Description of a Discipline with Resistance

One thing you must know is that at times you will give spankings for things which are a judgment call. What amounts to bad attitude, or disrespect is not always so clearly defined, so men will be the ones to clarify the matter, and punish when necessary. I don’t worry too much about judgment call spankings, because even if I have erred on the wrong side, the spanking still has a good lesson attached that my wife will need to work on, and she’s certainly gotten out of spankings before because I erred on the other side. I go into a correction which is a judgment call confidently, and with the same purpose of any spanking. 

I recently had to spank my wife for such a judgment call, and in the end, it turned out I was glad that I did. It was not for a brazen violation such as insult or disobedience, but rather for small continual steps that way. I had been noticing more and more backtalk from her, as well as argument when I had already told her what needed to be done. These are things I do not let grow and turn into anything worse. I address them with words first, which I had done when I saw she was wanting to argue so much. When I saw that pattern continue, I decided she would have to go over my knee, and work on her attitude that way. I am not going to let my home slide into one in which a wife is free to disrespect her husband, and who regularly finds ways to disagree. It is a poor stereotype of marriage. It is even what some people expect marriage to be, but it does not have to. I expect my wife to answer gently, respectfully, and cease arguing when I have told her what we will do. Once things get far away from that, I will steer her on the right path with a spanking.

I called to my wife in the evening, and I told her I’d been seeing too much arguing and backtalk from her. I am tired of it. It is not acceptable, and she knows it, and I would be having “a talk” with her about that poor behavior. That means I was going to spank her. My wife thought about it for a few moments, and I could tell she was thinking back. She asked me to clarify. Every time I talk with you about something recently, you want to argue, or answer back. You do not accept what I tell you without my having to be firm and end the discussion. That is too much. You know I do not accept that kind of attitude. I need you to listen to me and do as I say. You know you’ve been doing that a lot lately, don’t you? She was quiet again for a moment, yes I have. I wasn’t trying to argue though. 

If it goes on that long it’s too much, I said. If I have told you what we’re going to do, then it needs to end. You know that right? Right, she nodded. I’ve talked to you before about this, correct? Yes. 

I’m not going to hear that from you anymore. It’s over. Take off your clothes and get over my knee. 

Can I ask one thing? 

Sure, I said, sensing she would likely be trying to get out of her spanking.

Aren’t I allowed to add my thoughts, or have any say?

Of course you are and you know that. But we’re not talking about that. I listen to what you say all the time. But you know you’ve been arguing with me, and you have not listened when I told you it needed to stop. 

I could tell she was trying to position herself as being judged wrongly, and present me as being overly hard with her, which I am not. She was trying to make the situation one in which she just has no say in the marriage, and I never hear what she has to say. I have heard it before, and I can smell it a long way off.

You earned this by your behavior, and you know I expect very differently from you. I am not letting that behavior go. You’re going to face the consequences and learn a lesson tonight.

You’re too hard on me, she said. crying. Why do I always get punished? 

You are facing the consequences that you earned, and you know that. I do not accept your disrespect. 

Fine, she said angrily, and threw herself over my knee. Punish me! 

I immediately said, No. That’s not how it goes here. I slowly lifted her off of my knee and said, you’re going to stand in the corner until you calm down. 

Putting both hands on her waist I walked her over there. I am not going to listen to your bad attitude, I said, as she stood there facing the wall. That is immature, and I expect better from you. I smacked her bottom a few times to send the message home. You are going to calm down and then accept your correction the right way. You’re not a small child. You earned this and you’re going to have to face it. If you don’t like it you should have thought about that before when your chose to disrespect your man. I gave her butt another firm couple of slaps, and went back to do some reading, while she stood in the corner.

When I decided she was ready to receive her correction, probably a half hour or so, I had her come and kneel before me. 

How do you need to receive your correction, I asked her. I need to accept it and learn from it, sir.

How should you speak to your husband? With meekness, gentleness, and respect, sir.

Have you been doing that?

