5-Year Anniversary

This April 8 marks five years since I started this marriage guide. First of all, I want to wish you all a very happy Spank Your Wife Day. I began writing the articles, mostly about spousal discipline, during the winter of 2020, and then after a little research and a few communications with people who run similar websites, I published this web guide, originally on the WordPress platform. A couple of other DD bloggers agreed to put up my link. While at the start I did not expect this guide to reach many people, I am continually pleased with how it has far exceeded my expectations, not just in the number of viewers, but also in the many interactions I have had with singles and married couples. The first few uploads of articles didn’t get many views, but within several months the number of readers started climbing, and I began to meet men and women who would be regular visitors, and with whom I would forge strong connections. 

As I have said before, I don’t expect to be adding new material here continually. Posts will eventually slow down a lot, and I am already slowing down slightly, since there are only so many topics to cover within the goal of this site. However, even once I am adding new material very rarely, I will continue to respond to comments, and to work with people who desire some marriage guidance, either for themselves or as a couple. I will keep running the site until I am too old to do it any longer, and that’s quite a few years into the future now. I am committed to making this resource available. 

I have always believed this guide to marriage is needed. That is in part because so much talk today about marriage is quasi-feminist, and even those teachers who profess gender roles with their lips, water them down so much that they end up teaching little. I believe we need a clear guide that will not diminish the man’s authority in the home, and which also instructs in the great tool of discipline, which brings much peace to marriage. Discipline is a fair and practical way to correct a wife when she needs it. Any husband should be ready to use it. There are other websites, including more popular ones, which discuss domestic discipline, and some are very good, but they tend to be led by women, and often are not rooted in biblical or traditional marriage. There are furthermore spanking websites which are not watered down in terms of authority, but they are heavily in the BDSM arena, which I find extreme in its methods and poorly rooted to begin with. It is a movement awash in punishment, but it simply seems to miss the point. I have tried to build something which provides what they do not — by being rooted in real marriage, in respecting gender roles, and in being clear and explicit in how a man is to lead his wife.  

I do this because I wish to help couples. Every marriage should reflect peace and love. It should picture a strong godly man, who is clearly in charge, and a gentle, beautiful wife, who follows him easily. If you rip authority out of marriage, and if you deny the man the right to discipline his wife, you truly harm that image. You also make the potential problems that occur in marriage multiply, and make them harder and take longer to solve. If a man leads and applies discipline when necessary, what once seemed like intractable problems ease up quickly, and some are gone nearly overnight. Real progress begins soon, even if it takes persistence to overcome in the long run. People who don’t want men to discipline their wives are usually just ignorant or afraid of it. Yet countless couples will acknowledge that it works, and many are enthusiastic about its benefits. It’s hard not to be. Spanking is a balm on the soul of sorts, and it brings a woman back under her husband like nothing else does.

There are no shortage of horror stories in marriage of wives who disrespect their husbands all the time, who withhold sex, and who basically lead independent lives. Ordering a marriage rightly does not allow for this. A lot of those misbehaved women know they need their tail strapped, and some of them are longing for a strong man to do it. A tail strapping would put their heart back where it belongs. But if they see a weak husband, whom they can manipulate, they despise him to no end. If they see a man who bends over backward to please them, but cannot tell them no or rebuke them, they laugh in his face. They become his enemy. Women need the man’s power, and they can fall into terrible evil without it. Marriages are destroyed by errant women. This fact is motivating to me to write my web guide, and I hope it is motivating to you also to help marriages, of your friends, family, and here online. You can make a difference.

I certainly expected some hatred when I began the website. The snakes on the secular left, and among worldly Christians, did not disappoint. I experience regular insult, hatred, and violent threats, along with occasional intelligent debate. If I were merely writing about a Dom spanking a Sub, with some revealing pictures alongside it, I would receive far less venomous hatred, but since I write about a Husband spanking his Wife, in what is a true and legitimate relationship called marriage, it angers people to no end. I allow some critical comments on the website, for the sake of correcting a false view openly, but I keep it to a minimum, since it is not the point of the site to have long debates, or to listen to nitwits insult and mischaracterize us. It is truly absurd, in this supposedly tolerant age, that someone really sits and seethes in front of their computer because of what a man and a woman do consensually in their own home. It also reflects a rather pathetic lifestyle that haters spend real time out of their lives to harass and threaten people they don’t like. I guess the going saying is: Get a life, loser. But I could think of other things to say as well.

