Spank Your Wife

Instrument Ratings

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by

aronhusband
in

There is only so much to say about the instruments used in spanking. I have given a general overview of instruments before, and written a number of different instrument highlights, including on the belt, the paddle, the loopy, and the cane. I’ve written on hand spanking before as well. I write this piece as a general evaluation of instruments, and to rate each one according to its strengths and weaknesses. I will include a rating for harshness, for ease of use, for volume (yes sound is a concern), for danger, alongside a brief comment about its possible limitations when it comes to what position you can use it for. 

Much choice of instrument is personal. Husbands do have their preferred ones, for matters of taste even. Much love goes out to hand spanking for its personal nature, and to the belt; for its look, feel, and mystique. But husbands are choosing based on some objective factors as well, not the least of which is the matter of how hard the discipline should be, and whether a spanking can be given in quiet. Further thought is given to safety, as some instruments are more easily misused than others. However, if you prefer to spank OTK, then basically the shorter and firmer instruments will be your only options.

I hope this little set of ratings is helpful to you. I know that I have probably left out a few of someone’s favorite instruments, and that more insight could be given than I’ve tried to give here. There is nothing on the bathbrush, wooden spoons, or cords, for example. However, I believe the ratings cover most of the common ways to spank, and some of the biggest concerns. 

The ratings for the belt are for the heavy, thick kind. Those for the loopy are also for the heavier variety, which has hard material in the center. 

H = Harshness

E = Ease of use

V = Volume

D = Danger

L = Limitations in positions

H, E, V, and D are rated 1-5, with 5 being the strongest. L will be a comment.

Hairbrush

H: 3
E: 4
V: 3-4
D: 2
L: Can be used either OTK, or in various positions. 

Belt

H: 3-4

E: 3

V: 4-5

D: 3

L: Easiest when used standing up, but can be used for OTK a bit awkwardly

Strap

H: 4
E: 3
V: 4-5
D: 3
L: Best used while standing 

Small Paddle

H: 4
E: 4
V: 5
D: 3
L: Can be used in any position 

Large Paddle

H: 4-5
E: 3
V:5
D: 4
L: Best used while standing 

Loopy

H: 3-4
E: 4
V: 1-2
D: 2
L: Any position 

Cane

H: 5
E: 1-2
V: 1-2
D: 5
L: Should be used while standing

Riding Crop

H: 4-5
E: 4
V: 1
D: 3-4
L: Can be used in any position 

Hand

H: 1-2
E: 5
V: 3-4
D: 1
L: Can be used in any position, but OTK is easiest

Feel free to suggest other instruments, or describe them in the comments.

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27 responses to “Instrument Ratings”

  1. Trying Avatar
    Trying

    Thank you for this blog. My husband (35) and I (26) have been married for almost a year and practice DD. I am looking for advice.

    I am so tired of getting spanked. My husband spanks me with his hand, belt, a wooden spoon. It feels like I cant do anything right and I am spanked so often. In the time we have been married I have been spanked nearly every week.

    I know I lose my temper sometimes, and sometimes I do talk back. But I am trying. I really am to be a good wife. It is just hard.

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Hello Trying, Thank you for your comment. I hope this website helps you both in learning more about marriage, and about how discipline works. I’m glad you have discipline functioning already in your home.

      I would suggest, if you do not like getting spanked as often as you do, that you first look at your own attitude and behavior. You likely have something to work on there. Surely if you are losing your temper at your husband, or showing other signs of bad attitude and disrespect, it is not surprising that you end up getting spanked. Work on that behavior first. Dedicate yourself to bettering it. You have not been married very long, so it is natural that you still have some learning to do. I would drop the attitude of complaining and do your best to conform to the behavior your husband expects of you. Your speech should be gentle and respectful to him. You should be obedient without complaint. You need to be responsible with your duties.

      I’m sure you do plenty of things right which he highly values, but you still need to drop some wrong behavior. Be meek and humble and willing to learn. Feel free to write me at my e-mail if you have further concerns.

      1. Trying Avatar
        Trying

        Yes sir.

        1. Jess Avatar
          Jess

          My husband rewards me often. I find that this helps to keep me encouraged in my work and feel valued as his wife. He rewards me in different ways depending on the circumstances but one thing he promised me is affection will never be used as a reward or withdrawn as a punishment. Typical rewards are an extra date night, allowing me to splurge on new clothing (that he approves), or allowing sweets that we usually limit.