She was silent a moment. 

No, sir.

Do you understand you earned this spanking.

Yes, sir.

I tapped my leg twice. Get over my knee.

I picked up my loopy and began giving her continual firm swats on the behind. 

I do not accept arguing, I do not accept backtalk, and I do not accept disrespect. Is that clear?

Yes, sir. 

I worked up and down her bottom, and to the top of her thighs, delivering red stripes to every spot I could land on. She squirmed on my lap, and held back a few squeals. You earned every one of these with your behavior, I said, bringing one stinging stroke down after another. 

Now I had been planning on giving my wife a fairly moderate spanking from the start. That was because the punishment was a judgment call, and not an obvious severe offense. However, with the attitude she showed towards me during her session, I decided it would be a long one that she would remember.

How do you speak to your man? I asked, still landing the strokes down quickly on her behind.

With gentleness, meekness, and respect, sir.

I repeated myself, still reddening her backside. How do you speak to your man?

With gentleness meekness, and respect, sir.

I asked her about five more times, and she managed to get the words out each time, sometimes while grimacing from the stinging strokes, sometimes boldly and loud. 

Are we clear on what your attitude needs to be?

Yes sir.

Are you sorry for the attitude you’ve been giving me?

Yes, sir

I stopped bringing down the loopy for a few moments. 

I do not accept arguing from you when I am correcting you, do I? 

No, sir. 

You know very well not to do that, correct?

Yes, sir. 

You showed me during this session that I made the right judgment call. You have proven to me that I was correct. I had been seeing a bad attitude from you, and it needed to be dealt with. I made the right decision and we’re going to take care of that attitude tonight. I was going to give you a fairly short correction, but you’ve gotten yourself a long one.

I heard her sigh. 

Did you earn this? 

Yes, sir? 

Are you sorry resisting your husband?

Yes, I’m sorry.

You should not have done that, and you got yourself a lot more trouble. This is exactly what you have earned.

I returned to letting the loopy dance up and down her behind, making sure to color it brightly all around. Just a quick, firm motion with my forearm, and some of the wrist, and each stroke gave a lick of fire on her backside. 

This does not feel good does it? 

No sir.

Do you like ending up like this?

No sir.

I held her firm as she squirmed a few more times, and let out a few muffled cries into the pillow.

I expect you to listen to your man, and to do as he says. Is that clear.

Yes, sir. She cried out quickly, between gritting her teeth again, as the strokes landed relentlessly. 

When I tell you what you need to do, during a correction, or any time, what do you need to do.

I need to do what you tell me, sir. 

What do you need to do?

I need to do what you tell me, sir.

I turned up the heart on the strokes a bit, and landed a few very hard ones across her buttocks. 

Am I going to see that attitude from you anymore?

No sir.

Do I accept arguing from you?

No, sir.

Do I accept disrespect?

No, sir.

Are you very clear on how you need to speak to your man.

Yes, sir.

I ended her correction like I usually do, “I do not, want to see that from you, again,” as I gave her several hard, and final, smacks.

I helped her up slowly after her spanking and walked her to the corner. Her behind must have been throbbing by this point. 

I know that was hard, I said quietly, but this was something we had to take care of. Things will be better. You think about what you learned tonight, and then we will talk.

After her time in the corner, I explained again why I had chosen to correct her. I also explained that her attitude at the start of the correction confirmed my suspicions, and let me know I’d corrected her rightly. 

You’ve been holding onto a bad attitude in your heart. You have resented me telling you what to do. You have been walking around with disrespect on your heart, and that’s why I had been seeing so much backtalk from you. You know you can always talk to me, and you know that I care what your thoughts are. But you may bot argue or disrespect me. 

Can you tell me what kind of attitude I’m going to be seeing?

I will answer you gently, and I will not argue with you. I’ll do what you say without fighting. I’ll accept your correction.

Are you confident about that?

Yes, sir. 

