had some legal regulations, it would be much safer and more humane than it currently is. Yet people continue to choose to enter into that kind of relationship even when illegal. As I pointed out, it often has much more job stability than you’d have through regular employment, where in some states they literally can fire you without reason, and they do. They’ll just replace you with someone else. Slavery is not the big baddie people have made it out to be, except in its more abusive forms.

        2. Theophilus Avatar
          Theophilus

          Surrendered, I agree. You expressed the point of my comment very well.

  11. Oh no, I am very strongly opposed to the idea of smacking someone across the face. As you say, it can cause collateral damage to the body, in particular risking neck pain from the recoil, a perforated eardrum, an eye injury from an errant ring or fingernail. I happily submit to my husband and, whilst I certainly don’t like getting spanked, I know that it will not do me any lasting damage. The same cannot be said of slapping to the face, which does risk further injury.

    Additionally, it feels really quite disrespectful and just over the top. Use words, use a warning swat to the bottom, use a full spanking if necessary. But slapping faces is where I would draw a hard line. It also just feels far less controlled and more like something someone would do in anger, rather than as a means of measured and controlled discipline.

    1. Thanks for your comment. Those definitely are some of the drawbacks of smacking in the face, and reasons why many don’t do it. Some who use smacking would claim that they are careful about what they do, but I believe in many cases people are not. Spanking definitely is safer, but that has to be done carefully as well.

  12. PatriotInPearls Avatar
    PatriotInPearls

    I cannot and will not speak for other women, but if my husband ever decided to slap me in the face, it would wound me deeply in my spirit. I’d feel rejected by him, not loved. It would break my heart in a way I doubt I’d recover from. With 100% confidence, I can say he would never do it.

    Scripture tells husbands to dwell with their wives according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel (1 Peter 3:7).

    As others have said, I have no problem with being spanked for wrongdoing, but a slap in the face would be damaging to me in a way I can’t adequately express with words.

  13. I personally wouldn’t slap my wife in the face unless it was a very serious offense like blasphemy or outright insults being said by her. I would like to add that for a quick correction, 4 or 5 hard hand swats to her butt will probably get her back in line. Being stern and not yelling is a way to bring an unruly wife back into the submissive role she was meant to have.

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