          1. aronhusband Avatar
            aronhusband

            Thank you for your comment, Jess. Rewards are something that can go along with discipline, and be helpful in encouraging good behavior.

        2. HoH Husband Avatar
          HoH Husband

          Trying

          It would appear that you are in fact trying. Your reading of this site and your post and response to Aaron all reflect that.

          I am a HoH and have a wife close to your age and near the same age gap in me/ her as you. Except she is 31, not 26. But for all purposes “the same”. I am in my 40s.

          Ive known my wife for 15yrs and she approached me just after she turned 18. We met in a work capacity. She has always naturally been submissive, that is her demeanor. However she was lacking the Obedient part and being completely submissive. We very recently moved fully into D/s husband/ wife dynamic. She was her own woman in the beginnings of our marriage, and her demeanor towards me seemed to worsen after she felt I couldn’t escape (because, marriage. This is not uncommon for women to do).

          I understand how society has poisoned the good nature of women in this “feminism” garbage and “boss babe” dynamic. For women who’ve grown up with that all around them they have those habits ingrained in them and those attitudes…. Once upon a time on another spectrum I had to make decisions regarding myself and my habits and attitudes, so I know full well it’s not easy.

          My wife and I both absolutely intended for our marriage to be “1 and done” as it should be. And she finally realized and accepted that all this poison has indeed affected her and she “is not better than everyone else”. Just the same as I am not. We can all be selfish and harmful to people- it’s human nature. Being aware of that and being able to asses oneself is how to protect against that and many would also advocate religion does that too.

          As a part of helping my wife I have instituted some basic acts of service for me that she does every morning. She makes and delivers my coffee to me, and she kneels next to me and gives thanks to God for providing her with me and the patience and humility that god granted me for her. Yes, my wife is the submissive as many would say “should be” but I also serve my wife in helping her and guiding her as needed. We use the Obedience App as a tool, and both of us have found it very helpful. The giving thanks for her husband is separate from her regular prayers, and those are expected as well.

          Mrs Trying, please do be comforted by this and Aaron’s reply’s as to you are in fact trying, and more importantly- you desire to do better. If you don’t pray and don’t give thanks for your husband each morning- try it! It can’t hurt, right?

          Good luck Miss

          1. Cresta Avatar
            Cresta

            HoHH,
            I like what you wrote about requiring your wife bring you your coffee each morning and pray and give thanks for you as her husband, as well as say her own prayers. At first glance this can sound sort of self-serving and overly controlling, and I wouldn’t want to suggest this is a specific practice that anyone else should employ, but there’s a certain type of wisdom in what you are doing that really speaks to me and I want to make a point of recognizing it.
            1) For one thing, you are requiring your wife to submit to you first thing each day. This is keeping her submission a non-negotiable, inescapable reality first thing each day.
            2) In that submission you are requiring not just submission, but an act of humbling herself before God in regards to her relationship with you, by praying submissively before you.
            3) And you are making it clear you expect her to cultivate that relationship with God by having her do other regular daily prayers at your behest too. In that you are not just leaving her relationship with God up to her, but making it part of her submission to you. IE, as a Christian wife she needs to submit to you if she wants to obey God, and she needs to draw near to God and pray each day in order to obey your requirement that she do so. You have made it clear that being holy and Godly is also a non-negotiable requirement under your leadership.