Remember, if you are not sure if you’ve gone too far, you listen to my words. If I am telling you its over, or if I’m telling you that’s enough, then it is the time to stop. If you listen to me, you won’t get in trouble, and we won’t have to do this again. I was hard with you tonight, but I was hard for your own good. The kind of attitude you’ve been showing can harm our marriage and our household. That has to be in the past. It was a hard lesson, but I know you can learn from it, and everything will be better. 

I concluded in expressing my confidence in her as well, and my appreciation for all she does. I know you can do it honey. I gave her a kiss, and had her come sit on my lap, and held her close. We’re all done. I know you will do better.

Even though my wife was upset about having to get spanked, I know she understood what the problem was, and that she really would work on turning it around. I know that even when it’s hard to accept being spanked, she is working on inside what she did wrong, and trying to face it. She just needs motivation, and my firm stance that will not tolerate her excuses, or attempts to deflect responsibility. Once I am through with her, she knows she’s going to have to respond, and do things differently, which she does. I steer her on the right path, so she has to face it and learn. 

Like other corrections I’ve given her, I saw good fruit in a short time. I saw that pattern of talking back and arguing diminish after her spanking, and I saw her concerted effort to accept what I told her without resistance. My calm verbal corrections returned to being effective with her, and steered her well. While I was uncertain about the spanking to start, I was grateful I had decided to give it to her, because she showed me that she needed it. Sometimes that’s all a woman needs, even when there is not a clear and brazen offense. She needs to be taken aside, let go of her resistance, humbled, and spanked until she knows whom she belongs to. Those small toxins of resentment, or hardness, or arrogance that build up over time towards her man get spanked out of her, and she is beautifully soft afterward. I am greeted by an obedient, and helpful wife, who is easier to manage, and glows with happiness. 


Comments

16 responses to “Description of a Discipline with Resistance”

  1. His-bride-Lauren Avatar
    His-bride-Lauren

    Most of my sessions over my husband’s lap are for similar reasons. I very rarely outright misbehave, as in clear defiance, insults, undesirable behaviour, etc. Usually it’s more a build up of lots of little things that earn me a smack.

    It sounds like you are very fair and reasonable when deciding if your wife needs to be disciplined. I think if is the sort of thing that has to be nipped in the bud before it grows legs. Sometimes I don’t even realise I have this accumulation of disrespect, until my husband smacks if out of me and I literally feel lighter afterwards. Other times I know I’m doing wrong, but it’s like I’m not in control of my own mouth, lol, because the cheeky comment is out before I even know what’s happening. Very, very rarely, I know full well I am being dreadful and I do it anyway. Either because I am angry about something and trying to take it out on my poor husband, or else because he lets something else slide and so I decide to push the boundaries, to see how far I can take it. This is very rare and also very immature. My mum says I always used to “push things too far” when I was 5, so I suppose I haven’t changed much in 20 years!

    In any of the above scenarios (intentional, accidental or buildup of disrespect), the answer is the same… As much as it, literally, pains me to say it, I have been cured of all three by feeling my husband’s paddle set fire to my bottom.

    One part of your post I cannot relate to is how your wife is able to largely suppress her cries and also can speak coherently during a smacking. After about 20 swats, I am a blubbering mess. No matter how hard I try to keep my composure, I always end up wailing like a banshee. If my husband asked me a question, I would not physically be able to answer him. I suppose that I need to work on my self control, to be more like your wife. Although my husband quite likes reducing me to a puddle, because he knows it is highly effective. He has said before that me losing my self control and screaming like a child who is being smacked is the ultimate humbling experience for me and yields good results. It certainly is mortifying afterwards, when I recover and realise what a fool I have made of myself.

    It does work though, because I realise how childish I have been in my disrespect towards my husband too, so I always end up being extremely meek and contrite afterwards. I need to be knocked down a peg or two at times, but I don’t realise how much I needed it until after the fact. My husband can see it far long before I can and it’s not until after I’ve been punished that I realise just how disrespectful I’ve been to him. Hindsight is 20/20 (no pun intended!).

