You might not know it, but despite the popularity of spanking, and the edgy pop culture BDSM world, there are men who have little idea of how to give a spanking to their wife. Some of them have never experienced one growing up, or it was so many years ago, when they were little, that they can’t conceive of it. Even men who were spanked as children realize that spanking an adult in marriage is very different, and they don’t know how to approach it. That is one of several reasons why so many men are hesitant to begin to discipline their wife, even when their wife asks for it. It’s being asked to do something you may not do well. It’s jumping into deep water. That’s why so many men ask how exactly you give a good spanking.
I would put it this way: how do you give a good, sound, thorough spanking, along with a stern lecture, which will correct the errant lady? This is not a mystery, and men give them every day, you can be sure. There are a few basic things to know, but your judgment needs to decide on many of the details, and you need to decide what works best according to what you see in your marriage.
In order to give a good, sound spanking, you need to be able to tell your wife the seriousness of her offense. Lecture her on her wrong, and why that is not acceptable. You should assure that she knows her behavior is absolutely unacceptable, and that you are rightfully going to punish it. While you should be self-controlled, you should bring to mind the offense, and it should be clear in your voice that you are upset, and disappointed in her. Bring to light each aspect of the wrong, and how it breaks the rules, or expresses disrespect. A few questions and answers during your lecture will let her say, in her own words, that she knows it was wrong, and that she knows it broke your rules. She should affirm that she understands that the punishment for that is a spanking. I like to begin giving the spanking after she has admitted that she did wrong, or that I do not allow that behavior. She then goes immediately into position and I begin the spanking.
The punishment session should be self-controlled. You should not be moved by anger or bitterness. You should draw to mind her offense and have your heart set on humbling her and on punishing the offense seriously. Be set on the fact she is going to receive a proper punishment, and that punishment will leave her regretting she ever behaved that way. It will leave her wishing she had listened to you, and had chosen not to disrespect you. Be firm, and do not back down, even if she is making excuses. Control the correction session, and give clear and firm orders about what she needs to do.
Do not accept any misbehavior during her spanking. If she back talks, you need to tell her that is unacceptable, and add punishment if she continues. If she moves out of position, instruct her to get back into position, and warn her it will earn her more punishment if she is not cooperative. Bad behavior during a correction can lead to a second spanking, if you decide. She is there to learn, and her heart should be on submitting to you in punishment, and humbly learning her lesson. No backtalk.
Choose a position for her that will allow you to deliver the strokes well. Sometimes position doesn’t matter, and comes in only as a matter of preference. Other times it does matter, as some instruments are easier to handle when you are spanking over the knee, and others are easier to handle if she is bent over, and you are standing. If it’s a small hard instrument, or by hand, having your wife over the knee for a spanking is easy, and you can deliver plenty of solid swats that way. However, with a longer instrument, or a swishy one such as a belt or a rope, it’s better to be standing, since you land the strokes more solidly that way, and with more balance of force across the bottom. That means you may have her bent over the edge of the bed, or kneeling upon it on all fours, to deliver the punishment.
Spank your wife long and hard. Be very thorough, and cover the bottom with plenty of strokes, the exception perhaps being if you are using a severe instrument, in which you can be more measured with the number of strokes. I expect to see my wife’s bottom changing color all over as I deliver her spanking. You don’t have to use all your force in delivering the swats, but use enough to land your strokes hard on her bottom. It should feel solid. You can somewhat gauge by her reaction if you are landing them hard enough, but experience will tell you how to spank hard, and not go too far. Do not be swayed by her tears, or cries, since a spanking is supposed to hurt, and those are usually signs you are doing a good job. Pouring out her tears is also good for her, as they help her come to terms with her own guilt, and eventually accept the cleansing and peace the correction offers. Spank hard past tears, and make sure that she regrets her behavior, and will never want to repeat it.
Some questions I will have my wife answer as I am spanking her include:
Are you glad you behaved that way? Do you wish you had made a different choice?
Are you sorry for your behavior?
Who do you belong to? Who does that little butt belong too?
Are you going to behave that way again? Are you going to listen to your husband next time?
Do I allow you to do that? Is it a good idea to dismiss what I tell you to do?
Did you follow your husband’s rules? Who’s your man?
These questions are hardly Shakespearean poetry, but when she hears them as you are strapping her backside, they do sink in, and they help shape her interior. They help her remember, through your voice, and her actions, that she is yours, and she needs to follow you, paying the highest respect. They also allow her to admit to herself that she truly messed up big, and how much easier it would be if she behaved. I don’t want you to feel limited by the examples I give, as there are others, and you may find your own questions useful, and find other things that your wife needs to affirm during her cleansing. I like to have her repeat a few of the more important answers as well, whether during the spanking itself, or during another part of the correction. Verbally saying what she needs to do, while kneeling before you, is a great help to her. There is a tendency for the guilty party to look down, but I will at times lift her face so that she needs to look me in the eyes as she affirms her obedience.
The key word for me in giving a good spanking is this: thorough. Do not stop at tears. Do not stop at an “I’m sorry.” Be sure that she is wishing it would end, and has gone through the full process of accepting guilt, regretting her behavior, and promising what she will do differently. Many women would say the very same thing, and relate that they do not feel fully punished with a few swats, even if they are hard. They need to be out of control. They need to be pouring out their tears, their sorrow, and promising to be good. They need a burning bottom to know they have been fully punished, and with full punishment, brought back to peace with you, and cleansed of their guilt. A halfway punishment isn’t cleansing for a woman. Bad behavior, disrespect, disobedience and other infractions are truly harmful to the marriage. They harm the home, They set a bad example for your children. They disrespect the man she should honor. Your wife needs to know how serious those things are in marriage, and she learns that over your knee, in no uncertain terms. That bad behavior causes much more pain than a spanking, and her time being spanked is only a small fraction of the harm her behavior could cause. She learns how serious it is with a solid, thorough strapping.
Do not soften up at the end of the correction session. It is true your wife should be restored to you, but that does not mean that finishing the correction demands you be soft. Your discussion with her at the end needs to be calm and patient, but it also needs to be firm. She should be able to tell you how she will behave differently, and express her submission to you. It is good for her to hear a reminder of the lesson she just received, and some ways she can stay out of trouble in the future. That comes along with an expression of your love and trust at the end, and she should know that you believe in her, and know she will show you much better to come. Her attitude at the end of the spanking should be one of wanting to serve you fully, and make you proud. She is to please you and serve you, and she will always be loved, even when she gets spanked.
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