            As I read Aron’s reply to “Trying” and her response to a solid exhortation and rebuke was a meek, “Yes Sir” and I also read how you HoHH lead your wife, it makes me think of “reflexes.” Women can know they ought to submit to their husbands and they can try out of their own sensibilities on the matter, but women are also wired with a submissive “reflex” and if a man knows how to tap on the right “nerve” he can elicit that reflex. Just like we don’t normally feel our legs will operate of their own will, but when the doctor puts that hammer in the right place on the knee, the reflex responds and the leg kicks. Too many men don’t know how to hit their wive’s submission reflex into action, and they are too nice in the wrong ways and too angry in the wrong ways. Whereas a good solid rebuke or a good humbling under strong, firm, confident male headship and courageous truth-speaking can easily tap the right nerve where she is putty in his hands and melts in surrender. Not just husbands and wives, either, but any voice that calls her to her correct place under her man’s authority. Thus Aron’s rebuke to Trying leaves her speechless where all she can say is “Yes Sir.” And your wife HoH is held there by your daily ritual for her. She is not free to be her own woman, do her own thing — she owes you these perfunctory actions and no doubt knows that to disobey would be unthinkably painful. And thus you hold her in the right frame with your requirements.
            I think all women have that reflex, but some have told themselves that it’s not in their best interests to give up so much power and submit to a man, so they fight it. Or, a man never elicits it from them, he never has the courage to make demands and requirements of her conscience.
            My husband and I talked about your ritual and I told him from my female perspective about female submission reflexes and how they are activated by a man requiring her to recognize her place. I asked him for more of that. It’s a scary thing to ask but thank you for activating my reflex to ask that of him.

  2. Demhi Avatar
    Demhi

    I think you’ve underestimated the loopy. H-5, right there with the cane. Definitely worse than the paddle. It stings rather than being a deep tissue thud, but it’s harsh and almost unbearable.

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Thanks for your comment, Demhi. I actually was thinking someone might bring this up. The loopy, if it is the heavy kind, can definitely be quite harsh. That’s why I entitled my article about it “I Hate That Thing.” It could perhaps be rated a little higher regarding pain. I don’t think I would put it up there with the cane though, which really is on the severe end. My wife would agree the loopy is not to be underestimated.

  3. Elisabeth Mary Avatar
    Elisabeth Mary

    This is a wonderful blog. I’m so glad I found it. My husband and I committed to the CDD lifestyle a week ago. We started with a weekend where we explained everything. It was our boot camp. It was hard for me because I managed my husband for over 20 years. I manage 600 people at work and I am very dominant and overbearing. My husband and I own the company together, but he would always be in my shadow. But I didn’t want to destroy our marriage anymore, my dear husband is a very good person… I feel that I have so many questions about a new life decision and sometimes I don’t even know what is right. I feel that the man has to rule me with a very hard hand now to get rid of my old self. I still struggle with wanting to control him in everything! Even in how he is supposed to punish me. I’m ashamed of myself but there are so many emotions involved.

    1. Darcy NH Avatar
      Darcy NH

      Elisabeth Mary,
      I am so glad to hear you were called to this life! I will by praying for you as you navigate this most blessed form of marriage. Good luck to you and Praise the Lord!

    2. Cresta Avatar
      Cresta

      Hi Elisabeth! That was me a year and a half ago! You’re definitely not alone.

  4. Darcy NH Avatar
    Darcy NH

    Perhaps me and my husband are unusual in that we generally only use hand spanking. I have been belted twice, but other than that it has only been hands. Instruments seem so impersonal to me. God provided my husband with the perfect spanking instrument – his man-sized hands!

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      That is a great way to give and receive a spanking. Thank you.

    2. Cresta Avatar
      Cresta

      My husband never quite “figured out” how to give a hand spanking. When he has, it feels more like he’s punching me with the palms of his hand on my buttocks, it doesn’t really sting but bruises bad… I actually got injured by a hand spanking, it flaired up sciatica and I needed 3 months of physical therapy for the pain to go away. And this was nowhere near his intention, at the time we were new to all this and we were just “trying out” a hand spanking. A spanking that makes it hard to walk and leaves pain for 3 months! I’d definitely say for us hand spanking is the most dangerous, and the most painful. We no longer do anything but playful hand spanks, he always uses an implement now, it just seems safer.

  5. Marie Avatar
    Marie

    Maybe my husband is different but I would rate his hand spanking at least a 4. He’s used more harsh instruments on me that I would rate a 5 but his hand is a close second that will easily leave marks that take weeks to heal. Still a very good read!

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Yes, some men can really make the bare hand hurt. That is especially so if he has leathery hands and uses plenty of muscle. Thank you.

  6. Rita Avatar
    Rita

    We typically use either a belt, a wider strap or a two pronged tawse for my regular spankings, all made of thick leather. They all deliver a loud slap so we usually only spank when we are alone in the house. My husband tends to give me hard strokes in sets of ten to twenty, sometimes with short breaks to lecture in between, sometimes just one set after another. Usually working up to 100 or 150 total, but we don’t count during the session. The heat and burning in my skin gets intense and difficult to bear by the end, but I’m at a point now where I can take them all while staying in position.