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Thank you for your comment. It is important a husband does not allow an accumulation of poor attitude, and disrespect. It can allow those things to become normal, and his wife may feel justified in acting that way. It is best to put an end to it quickly.

      As far as remaining calm during a spanking, my wife has always been good at staying in position, and remaining calm enough to reply to my questions. It is not easy, but it is a matter of clam and self control. She almost always cries while she gets spanked, but she can still speak when she needs to.

      I am glad you are able to see the problem in your own actions after you are disciplined. With time, you will spot those problems early, and not need a correction.

  2. I feel like at least half of the spankings I end up giving are judgment call spankings. It’s typically an accumulation of little thing’s showing that a pattern of poor behavior is developing that eventually needs to be nipped. In my wife’s case it’s typically irresponsibility. Being told to take care of common sense thing’s that may and usually eventually do lead to damage or danger.

    It is very rare that she ever outright does something like direct disobedience or disrespect. Instead it’s a pattern of not taking words to heart or not taking care to remember important thing’s over and over. At some enough is enough and she will be spanked to finally drive the point home.

    I have found this to be highly effective in helping her to finally overcome nagging issues she just cannot seem to resolve on her own. A stern lecture and good whipping flips some sort of switch and suddenly things are changed. As much as she fears a spanking and begs for it to be over, she will be the first to tell you that it hashelped her tremendously amd made her significantly happier.

    I always tend to err towards letting thing’s go and not giving spankings whenever possible. I’m a very laid back, live and let live sort of man, but this has not served us well. Every time I give a spanking such as I dislikes having to do it, I am glad that I did.

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      I very much appreciate your comment, Oswald. A husband has to be observant of those problems and nip them in the bud. It can be much easier to forgo a spanking, but often that allows the problem to grow. Spankings are very effective in getting the message to sink in, and I see results from giving them very soon after. Take care.

  3. sophiesmarket Avatar
    sophiesmarket

    I feel like the only thing my husband and I struggle with in our marriage is sex. He’d probably want it every day if it were up to him. The thing is, he wants me to want it that often and I just don’t. I homeschool and I have a lot of children and I’m just tired. So then my husband says we’ll wait until I’m in the mood, and he grows more resentful by the day. It’s a terrible cycle and I don’t know how to get out of it. Advice, please.

    -Sophie

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Hello Sophie, I would just do it to make him happy, because that’s what he wants. Even if you’re tired, having sex is not that much work. I believe over time you will find more desire to do it, since pleasing your husband will make you happy. That is about the most central thing in marriage, being one physically. You are the only one in the world who can do that for your husband, so you ought to know that sex is something special, even if you are tired. Fill your heart with a desire to please him.

    2. His-bride-Lauren Avatar
      His-bride-Lauren

      Hi Sophie, I do sympathise. My husband has a very high sex drive and I can struggle to keep up. But I would implore you to try harder. An important part of marriage is expressing your love physically. You have to make your husband feel attractive and desirable. Show him that you are still in love with him, you still want him physically and emotionally. You want to connect with him. There is nothing so intimate as sex, and the denial of it will be having a major impact on your husband’s self confidence.

      Honestly, and I do realise it is not my place to comment on his headship, but I am very surprised by his lack of decisive action to date. He has not only the right, but also the duty, to assert himself and remind you that sex is something that, as his wife, you should be willingly offering (and I do mean offering, not sighing “ugh, fine then, if you insist”, but actively expressing your desire for him and sometimes initiating sex yourself or at the very least showing enthusiasm when he initiates it).

      I know you’re tired. We’re all tired! It’s a tiring world we live in. But you have to push past it. I expect you will find that you enjoy it a lot more than you think you will (and he should be making sure that you are also getting pleasure). Also, without being vulgar, I find that climaxing makes me so relaxed that I sleep far better and feel more restful the next day. So avoiding it through tiredness is counterproductive.