The past five years have also been five more years of my marriage. I can sincerely look back and cherish every day. My wife and I do not know conflict. We enjoy each other, we work hard, we have affection, we spend time together in fellowship and worship of God. Viewing those years together is beautiful, and I am forever grateful that I have a godly wife who follows me and who manages so much important work in the household. She is the mother of my children, and it would be horrible if I did not trust her or think highly of her. She has only grown richer as a woman over the years, including those most immanent in my memory, and has only become more beautiful over the years. While she does not do it as frequently as I, my wife also has the chance to counsel other women in their marriages, and in their lives as women of God. She has good advice to give, and also is living out a splendid example in the home, an example which should set the pattern for other women, and let them see clearly where the correct path lies, and see just how peaceful the path is. That is the life in our home, in a marriage where she is disciplined when needed. My wife is a great help and is easy for me to manage, an ease which comes in part from discipline. 

I cherish my readers here, even the ones I have never heard from, and I truly hope this website will improve their marriages, or inspire them to marry in the first place. Marriage is a joy and a blessing. Don’t doubt it for a minute. Both man and wife are fulfilled through the union, and all society receives the rewards of stable homes, and children well raised. I am also very thankful for my readers who have consistently offered me encouragement, and those who have chosen to financially support my work. It is a great blessing to me. We’ve been through one website, which was eventually shut down by the faceless people at WordPress in 2023, and then over to TWO new venues, both at Substack and at my regular site. It took a little while to get all the technology working, and I hope it still is, but the situation now is better than when I started. I have two venues for this guide. I have a website with more options than the first one, which was more basic and lacked a search bar. You do have to subscribe in order to leave comments, but that is only to protect against spam and make harassers work harder. Potential problems have been turned around to make a new and I believe better product. 

Thank you all for following my work. This is a ministry from the heart which is rooted in my faith. I am honored to have you following it and to share my life and thoughts with you. I love to hear from our readers and learn from your own experiences in marriage, especially those which include discipline. Your insights are valuable to our other readers. I always welcome thoughtful, honest, respectful comments below these articles, and for anything best kept private, just write to my e-mail. It’s been great to have you join us. A warm welcome to anyone here who is new. There are hundreds of articles to absorb. I would advise you to go through some of the early articles first, which are more likely to deal with the basics of discipline in marriage. That will help you have a better hold of the subject. I hope you will consider this for your marriage, and that it blesses your home.


Comments

14 responses to “5-Year Anniversary”

  1. I appreciate your work. I was happy to find you, sad when your website disappeared, and happy to find it back up.

    People don’t always like to hear the truth, but they are better for it. Thank you for your courage in speaking the truth.

    1. I am honored to have your support. Thank you.

  2. LindatoBehave Avatar
    LindatoBehave

    I want to thank you so very much for your website and the wonderful work you are doing. Although relatively new to the Spank Your Wife, I appreciate the articles (although still working through them) and the times I was able to write you and got a response (each time). Thanks to you, I am able to now better understand the importance of, fully accept, and learn from the spankings I receive from my husband. Also, my husband and I appreciate the practical advice you give, especially on lecturing during a spanking and when a spanking should stop. Since reading your articles, my spankings are much more effective and results oriented and I am learning to behave the way a good wife should behave. Finally, I have shared your website with my mom and (step) dad and the four of us – my husband, mom, dad and me had an interesting discussion. Again, thank you.

    1. Hello Linda, I am very glad the website has been helpful to you and your husband. I always enjoy corresponding. I love to see people learn and grow in their marriages.

  3. Merichelle Avatar
    Merichelle

    The site is an excellent resource and links a lot of couples who want to live a traditional life. There must be many girls who bring a beauty and a certain femininity to a household, yet need to little management, and having your site helps with this. With a firm hand I have learned to be a little quieter, dress a little more modestly and make sure I can support my man. It is very useful seeing comments from readers, so a big thank you for maintaining the blog.

    1. You’re welcome. I’m really happy this resource has been useful to you. I know there are many women needing to learn these things, and to grow in femininity. Best to you and your family.