    We also have a couple paddles (one wood, one clear plastic with holes) that we use when we need to be more quiet, with fewer strokes and more of a deep thud feeling in my rear. I think probably only 20 or 30. I struggle more with the pain from paddle spankings, but I can also be more silent if I bite down on something. I tend to bruise and welt quite a bit more from paddle spankings though, so I’m glad my husband chooses these less frequently.

    My “favourite” is probably the belt or the strap because although they all result in a similar amount of pain, with these two I find I adjust to the initial stinging sensation and can handle the pain better. If that makes sense.

    Unless we are spanking somewhere besides our bedroom, I am either kneeling at the edge of the bed, or laying on my belly on top of a pillow with my legs off the edge of the bed. My husband is always standing while he spanks me. We have used other positions, but with our usual implements these two positions feel safest.

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Thank you for your comment. That sounds like a good solid regimen of punishment. It definitely will make some noise to spank solidly with those instruments. The tawse is not a common one, but I’ve heard it is very harsh.

      1. Rita Avatar
        Rita

        I’ve only experienced the tawse a handful of times. I agree, it is more harsh. My husband says it’s harder to control and his preference is to use the strap when he chooses to spank me with that style of implement.

  7. His-bride-Lauren Avatar
    His-bride-Lauren

    My husband tends to use his hand, the wooden spoon or the paddle. I have been caned once only, for a very serious infraction (I went out drinking with some friends without asking his permission first. I didn’t ask because I knew he would say no). The cane was very painful and the welts lasted for a long time. The worst part was knowing that I deserved each and every stroke. I find the wooden spoon to be very stingy and it certainly makes light work of reddening my bottom. There may be some slight bruising afterwards. The paddle is a deeper pain, that often causes bruising. My husband’s hand is my favourite, because it comforts me to feel his touch when I’m at my most vulnerable. We are always either OTK or else I am on all fours on the bed.

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Thank you for your comment, Lauren. The hand is the favorite for a lot of ladies, especially since it is so personal. That is a good array of instruments your husband uses. In many years of spanking I don’t think I have ever used the wooden spoon. So you are giving me ideas.

      1. His-bride-Lauren Avatar
        His-bride-Lauren

        Thank you, Aron. To be honest, he actually has a few more weapons in his arsenal, none of which he has ever used. I think he just likes having them so that he can threaten to use them. I am particularly frightened of the tawse, so I hope he never finds occasion to use it. The wooden spoon is probably a childhood throwback. My husband is Irish and I am British and both of our mothers used to use a wooden spoon for our childhood punishments, as did many British and Irish parents. It is very stingy, but far less harsh than the paddle. He tends to use it for minor infractions or for maintenance. I hope you get the chance to try it, it’s stingier than it looks!

        1. aronhusband Avatar
          aronhusband

          Thank you for the explanation. I have heard the tawse is quite harsh. I will let readers know if I ever decide to try out the wooden spoon.

        2. AdamW. Avatar
          AdamW.

          The tawse is formidable, Lauren! With the leather split in two (or more), every stroke involves at least “double trouble”…

  8. Mari Avatar
    Mari

    My husband is definitely a hand-spanker and one of those men who can deliver a tremendous spanking “only” with his hand. I am also painly familiar with eg. the hairbrush, belt and the wooden spoon, as His-bride-Lauren also mentioned.

    May I also add the carpet beater to your list. We have a rattan one which have been used on me instead of the carpets on two occasions. It is awful! I have never tasted the cane but would rate it somewhere quite close in harshness. It is quite silent also and easy to have laying around, at least where we live, since people use them when claning the house (me also, and I can’t stop thinking of its other usage each time I have to take out the carpets for a beating..).

    Thank you for your blog and greets from Finland!

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Thank you for your comment. I enjoy hearing from our readers all over the world.I am glad there are homes in Finland where husbands discipline their wives. I am not familiar at all with a carpet beater, but from your description it sounds very harsh. Silent instruments are also very useful. I appreciate those items from around the house being used for spanking, since they are always at hand, and can be an ever present reminder.

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