      I do get where you’re coming from – I have moments where I can’t believe my husband is in the mood again already, but at the end of the day, I am flattered that he finds me so desirable that he craves that connection with me. It is a beautiful thing to share with your husband and it is something that he needs. And I bet you find that you need it more than you think too (I certainly did).

      1. aronhusband Avatar
        aronhusband

        Thank you for your words of encouragement and advice.

      2. sophiesmarket Avatar
        sophiesmarket

        Lauren, it’s a struggle because my husband will see that I’m not in the mood. Even if I go along with it, sometimes he doesn’t want to continue just knowing that I’m not wanting it 100%. Sex also has the opposite effect on me in that it keeps me awake for hours, so he feels bad initiating right before we go to bed. The other option is trying to have sex while the kids are still awake, which has its own challenges obviously. If you have any ideas for decisive action my husband could take, I’ll happily pass it along to him.
        -Sophie

        1. His-bride-Lauren Avatar
          His-bride-Lauren

          Hi Sophie. I’m not a HoH, so of course I am not an expert, but I will share some things that my husband and I came up with when we discussed your comment. FWIW, we have a mismatch in libidos too – he wants sex at least every day (he’s 25, so I guess this is normal, I don’t know). I would be happy with it 3 or 4 times a week. So I do sympathise with your difficulties in keeping up with your husband. But it is important to try. Our ideas are:

          – look at why you are so awake for so long after sex. Does it raise memories of trauma, is it physically painful, is there any associated issue keeping you awake. If so, addressing these with your doctor may help you. Is it as simple as his pace? Can he change his rhythm to be more slow and steady, rather than hard and fast? Of course he’ll speed up the intensity towards the end, but maybe a more relaxed pace before that will help you feel more comfortable afterwards and get a better sleep

          – does he prioritise your pleasure too? If he launches straight in to sex, without any sort of foreplay, then it’s bound to feel like a chore for you. He has to use his hands and mouth to bring you your own pleasure and to get you in the mood for the sex that’s to follow. If he just launches straight in, not only is it not enjoyable for you, but you can also feel a bit used, that he’s only thinking of himself.

          – are you intimate in other ways? Eg massages, holding hands, kissing, cuddling? All of these things make me feel so much more connected to my husband and they make me feel more comfortable being intimate in other ways ie sexually. Again, it also helps me feel truly valued and loved, rather than just used for sex

          – is he ever romantic? Does he ever treat you to a date night, with candles and wine and talking? Does he buy you flowers or chocolates or some clothes that he would like you to wear?

          – ramp up the anticipation. Send flirty text messages, wear sexy underwear for him, be more tactile with kisses and cuddles. Grab a minute or two away from the kids and touch each other intimately, just briefly. By that night you’ll be in the mood, after all the teasing and stolen touches

          – have a conversation about your expectations of each other. He is providing for you and guiding you. He is the head of your family and the man you love and trust with your life. You love him and have willingly accepted his leadership. So why don’t you want to make him happy? You know what he wants – an enthusiastic, passionate, keen sexual partner. So why are you not doing that? Even if you’re not in the mood, why are you not prioritising his needs? And not just “fine then, if you must”, but actually showing your passion for him through this intimate act. I understand life can get in the way, but this man is your lover, your husband and your leader. Surely you want to bring him pleasure? Are you not flattered that he craves your body and your touch? Are you not honoured that you can be one physically with this man to whom you’ve devoted your life? If the answer is no, then maybe there is an issue with his headship more generally. Is there an issue that is stopping you from showing him the love and affection you have for him? If you don’t respect his leadership, then you may not be able to see the importance of this physical partnership. If there is an issue with his headship, then obviously Aron would be better placed to advise you.

          If there is no problem with his leadership and it’s simply a case that you can’t be bothered making the effort for him, then you may need what my husband calls a “little attitude adjustment” ie a lecture and a session with the paddle to remind me that I need to show my respect for him in and out of the bedroom. Of course it is important that he takes care of your pleasure too, to further incentivise you, but ultimately you ought to prioritise his needs and show him the physical connection he craves. It is an extremely important part of your duties and is essential to make him feel loved and wanted by you.