  4. What an achievement, Aron, to have kept this online community going strong for so long! I know it hasn’t been easy for you. It’s a lot of hard work, and you’ve received such hatred, but just imagine all the lives that you’ve touched by persevering, including my own! I truly believe that God is working through you to change the world, and I’m so thrilled that He led me to you all those years ago. Deep shame might have led me down the wrong path, but you helped me to see that my desires were a natural part of a real woman’s heart, and that I deserved a man who loved me enough to truly lead me. Now, I rely on my husband’s strength, and while I don’t fully understand why God in His wisdom has designed men and women this way, I know that we benefit greatly when we follow His plan. Even as I’ve grown in the years we’ve been married, I continue to require my husband’s oversight on a daily basis, but this is so much more than just the act of discipline. It’s setting clear expectations for me, watching over me, praying with me, praising me when I do well, and warning me when I’m heading towards dangerous territory. His Christ-like headship is what makes our happiness possible. Left to my own devices, I would have fought him on the silliest of things, simply because I believed I was right. I would have rebelled out of anger and made excuses for my bad choices. My behavior would eventually have harmed our marriage to the point where we might not have recovered. Spankings from my husband have offered a necessary course correction, vital in helping him to keep me and our marriage on track. I’m sometimes embarrassed and conflicted that I need my man to discipline me, but the fact is that I do, and so he does. Quite well. And it’s those moments of correction, brief in the overall scheme of things, that provide us with a marriage full of such peace and harmony. Later, when our daughters are older, we’ll talk with them more about marital dynamics, but I know they’ll be receptive to their husband’s authority because of the loving examples we’ve set for them. Their mother respects and obeys their father and blossoms in the light of his love. Our future sons, God willing, will be taught all that headship entails so that they can properly care for their own wives, preserving peace in their homes. It’s truly a beautiful way of life. Thank you for supporting it!

    1. Thank you for all of your participation through these years, Sophie. Your insight offers a great deal to our other readers. It is a joy to have you with us.

  5. Thanks for all the incredible work you do for this site, Aron.

    My wife and I have four children, and are hoping to be blessed with more. I would be interested in your thoughts on disciplining children and Christian approaches to raising boys and girls respectively. Thank you

    1. Hello James, You’re welcome. Thank you for your comment and questions. I do not write about disciplining children on this website, although it is necessary for parents to discipline them.

      As far as raising children, certainly boys and girls need to be raised differently, since they will grow up to be men and women. They each should be taught their roles, and the behavior which is appropriate for them. Boys should know they will be the leaders and providers in the future. Girls should know why will care for the home and serve their husbands. Dress, hair, toys, and other activities should be appropriate for their sex. It is good to even speak slightly different to them, since boys are being prepared to be tougher and are naturally stronger, and girls are being prepared to be more gentle, and are softer by nature. I call our daughters ‘sweety’ for example, and would never think to call our boys that. Both boys and girls need the model of their parents, with the father modeling male behavior, and the wife modeling female behavior. It should be clear there is love between them, and it should be clear that their father is in charge, and their mother follows him easily.

      Influences on the home should be Christian and wholesome ones, whether images, music, reading, or entertainment. Other activities should also be in a godly and wholesome environment. It is also important to realize that families are themselves not isolated from the greater community. Having fellowship with other families with like faith and values helps set the standard for the children, and give them a current to follow. It is important to have friends and companions, whether in church or personal life, who set a good example for the children.

      Of course, beyond a young age, children start learning to become men and women by helping their father and mother in different acts. Girls mostly help their mother with cooking, cleaning, or other homemaking things. They may help her as she goes around and provides any help to friends and neighbors which they need. Boys learn manly activities with their fathers, either helping him with the harder work around the house, or going to his job with him to see what he does. They also learn their role in the Church as leaders there, and may prepare for more learning in ministry.

      Teach these things, and provide it by example, and by a good environment. Children will learn it. They will learn their roles and with rare exception not have great difficulty in doing it. It will be a pattern they can follow, and activities they know from doing repeatedly. They will have the right mindset, since they know what it means to be a man and woman.

  6. Confused Avatar

    Just wanted to say “thank you” for everything you have done for couples and the help you have given. Your website literally changed my life in more ways than you even know. And funny thing: since reading your articles, I have DEFINITELY been spanked more than I ever was growing up. But… I deserved it. Haha. Thanks again for all you do!

    1. You’re welcome. I’m really happy to hear from you. I am glad to have helped bring about such a positive change for you in your marriage. That is what I care about.

  7. DarcyNH Avatar

    Aron your blog is such a blessing to so many, as is the many people in the comments section. I hope that all couples who feel the call to this type of relationship are able to find their way here for the support they may need. I personally have been helping to chaperone some dates for a courting couple at our church and have recently told the young lady about your website because I know how strongly she wants to be a meek submissive wife. I don’t know if she has read it yet, but I have prayed for her and the man she is courting and I know God will lead them.

    1. Thank you, Darcy. I am very honored that you recommend my website. Young women definitely need guidance in learning to submit to their husbands, and to have a gentle character. That will be very exciting if they get married. Bless you.

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