        2. aronhusband Avatar
          aronhusband

          Hello Sophie, I appreciate that you are willing to fulfill your responsibility to your husband in bed, even when you aren’t really feeling like it. I understand it’s not always possible to just turn on the desire switch and desire it, so your husband may think your lack of enthusiasm is disrespectful. I believe if you put your heart into it, and take pride in pleasing your husband, you can indeed find pleasure, even when you are tired. I’d also suggest, if he does not already, that your husband make efforts to please you, and to get you excited when in the moment you are not. Sometimes it is the man’s efforts that helps a wife fully and sincerely enjoy the intimacy.

          1. His-bride-Lauren Avatar
            His-bride-Lauren

            I agree, I think to have a successful sex life when there are mismatched libidos at play takes effort from both parties. The man has to make a physical effort and ensure he is making it enjoyable for his wife, like you say. The woman has to make more of a psychological effort and really think about the beauty of such an intimate connection with the man she loves. The closeness and unity of it. She has to remind herself how incredible it is that SHE is the only person in the world who can fulfil his desires and how flattering it is that he craves her physically, out of all the people in the world. I think once she frames it that way, she can start to feel more desire. And in the meantime, fake it till you make it. And I don’t mean fake orgasms, of course, but just if you have 10% enthusiasm, make it seem you have 40% enthusiasm. Without being vulgar, sometimes the act of pretending to be slightly more into it than I am, actually succeeds at getting me a lot more genuinely excited. You end up tricking your own brain and body into really getting into it.

  4. Hello Aron,

    You say your wife is trying to portray herself as having no say in your marriage. But isn’t that literally true?

    A wife “has a say” when her husband chooses to hear her, but when he doesn’t, she must stop whatever she wanted to say.

    She’s like a consultant. She can give an opinion when asked. She can offer an opinion, but only if he chooses to allow it.

    Cerah

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      No, it is not literally true. My wife has “a say” in our marriage through some of the things you describe in your own comment; by being a consultant, as it were. She can share her thoughts and opinions. She can give advice. She has a husband who cares to provide her needs, and also at least some of her wants. I have taken her advice before, and most of the time I find it is good and useful to me. Naturally I make the decisions. That does not mean my wife has no say, but that her say does not amount to the decision. That belongs to the husband.

      I regularly listen to my wife, so I know for a fact when an argument like that, while trying to get out of a punishment, is inaccurate. It is naturally to try and make yourself look put-upon if you don’t want to own up to your behavior, and accept your punishment. That is what she was doing during her session, and I do not accept that at all. She finally did own up, and after her spanking, she changed that behavior. Nor have I heard any more about her not having “a say” since she only brought it up to complain about getting spanked. It’s a ploy when she’s in trouble, and little more.

  5. Hello Aron,

    From merriam-webster.com/dictionary/say

    “1
    : an expression of opinion
    had my say
    2
    : a right or power to influence action or decision
    especially : the authority to make final decisions”

    I perceive that you are thinking of definition 1, and I am thinking more of 2.

    Blessings and grace,

    Cerah

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Certainly. There is no question of who makes the decisions in our marriage, as we have both been committed to our roles continually, and my wife accepts that I make the decisions. She was trying to present that she never gets to say anything, which is false. It is a distortion of reality she made because she didn’t like getting in trouble and having to face the music.

      That’s why I don’t hear anything about that since then, and I didn’t hear it before then either. My wife knows she is cherished, and she regularly shares her thoughts and feelings with me. We have good communication. When she says something like that during discipline, I can spot immediately it is a tactic to get out of trouble, and it is very immature.

      The only times she has shared something with me that got me to cancel a spanking was when it was a piece of information I didn’t know before, and which truly changed the matter. But that hardly ever happens. Typical excuses don’t get her anywhere, and she’s going to get spanked. I was very happy with the results of this spanking. She really had one coming, and it put poor behavior in the past.

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